


It Grows Perhaps the Greater

by CurrentlyLost



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, But it's also a major character, But terrified, Cassie/Dean - Freeform, Castiel is mourning, Castiel is precious and so nice, Castiel stll love his late husband, Crowley is an amazing friend, Dean has trouble staying in one place for too long, Dean is a groundskeeper, F/M, Guilt, He just goes on a dates with them, Idiots in Love, Lisa/Dean - Freeform, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentions of Jo/Charlie - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Pining, also a lot of that, from both parties, jo/dean - Freeform, like a lot, lots of texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:28:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 52,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28154631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurrentlyLost/pseuds/CurrentlyLost
Summary: Castiel Novak lost his husband two years ago and never recovered. He spends his days tending to his garden and sitting by Inias's grave. While there, he also tends to the whole cemetery.Dean Winchester likes to go with the flow, spending his time moving from place to place. When he ends up in a small Texas town to visit Sam and Eileen, the only available job is a cemetery groundskeeper.There, they meet and get to know each other.Can Castiel finally move on, even though he promised himself he would never remarry to date anyone else. Can Dean finally commit and settle down or will the ghost of Castiel's late husband be too much to handle?
Relationships: Andrea Kormos/Benny Lafitte, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. November 2019

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, y'all!
> 
> I know there are many things I need to be working on, but a few months ago, I started and completed this little story! But I did it on Twitter. This story is originally a social media AU (which I didn't know existed until recently), and so the format is going to be extremely different from my normal stuff.
> 
> I worked extremely hard to reformat this so I could share it with y'all in a way that makes sense off of Twitter, so I hope y'all enjoy it! <3  
> Keep in mind that both Dean and Castiel have their public Twitter accounts and their private ones and you'll be seeing their posts quite frequently. And the chapters will be much shorter, mostly text messages and twitter posts
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think!

**Castiel @CNovak** **  
**_Living in Guam, loving life, loving my husband_ **  
****  
  
**

**_Leitsac @NotCassie (private)  
_** _Just need a place_

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins** _  
__Sam’s older brother, owner of Baby, lover of all things kind  
  
_

**Naed @Hehenaed (private)  
** _Screaming into the void, always_

**November 2018**

Castiel grabbed the paper and crumpled it up in his fist, his breath was harsh and shaky. “There’s not even a fucking _war_ going on and—” he couldn’t even finish that sentence. “What happened?”

“It was an accident in the engine room,” the soldier at his door explained. “He saved everyone else in the room, got them out in time. He’s a hero, sir”

Castiel shut his eyes. “I don’t need a hero, I need my _husband_.” He wasn’t angry at the messenger. He was angry at the Captain for not listening to everyone on the boat when they complained they weren’t ready to move out yet, that more work needed to be done. They never listen and look at what happened.

He needed to call Inias’s family. He needed to wait for his body. He needed to take him back home.

“Someone will be over soon, with his body, and they’ll also help you with planning the funeral.” With that, he was gone. 

Castiel felt so numb. There were no tears, no crying, no yelling, just... nothing. He and Inias were supposed to grow old together, but they barely had two and a half years together.

Without realizing it, he’d slumped to the floor and stared at absolutely nothing. He only had one friend who lived in the same apartments. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialed her. She knew what it was like. Inias and her husband had the same job and they were like brothers. They all were.

“ _Hello? Castiel?_ ” Hannah answered.

“Hannah,” he said, his voice sounding foreign to himself. “I just... Have you heard?”

“ _No? Heard what? Are you okay?_ ” She asked.

“Inias is... he’s gone—he died,” he said, feeling like he wasn’t in his own body anymore.

“ _What?! What happened?!_ ”

“There was an accident in the engine room. They told me he got everyone else out, but...” he trailed off. It all seemed so surreal like he wasn’t talking about his husband. It didn’t even feel like his heart was still beating.

“ _Oh, my god. I’m so sorry, Castiel. I’ll be down right now, okay?_ ” She said. The clattering and noise on the phone showing that she was rushing to come downstairs.

“I want to be alone, but thank you. I need to start making phone calls. I need to... God, I need to call his _parents_. I need to call my mom. I-I have to pack up. I need to take his body home and-and plan the funeral,” he said, his breathing getting quicker.

“ _I’ll give you alone time in a bit. I’m already at the elevator. I’ll see you in a minute_ ,” Hannah said before hanging up. Castiel let his phone drop down to his lap. He couldn’t find the strength to get up.

That’s how Hannah found him. 

She stayed while he made the phone call to his parents but reluctantly left him for the phone call to his mother. He was scared. He was only 23. He just wanted his mom. He wanted her to hold him and protect him right now before he had to face the world.

**[November 8, 1:37 PM]**

**Castiel:** _  
_ _I’m coming home in a few days_

**Gabe:** _  
__Are you okay?_

**Castiel:** _  
__I’ll call you soon_

**Gabe:  
** _You’re scaring me Cassie_

**Castiel:** _  
__I’m scaring myself… I feel so numb  
_ _I just need a little bit of time_

**Gabe:** _  
__Okay  
_ _I’ll be here when you need me_

  
  


**[October 28, 2:58 PM]**

**Castiel:** _  
_ _It’s so stupid that y’all are missing Halloween!_

**Inias:** _  
__I know, babe but we gotta do what we gotta do_

**Castiel:** _  
__I know. And I’m so proud of you! Just call me as soon as you port *two hearts emoji* *red heart emoji* *smiling face with hearts emoji*_

**Inias:  
** _I always do darling. I love you!_

**Castiel:** _  
__And I love you *face blowing a kiss emoji*_

**[November 8, 2:30 PM]**

**Castiel:** _  
__They’re lying  
  
_ _They’re wrong you’re gonna come home and they’ll see  
_ _  
You’re gonna come home to me and we’re gonna live our lives together and grow old  
_ _  
Please please come home  
_ _  
Inias please_

  
  


**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_I can’t believe this_

_  
_**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _I’m so sorry for your loss_

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _I’m so sorry, brother_

**Meg @Meg20 replied:** _My condolences, Clarence_

  
  


**[Castiel’s Phone]**

_10 New Messages  
_ _5 Missed Calls  
_ _New Twitter Notifications_

**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_Part of myself literally just died_

**Meg @Meg20 on Twitter:**

_I wish I could do more…_

**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _I do too *pleading face emoji*_

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _He gets in soon_

**Gabe @GabrielN on Twitter:**

_This is gonna be so tough_

  
  


[ **November 9, 5:13 PM]**

**Castiel:** _  
_ _I’m just waiting for his body and I’ll be on my way home soon_

**Gabriel:** _  
__I can fly up there and come back with you_

**Castiel:** _  
__No, I need to do this on my own. But thank you._

**Gabriel:** _  
__How are his parents?_

**Castiel:** _  
__About how you would expect_

**Gabriel:** _  
__And you? How are you?_

**Castiel: _  
_** _I feel absolutely numb. I guess it hasn’t hit me yet._

**Gabriel:** _  
__I’m so sorry. Just process however you need to. We’re here for you._

  
  
  
  
  
  


**November 2018**

Castiel sat there completely motionless as Inias’s services went on. As everyone went up to say their goodbyes and toss dirt onto the coffin, he knew he was definitely in shock. He knew that now, everyone kept telling him. He hadn’t shed a single tear yet. Two and a half weeks have come and gone so quickly.

Back in Guam, a lady stopped by and helped him prepare for everything here in Texas. She called the funeral home, helped him pick a special casket that they’d never see the inside of because it had to be a closed casket, helped him pack up everything including calling movers for him. There was no way he was staying in Guam. Not without Inias. He decided to move back to Texas. That had been their plan anyway. They wanted to settle back down in Texas when Inias’s contract was up.

People he knew and didn’t know came by and said their apologies. He was getting sick of it. He was getting angrier and angrier with each “I’m so sorry for your loss” and he was doing his best to not explode. 

Seeing him on the edge, Inias’s parents intercepted the condolences and accepted them on his behalf to give him some space.

At the end of the ceremony, after the casket was lowered, he was presented a US flag, folded in a nearly perfect triangle. The lady in Guam helped him pick out a case for this, too.

Even worse, due to Inias dying on the job, his life insurance granted Castiel $200,000 with the other two hundred going to his in-laws. Although, they wanted all of it to go to Castiel so they arranged to have it sent to his bank account.

He didn’t want any of that money. He just wanted his husband back. But he was gone forever, their future ripped from them.

Later that night, lying in his childhood bedroom, he looked at Inias’s last tweet to him and he almost cried but he just couldn’t. He didn’t know what was wrong with him.

The only thing he knew was that he was never going to be okay, not ever again.

  
  


**Inias @IniasNovak on Twitter:**

_I love you, @CNovak_

**Castiel @CNovak replied:** _And I love you *face blowing a kiss emoji*_

**Meg @Meg20 replied:** _Ugh *nauseated face emoji*_

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _I agree with Meg *face vomiting emoji*_

  
  


**[December 25, 12 AM]**

_Merry Christmas, Darling. This would’ve been the first Christmas we ever spent together_

**[January 1, 12:01 AM]**

_Happy New Year, babe. I’ll give you that kiss in my dreams *two hearts emoji*_

**[February 14, 1:20 AM]**

_Happy Valentine’s Day *red heart emoji* You’ll always be my Valentine_

**[February 24, 12 AM]**

_Happy birthday, my love. It’s so hard to celebrate without you. Your parents had a small get together. I couldn’t make it the whole way through. Forgive me_

**[March 1, 1:27 AM]**

_I miss you so damn much. This isn’t fair!!  
  
_ _You’re a hero but at what cost?  
  
_ _Was it really worth your life??  
  
_ _OUR lives??  
  
_ _We had plans Inias  
  
_ _Together!  
  
_ _I hate this  
  
_ _I just want YOU  
  
_ _Here with me_  
  
_I’m so lonely without you_


	2. July 2020

**July 2020  
  
  
  
** Castiel walked about his garden, humming softly to himself as he watered his flowers and checked on his vegetables and fruits. Strawberry season had just passed in Texas and he was very happy with the turnout, earning plenty of money and donating it back to the city so they could finally fix up the town pool. The summers were absolute torture and the kids deserved to spend it swimming instead of melting.

A few times a week, he would get people from town coming to buy fruits, vegetables, and even flowers from him. He normally just gave it to them for free but would take it if they insisted. He was doing fine, even though he missed his husband every day.

It had taken him a few months to cry. When he finally did, it was like he couldn’t stop. He thought about the kids they could’ve adopted together, the places they could’ve traveled to, shopping for a home together, bickering over which furniture and decor, cooking together, growing old together. They got a couple of months of living together officially before Inias was taken away from him. It was cruel and unfair and he still hadn’t forgiven God for taking the love of his life away from him. He didn’t think he ever would.

After everything was watered and taken care of, Castiel packed up a small lunch, his bag of supplies, and started on his short walk to the town’s cemetery. He wasn’t entirely sure how he started caring for the entire land, but he didn’t mind it. After seeing how unkempt it was, he brought over his equipment and got to work. It took a week or so until it was completely cleared of its tall grass and weeds but it was worth it. These people deserved to be remembered.

He walked up the long drive in and bee-lined for Inias’s grave. It had been Inias’s wish to be buried next to his grandfather, whom he was very close with growing up and Castiel was just fine with that. Him being here was the only reason Castiel bought a house nearby. He would’ve gone wherever Inias wanted to be laid to rest.

He took a seat on the stone bench he’d had installed and sighed softly.

“Hey, honey. I’m back. I hope you weren’t too lonely or anything. Today, I decided to have your favorite lunch,” he said as he pulled out a ham and turkey sandwich and kettle chips. “You could eat this simple meal every day if I’d let you get away with it.” He laughed to himself quietly and ignored how loud it sounded on the sacred ground. It was the only thing about cemeteries that made him uncomfortable.

He sat and talked with Inias about the going-on’s of his garden, the town pool, and their friends and family. He talked about everything and nothing. Just like they used to, only Inias never said anything back.

**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_I bet he’d be so excited about me trying to have the town pool rebuilt. He loved it growing up._

_I miss him so much.  
  
_ ****

**Crowley @NotFergus replied:** _He’d be very proud_

**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _You’re doing such a good thing for him! *two hearts emoji*_

  
  


**Gabe @GabrielN on Twitter:**

_I’ll be visiting town soooooon! Everyone get ready for me *pleased face emoji* *pleased face emoji*_

  
  


**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_@IniasNovak I miss you so much. Gonna be three years soon. I’m thinking about you always._

  
  
  


  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_Looking forward to seeing Sammy!_

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _It’s Sam, but I can’t wait to see you either *pleased face emoji*_

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _Awww *pleased face emoji*_

  
  


**Sam Winchester @ItsSam on Twitter:**

_Almost time! Still got a little more cleaning to do though_

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _I love you too_

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles on Twitter:**

_I can’t wait to see @DeanWins!!_

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _I missed you too Charles_

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _Awww that’s so wholesome_

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _Aww *smiling face with smiling eyes emoji* I cant wait to see you either_

  
  


**Benny @BennyLafitte on Twitter:**

_Best friend’s about to be home! * clapping hand: light skin tone emoji*_

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _I’m almost there!! Bring over beers and burgers!_

  
  
  


Dean wasn’t normally one to stop in a small town, to stay for a bit. He enjoyed the city more. Plenty of people to meet and never run into again while there, and so many amazing restaurants, but something about this town had called out to Sam and Eileen. So that’s how he found himself parking in their apartment lot and getting out only to be greeted with his taller-than-should-be-normal little brother clinging to him.

“I missed you so much,” Sam mumbled.

Dean smiled back and hugged him just as tight. “I missed you, too, Sammy,” he replied.

Sam sighed and pulled back. “It’s Sam. So, what’d you think of the town? Cute, right?” He asked. He started getting Dean’s things from out of the car. Dean grabbed what Sam couldn’t and they headed inside.

“It’s definitely cute. Seems like a nice place to raise your kiddos, whenever y’all decide to have any,” Dean teased. He’d give up his left nut to be able to see the look on Sam’s face when he got flustered all the time.

“Shut up,” Sam huffed.

In the living room, he was met with Eileen who he quickly scooped up into his arms and gave the tightest hug he could without actually harming her.

He pulled back and kissed her head before smiling widely at her. “The better-looking brother is here to sweep you off your feet!” Sam smacked the back of his head. “I mean, it’s so great to see you, Eileen!” He corrected.

She rolled her eyes fondly and punched him in the shoulder. “It’s good to see you, too! How was the drive?” She asked.

“Best thing about driving through Texas is the scenery. Best in the States! It’s not too bad around here either; lots of fields and clear ground. I like it!”

“How long do you think you’ll stay?” Sam asked, the puppy-eyed look on his face.

Dean groaned. “I guess I can stay long enough to earn some cash before heading out again.”

“So....” Sam prodded.

“How about a few months?”

“Yes! Sweet!” He exclaimed. “Since it’s a small town, there aren’t a bunch of jobs around here but there I’m sure there are some in the next town or something.”

Dean shrugged. “I’ll ask around here first. Hey, I’m kinda tired. Do you mind if I catch a couple z’s before dinner?”

“No, go ahead,” Eileen said. “We set up the spare room for you. We’ll wake you before it gets too late.”

“Y’all are the best.” He grabbed his things and went into his temporary room. Dean decided to unpack later and just flip down on the bed.

**[The Family Group Chat]**

**Dean:  
** _I'_ _m in town now!!_

**Benny:  
** _That’s great!! When can we come over??_

**Eileen:  
** _Maybe for dinner?_

**Charlie:  
** _Yeah that sounds great! What time?_

**Dean:  
** _Y’all decide and wake me up. Texas is a bitch to drive through *grinning face with sweat emoji*_

**Sam:  
** _Shouldn’t be too hard. Just gotta have the pie in the_ oven

—

**Gabe:  
** _I’ll be in town soon!_

**Castiel:  
** _How soon is soon so I can get a room set up?_

**Gabe:  
** _Three days_

**Castiel:  
** _Okay. I’ll have it ready by then. I can’t wait to see you again. It feels like forever_

**Gabe:  
** _It does! We should go out to dinner or something while I’m there!_

**Castiel:  
** _We can do all three meals! How long can you stay?_

**Gabe:  
** _Not too long *pensive face emoji* Not even a week_

**Castiel:  
** _It’s okay. I understand *smiling face emoji*_

**Gabriel:  
** _I’ll see you soon, bro! Love ya!_

**Castiel:  
** _Love you too_

**Gabriel:  
** _*picture of the pikachu meme, with the silhouette of a penis over the face*_

**Castiel:  
** _GABRIEL NO_

  
  
  


**Eileen:  
** _Hi, Castiel! I was wondering if I could take you up on that offer of a strawberry pie?_

**Castiel:  
** _Of course! When do you need it by?_

**Eileen:  
** _Whenever’s convenient for you! I don’t want to trouble you_

**Castiel:  
** _It’s no trouble at all! I can finish one by dinner time tonight if you need it by today. If not, then tomorrow afternoon._

**Eileen:  
** _Tomorrow afternoon would be great! Thank you so much *two hearts emoji* Sam’s brother is finally visiting us so we wanna show him what a real strawberry pie tastes like *pleased face emoji*_

**Castiel:  
** _Dean finally made an appearance, huh? *laughing face with tears of joy emoji*_

**Eileen:  
** _Yes! It only took forever! Sam’s really happy though so I’d say it was all worth it_

**Castiel:  
** _I’m so happy to hear that! Sam’s so nice and I know how much he adores Dean_

**Eileen:  
** _Make sure not to say that in front of them *laughing face with tears of joy emoji*_

**Castiel:  
** _Men *face with rolling eyes emoji*_

**Eileen:  
** _Men *face with rolling eyes emoji*_

  
  
  


**[The Family Group Chat]**

**Eileen:  
** _The pie is secured!! For tomorrow though, I felt so bad about asking for it tonight even though he offered_

**Sam:  
** _You’re the best, babe. And so is Castiel!_

**Charlie:  
** _Ugh, heteros. They’re too much sometimes *nauseated face emoji*_

**Sam:  
** _*face with rolling eyes emoji* cute_

**Charlie:  
** _I’m adorable *smiling face emoji* *pleased face emoji*_

**Dean:  
** _LET ME SLEEP GOOD NIGHT_

Castiel rolled his eyes at Gabriel’s last message and put his phone away. He turned to Inias’s headstone.

“Gabe’s coming to visit in a few days. I’m so excited to see him,” he said. “Feels like it’s been so much longer than a couple months.”

No response.

“Eileen— you remember her, right? Sam’s girlfriend?— Anyways, she finally asked me for a pie because Dean’s made it to town,” he went on. “Ever since I first met them, they told me about how they’re always trying to get Dean down here. But it’s difficult since he drives all over the US. I think that’s pretty cool.”

No response.

“But I’d hate to just leave you here by yourself so you don’t need to worry about me just taking off or anything,” Castiel was quick to reassure the slab. 

He checked his watch. “It’s near sundown. I better get going back home. You know, I was thinking about getting a pet or something.” A pause. “Let me know what you think about it tomorrow!” With that, he grabbed his things and started on the walk home.

It was lonely, but he’d rather live the rest of his life with Inias, one way or another. And if he had to visit his grave every day until he dropped, then so be it.

The best thing about walking than driving was the silence it granted him. Nothing but the birds singing, the wind blowing through the trees, and the occasional sound of a stray dog or cat. He was content with his life.

**  
  
Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ I miss him so much _

  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ I’m okay with spending the rest of my life like this, with him, any way I can _

  
  
  


**[The Family Group Chat]**

**Dean:  
** _ Okay I think I’m done sleeping _

**Sam:  
** _ It’s only been like an hour or so?? _

**Charlie:  
** _ Yeah dude get some more sleep _

**Dean:  
** _ No I’m awake. I should go look around town for a job or something _

**Charlie:  
** _ Benny? _

**Benny:  
** _ Sorry, I’m all filled up *pensive face emoji* _

**Dean:  
** _ No it’s okay! I’ll keep looking _


	3. July 2020

**Castiel:  
** _Your pie is fresh out of the oven! Would you like me to drop it off?_

**Eileen:  
** _I’ll have Sam pick it up on his way home from Benny’s! Thank you so much, Castiel! *two hearts emoji*_

**Castiel:  
** _Anytime! Please let me know if you’re all satisfied with the pie *smiling face emoji* If not, I’ll be more than happy to bake another one for you!_

**Eileen:  
** _You’re the absolute sweetest, thank you! *two hearts emoji*_

**Castiel:  
** _*smiling face with hearts emoji*_

  
  
Today, when packing his things for the cemetery, he decided he was going to clean as many headstones as he could. They looked a little too dirty from the heavy rain a few days ago.

The pie was all ready and packed up for Eileen and the Winchesters. He was curious about Sam’s older brother and his travels. He hoped to meet him one day and hear stories.

“Hi, sweetheart. I’m back again today. A little earlier because it’s time to clean the headstones again,” he explained. He squatted down and placed a kiss on Inias. “I love you.”

He immediately got to work, making small conversations with each grave he passed by.

  
  
  
Dean drove throughout the town and stopped at every single business and nothing. He was beginning to think that he should’ve listened to Sam and just started at the next town over.

He stopped at the small grocery store for some ingredients they needed for dinner later that night.

**[The Family Group Chat]  
  
** **Dean:  
** _I think I found a job?_

**Eileen:  
** _The grocery store is hiring?_

**Dean:  
** _No, I was in line and talking with the cute cashier and the guy behind me heard I was looking for a job  
_ _He mentioned that the cemetery needed an official groundskeeper  
_ _9.75 an hour. That’s really good for a small town_

**Sam:  
** _Oh yeah the town hasn’t had one in a while! That’ll be a good job!_

**Dean:  
** _The guy told me to show up to the town hall tomorrow and talk more with him there. See if we can make it official._

**Charlie:  
** _I’m so glad to hear that! I know you like working outside and getting all gross so it’s perfect for you!_

**Dean:  
** _There’s nothing wrong with getting a little dirty from time to time, Charles *pleased face*  
_ _Besides, I don’t think it’ll be any hard work at all, but I don’t wanna overestimate myself *laughing face with tears of joy emoji*_

**Charlie:  
** _Yeah, that sounds like something you’d do. Go in all macho and get your ass kicked by a plot of land_

**Dean:  
** _*four middle finger emojis*_

**Charlie:  
** _I love you too *face blowing a kiss emoji*_

  
  
  
  
  
**Sam:  
** _Hey, Castiel! I’m leaving Benny’s right now and I’ll be there in about 5 min or so_

**Castiel:  
** _Okay, I’ll be here!_

“Hello, Sam,” Castiel greeted when he opened his front door. He stepped aside to let Sam in.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Sam asked.

“Today was a nice day. The weather was a bit harsh but the breeze was forgiving.” He went into his kitchen and grabbed the pie. He packed it inside a large white box, a green bow right on top, and signed the box with a “Welcome to Town! :)”

“This is perfect, man! Thank you so much. Dean is gonna be knocking on your door every day after he gets a taste of your baking,” Sam joked.

Castiel laughed in response. “I don’t think they taste that good, but you know your brother best.”

“You should meet him sometime.”

“I’d definitely love to hear about his travels,” Castiel said eagerly. Sam grinned widely.

“I’m sure you’ll run into him soon enough in town.”

“Well, I’m looking forward to it. Please, tell Eileen and Dean I said hello and let me know if you enjoyed the pie. I’d be happy to make anything else for you.”

“Thank you so much, man.”

Castiel waved as Sam drove away.

  
  
  


**[The Family Group Chat]  
  
**

**Sam:  
** _Got the pie! I’m on the way home!_

**Dean:  
** _Buckle it in, Sammy. You’ve got precious cargo_

**Sam:  
** _I’m not buckling in a damn pie wtf_

**Dean:  
** _If anything happens to it, I’m gonna riot, bitch_

**Charlie:  
** _You’re so dramatic  
_ _It’s just a pie_

**Dean:** _  
I can’t believe you just said that *unamused face emoji* _

**Charlie:  
** _I’m almost to town!_

**Benny:  
** _I’m heading over right now, just finishing up closing duties  
_ _And pie is the best, y’all. Sam, buckle it in!_

**Dean:  
** _I can’t wait till Benny is here since y’all don’t know how to act *angry face emoji*_

**Sam:  
** _*face with rolling eyes emoji*_

**Charlie:  
** _*face with rolling eyes emoji*_

**Benny:  
** _*face blowing a kiss emoji*_

  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_*two smiling faces with heart eyes emojis* Thank you, Castiel *two drooling face emojis*  
_ _Image of a homemade strawberry pie]_

**Eileen @EileenLeahy replied:** _@CNovak thanks so much again!! We loved it! *two red heart emojis*_

**Castiel @CNovak replied:** _I’m glad you all liked it! Welcome again to town, @DeanWins!_

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _Thanks, man!_

  
  
  


“This is Castiel?” Dean asked, looking at his Twitter pic.

“Yeah,” Sam said. “Nice, dude.”

“Yeah, well, the dude’s also hot,” Dean grinned. Then his smile dropped when he read his bio. “Oh. Nevermind.” He never messed with married people. Friends are fine but never flirting. “Y’all wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure,” Eileen said.

Dean didn’t notice the looks his friends gave one another.

**Castiel:  
** _ What time are you coming in tomorrow? _

**Gabriel:  
** _ Mid afternoon  
_ _ Can you bake me some cookies??? _

**Castiel:** _   
_ _ Of course *face with rolling eyes emoji* _

**Gabriel:  
** _ You love me *pleased face* _

**Castiel:  
** _ You’re my brother, I’m obligated to _

**Gabriel:  
** _ Dick _

**Castiel:  
** _ You love me _

**Gabriel:  
** _ Yeah, I do *face with tears of joy* *middle finger emoji* _

**Castiel:  
** _ Night! _

**Gabriel:  
** _ Night, baby bro!  
_ _ I’ll call you when I reach town _

**Castiel:  
** _ *smiling face emoji* _

  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ Gabriel’s coming to visit tomorrow and I know he’s gonna scold me on visiting Inias every day. But I can’t help it. I wanna see him. _

  
  


**Naed @HeheNaed on Twitter:**

_ Why does this guy have to be so hot AND married??? _


	4. July 2020

“Hey, I just hit town. Need anything from the store?” Gabriel asked.

“No. I’m good, thanks. And it’s perfect timing because the cookies are fresh out,” Castiel replied.

“Fuck yeah. I’ll be there soon!” With that, he hung up. Castiel rolled his eyes at his brother’s silly behavior. He loved him though.

“Gabe’s nearly here?” Crowley asked, taking the cookies that Castiel was handing to him.

“Yes.”

“I better get going then,” Crowley said.

“You’re more than welcome to stay, of course!”

Crowley shook his head. “No, I don’t wanna intrude on a family moment. I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Come by again soon?” Castiel asked.

“Of course,” Crowley smiled. “I’ll tell everyone you said hello. They understand, by the way. Why you left the group chat.”

Castiel gave him a grateful smile. “I know. You guys are the best.” They hugged and Castiel watched as Crowley drove away with a small smile on his face. He really loved his friends.

  
  


**[*Unamused Face Emoji* Group Chat]  
  
**

**Crowley:  
** _He’s doing okay. Gabe’s coming by to stay with him for a day or so_

**Kelly:  
** _Is he still visiting Inias everyday?_

**Meg:  
** _You know he is_

**Kelly:  
** _*two pensive face emojis*_

**Crowley:  
** _He’s still grieving. The only thing we can do is wait_

**Meg:  
** _You know this isn’t what Inias would want_

**Crowley:  
** _It doesn’t matter what we think, because this is what Castiel feels_

**Meg:  
** _I know. It’s just so hard to watch_

**Kelly:  
** _He’s just separated himself from everyone. We don’t really get to talk to him unless we visit._

**Meg:  
** _And what about you, Crowley? You pushed back your year off to keep an eye on him._

**Crowley:  
** _Castiel is more important to me than school. I’ll keep watching out for him as long as he needs it._

**Kelly:  
** _I just wish we could do more  
_ _He deserves to be happy again, to move on_

**Meg:  
** _He does. But he’s stubborn_

**Crowley:  
** _That he is_

  
  
Castiel and Gabriel hugged each other as tight as they could.

“I missed you, man,” Gabriel said, smacking him lightly on the back as they pulled away. Castiel led them back inside and into the kitchen so Gabriel could destroy those cookies.

“I missed you too. How are things in the city?”

“Super crowded and sucky,” Gabriel sighed, eating two cookies at once. “Milk?”

Castiel poured him a glass and set it down in front of him.

“You could always move back here,” Castiel offered.

“The commute to school would be too much, Cassie. I’m sorry. After graduation in a few years, I’ll come running.”

Castiel chuckled. “I bet you would.”

“And you? How’ve things been around here?”

Castiel shrugged. “The same. Garden is growing more and more and I’m actually thinking of beekeeping.”

“Do you even know how to do that?”

“I could learn,” Castiel shrugged again. “But between caring for the garden and the cemetery, I don’t think I’d be very good at keeping up with the bees.”

“The cemetery? Don’t they have someone to look over it?” Gabriel asked before eating another cookie whole.

“They haven’t been able to fill out the position in a long while. So I’ve just been doing it myself.”

“You’re not even getting paid for it, huh?”

“It’s not like I need the money. I’m there anyways,” Castiel replied.

  
  
  
  
  
**[The Family Group Chat]  
  
**

**Dean:  
** _I got the job! I start tomorrow *pleased face emoji*_

**Sam:  
** _What’re the hours?_

**Dean:  
** _Regular 9-5, hour lunch from noon to 1_

**Charlie:  
** _Those are great hours, dude!_

**Dean:  
** _I know! I can’t wait  
_ _Hey can we get another pie from Castiel to celebrate??_

**Sam:  
** _I told him you’d be knocking on his door every day after you tasted his baking *face with tears of joy emoji*_

  
  


**[Castiel’s Phone]**

_Dean Winchester @DeanWins followed you!_

**@DeanWins:  
** _Hey, Castiel! I really loved your pie and I was hoping to get another one? I’d be more than happy to pay you for you!_

**@CNovak:  
** _I’d be happy to make you another, no need to pay. What flavor would you like?_

**@DeanWins:  
** _Is Apple okay?  
_ _And as repayment, if you happen to have any problems around your house, I’m a terrific maintenance guy._

**@CNovak:  
** _That’s so nice of you, Dean. My house is alright for now but I’ll definitely keep that in mind! Thank you!_

  
  


**[Dean’s Phone]**

_Castiel @CNovak followed you back!_

  
**Naed @HeheNaed on Twitter:**

_I shouldn’t want to meet this guy in person but I do *two loudly crying face emojis*_

  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_Dean’s… kinda pretty_

  
  
  
“Good news, Inias!” Castiel said happily. “Sam’s brother, Dean, liked my pie so much that he asked me to make another one! My baking skills are getting better,” Castiel said proudly.

“I’m thinking that I’ll make your favorite this year for your anniversary. Monkey bread! I’ve been practicing. I don’t burn it anymore.”

Castiel used most of his free time to bake and cook anything he could. It helped him feel less lonely.

“Unfortunately, I can’t stay too long, honey. I need to get to work on that pie. I haven’t made apple pie in a very long time, so I’m nervous. Send me a good luck kiss?” He asked, smiling down at Inias’s picture.

Just then, a huge gust of wind blew the trees and Castiel smiled wider.

“I know you’re always here with me.”

-

Dean left the town hall building and sat in his car for a moment. Sitting in Texas summer heat wasn’t ideal but he just needed some time to himself. He was happy to have a job that he could do by himself, with no one around to bother him. As much as he loved being in cities, he liked it best in the in-between time. In the car going from point A to B to C, all the way to Z.

He was excited about the pie Castiel agreed to make. The man seemed very sweet and he hoped they could be friends, even with his husband too. Dean wasn’t sure how long he’d be in town, but either way, he didn’t have to worry about getting attached.

  
  


**[The Family Group Chat]  
  
** **Eileen:  
** _Hey, Dean can we have your burgers for dinner tonight?_

**Dean:** _  
Sure. I’ll stop by the store right now. Just left city hall. Got a work uniform and everything, btw. I’ll model for y’all later *winking face emoji* _

**Sam:  
** _Ewwww we don’t wanna see that!_

**Dean:  
** _Sammy, I’m not coming out naked!  
_ _… Unless Eileen wants me to? *blowing a kiss emoji*_

**Sam:  
** _No, but thanks for asking *red heart emoji*_

**Dean:  
** _See? No need to worry!_

  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_Made my famous burgers for dinner tonight! *pleased face emoji*  
_ _[Image of a burgers and fries on a plate]_

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _You couldn’t make that for us last night??? *three angry face emojis*_

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _You owe us some, Winchester!_

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _Y’all, they were SO good *drooling face emoji*_

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _Don’t worry, I’ll make y’all some, don’t pout *face with rolling eyes emoji*_

  
  


**@CNovak:  
** _Hello, Dean! Your pie is finished. Would you like me to drop it off?_

**@DeanWins:  
** _I can pick it up, or Sammy can. I’m on clean up duty *Loudly crying emoji*_

**@CNovak:  
** _My condolences *face with tears of joy emoji* Tell Sam to let me know when he gets here!_

**@DeanWins:  
** _Yeah, no problem_

  
  
  
“Hey, Sammy. My pie is ready. Can you go pick it up?” Dean asked.

“Why don’t you go?” Sam asked curiously.

“I’m cleaning up in the kitchen and it’s dark. I don’t wanna get lost and end up on the back of a milk carton. You’re more familiar.”

Sam snorted but got up and grabbed his keys.

Dean handed him a paper plate covered in foil. “Here. This is for Castiel, as a thank you for the pie.”

“Okay. I’ll be back soon,” he said, leaning down and kissing Eileen on the forehead.

“He said to let him know when you’re there!” Dean called out just before Sam left.

He got back to cleaning up the mess he made and washing the dishes. He pretended he didn’t notice Eileen lurking in the kitchen doorway.

“How come _you_ didn’t wanna go?” She finally asked after a few minutes of silence. 

Dean sighed and turned to her. “Because I’m cleaning up,” he said.

She raised her brow and gave him a look.

“Meeting someone in the dark is way too intimate for me. I’ll meet him during the day,” he said, shrugging easily.

“I guess that makes sense. You’re kinda used to going out and picking people up,” Eileen noted.

“Yeah. It wouldn’t feel right to me. I’d feel extremely uncomfortable because he’s married.”

Eileen left it at that and went back to watching TV. Dean went back to washing the dishes and trying not to feel slimy. He included a burger for Castiel’s husband so it wasn’t like he was trying to win him over with his awesome cooking skills.

Everything was fine. It’s fine.

  
  
  
  
  
**Sam:  
** _I’m here!_

**Castiel:  
** _Okay *smiling face emoji*_

  
“Hello, Sam,” Castiel greeted, welcoming him inside. “Dean’s pie is in the kitchen.”

“Here, he made this for you. As a thank you,” Sam said, handing him the foil-covered plate.

“That’s very kind of him.” Castiel smiled. “From what I saw on Twitter, they’re kind of a big deal.”

Sam chuckled, “Oh yeah. It was the first thing Dean ever learned how to cook and he’s perfected his own style by now. He calls it an art.”

“I agree. Any form of creation is an art,” Castiel replied. He set the plate on the counter and picked up the box. “Here you go.”

“Thanks again, man. Sorry to just grab and run, but I got an early class tomorrow,” Sam explained.

“No worries! It is getting late. Tell Eileen I said hello. I’m excited to try these famous burgers,” Castiel said, patting Sam on the shoulder.

“They’ll be the best you ever tasted!” And with that, Sam left. Castiel waved as he got in the car and then shut his door.

His curiosity got the best of him, that and Sam talking up a big game, so despite having already eaten dinner, he sat at the counter and pulled the foil off of the plate.

“They’re still hot,” Castiel muttered. He picked up one of the burgers and took a huge bite, letting out a pleased hum at the taste. He chewed slowly and thoughtfully, taking in the textures and seasoning. “They were certainly right to make a big deal. These are amazing!” He said to himself.

He was positive Inias would love it, being such a burger fanatic.

Castiel saved the other burger for Gabriel. He was positive it’d taste just as good warmed up.

**@CNovak:  
** _Dean, your burgers are absolutely amazing!_

**@DeanWins:  
** _I’m glad y’all liked them! Sammy just got home with the pie_

**@CNovak:  
** _I haven’t made apple in a while, so I hope it’s to your liking *grinning face with sweat emoji*_

**@DeanWins:  
** _I love it, man! It tastes awesome!  
_ _Eileen and Sam aren’t allowed any *please face emoji* I’m taking it to my room to finish it by myself_

**@CNovak:  
** _A whole pit by yourself?? I don’t believe that_

**@DeanWins:  
** _Oh, dude, you ain’t seen nothin yet_

**@CNovak:  
** _I’ll take your word for it *face with tears of joy emoji* Have a good night, Dean_

**@DeanWins:  
** _You too :)_

  
  
**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_Thank you again for the pie @CNovak!! *two drooling face emojis*  
_ _[low quality image of an apple pie]_

**Castiel@CNovak replied:** _It was my pleasure! Thank you for the wonderful burgers! They tasted so amazing *smiling face emoji* [low quality image of two burgers and fries]_

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _Awwww, how come I didn’t get a burger???_

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _You didn’t make me any pies *pleased face emoji*_

  
  
  


**Leitsac @NotCass on Twitter:**

_So he’s pretty… and can cook. He called it an art form_

  
  


**Naed @hehenaed on Twitter:**

_He complimented my burger! My famous burgers! *two smiling face with hearts emojis* He’s so nice too wtf *angry face emoji*_

  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

I feel kinda guilty for thinking he’s pretty…  
  
I’m sorry, Inias. Although, I think he’d probably agree


	5. July 2020

**[Crowley’s Phone]**

**Meg:  
** _ Um… have y’all seen Clarence interacting with some dude no Twitter?? _

**Crowley:  
** _ I don’t recognize him but he must be Sam’s brother _

**Meg:  
** _ Yeah. They’re exchanging food _

**Kelly:  
** _ That’s kinda cute _

**Crowley:  
** _ Careful, now.  
_ _ He’ll get too defensive if it’s brought up to him _

**Kelly:  
** _ Nothing wrong with making a new friend _

**Crowley:  
** _ Agreed _


	6. July 2020

Dean got up bright and early to make breakfast for everyone. He wanted to make them something simple but tasty and he had the perfect thing in mind.

He took a shower, got dressed, and went into the kitchen. He started the coffee and pulled out everything he needed.

  
  


**Sam Winchester @ItsSam on Twitter:**

_ Leave it to Dean to make perfect migas *three drooling face emojis*  
_ _ [Image of migas on a white plate] _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ Why do I always miss out on his food *loudly crying emoji* _

**Benny @BennyLafitte:** _ You live in Austin *man shrugging: light skin tone emoji* _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ Yeah, move back here _

  
  
“Hey, good luck on your first day!” Sam called out before he left.

“Thanks!” He shut the door behind himself and got into his car. It was kind of a chilly morning for the summer but he was thankful for it right now. Although he knew he was probably going to have to switch out of this uniform once lunchtime hit.

He followed the directions he was given to the cemetery and was shocked at how clean it looked despite having no groundskeeper. He parked his car outside the gate and went to check the inside of the shed located in the front corner. Whoever did this probably didn’t have a weed eater since the grass around the gate was still pretty tall. Around most of the headstones, too, but he’d probably do that with his hands.

He examined the tools in the shed and was relieved that everything still looked pretty new aside from the thin layer of dust. The guy who told him about the job, Rufus, probably moved these in here for Dean recently. 

He grabbed the weed eater and got to work on the fence.

***********

  
  
“Going back again today?” Gabe asked. They’d just finished having lunch together and Castiel was gathering his things to head back to the cemetery.

“I go every day,” Castiel said easily. He was used to this conversation by now. “You’re more than welcome to come with me, you know.”

“No, thanks. Cemeteries make me uncomfortable. Unless you need me to go with you, then definitely.”

Castiel laughed softly. “No, I can manage fine on my own.”

“I believe it. Hey, so that burger was awesome. Did you make that as a late-night snack or something?” 

“I didn’t make it. I made a pie for Sam’s brother and he gave us burgers as a thank you,” Castiel explained.

“I literally fell in love while eating it. I’m thinking about asking his hand in marriage.”

Castiel laughed. “Let me know what he says, but I’m sure you’ll have to get Sam’s approval first.” Gabriel waved him off as he left the house.

He felt kinda bad spending time away from his brother when he was only visiting for a few days, but he promised Inias that he would be there every day.  
  
  


**********

  
  
Sure enough, Dean had to switch out of his uniform and into regular jeans and a t-shirt by the time lunchtime came around. He tossed his uniform in the wash while he ate the food he ordered from Dairy Queen and kicked back in front of the TV.

Sam was at school and Eileen was in San Antonio at her job; it was just him.

So far, he was really enjoying his job at the cemetery. He cleared all the grass around the fence and almost half of the grass from the gravestones. It was tough work, but he loved it. He loved being able to listen to his headphones as high as he wanted and not have to worry about anyone calling for him.

  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ First day of work is going awesome! _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ Tough? _

**Dean Winchester @NotDean replied:** _ Yeah, but also fun? If that’s an appropriate word for it _

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _ Good luck! _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ Thanks *blowing a kiss emoji* _

  
  
**Sam:  
** _ Hey, I’m on break! Can you bring me some food?? _

**Dean:  
** _ Yeah, what do you want? I got DQ earlier _

**Sam:  
** _ Tacos from Don Juans? Three carne guisada tacos with cheese and a sweet tea _

**Dean:  
** _ Call it in and put it under my name _

**Sam:  
** _ Thanks!  
_ _ It’ll be ready in 10 min _

**Dean:  
** _ Okay  
_ _ I’ll text you when I’m on my way to you. Better be waiting outside though _

**Sam:  
** _ Kay, thanks! _

  
  
**Sam Winchester @ItsSam on Twitter:**

_ Shout out to @DeanWins for being the best bro ever *pleased face emoji*  
_ _ Image of a carne guisada taco with cheese on a white plate] _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ Careful! That’s gonna go to his head _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ Too late *blowing a kiss emoji* _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ *face with rolling eyes emoji* _

  
  
Dean was almost ten minutes late, but he felt more energized after seeing Sam for a little bit. He parked Baby and grabbed his gloves and knee pads and put them on before grabbing his headphones, noise-canceling.

“All right! Time to keep going,” he said to himself. He went through his playlist and clicked shuffle. He hummed happily when it was Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon.

“ _ Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another you been messin’ around _ ,” he hummed to himself as he dropped down to his knees and got to pulling out the extra weeds.

He knew he was going to be able to finish today, but he’d get real damn close. He wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do other than clean up and keep it looking nice, but he’d do some research tonight.

He looked at the headstone he was working on, ‘ _ Inias Novak _ ’, and tilted his head. His last name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Migas is a dish that consists of corn tortillas, eggs, and different vegetables and seasonings to suit your taste.
> 
> My mom always made this for us <3


	7. July 2020

Castiel has his lunch packed and a book with him. He was planning on reading a book to Inias today, Wise Blood.

He noticed something different today, there was a gorgeous, classic car parked out front. He’d never seen it here before. Castiel walked up the long entrance of the cemetery and saw a man kneeling over Inias’s grave. He immediately went over.

“Excuse me,” he said. The man didn’t turn around.

“Excuse me, sir, what are you doing?” He demanded. No response. Castiel noticed the headphones on his head now and sighed. He tapped the man’s shoulder, causing him to jump and hit his shoulder on Inias’s headstone.

“Ah,  _ shit _ ,” the man hissed, pulling off his headphones. He looked up at Castiel and they both froze.

“Are you... Dean? Sam’s brother?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah. And you’re Castiel, right?” Dean asked, slightly mispronouncing his name.

“Yes. I’m so sorry for scaring you. Um,” he cleared his throat. “What are you doing? Is your shoulder okay?”

“I’m just doing some cleaning around the headstones. I’m the new groundskeeper. And yeah, it’s fine.” Dean stood up and held his hand out for Castiel to shake. “It’s great to meet you in person, man. Your pies are fantastic!” They shook hands.

Castiel was glad it was hot and humid outside or the blush on his cheeks would’ve been noticeable. He ducked his head.

“Oh, thank you. I’m very happy to hear that you liked them.” He looked around and noticed that most of the taller grass around the property line and headstones along with the tall weeds were gone. “It looks really nice so far. I didn’t have a weed eater, so I couldn’t do the edges.”

“Oh, it’s been you taking care of the place?” Dean asked. Castiel nodded. “Then why do I have the job and not you?”

“I don’t need the money. And I was tired of coming here every day and seeing how neglected it was. How forgotten...” Castiel mumbled.

“You come here every day?”

“Yes.” Castiel didn’t explain any more than that and Dean understood it wasn’t his place to ask. He looked down at the headstone he’d almost been finished with and the last name finally hit him.

_  
Novak _

  
That was Castiel’s last name as well. His shoulders slumped down a bit and he looked back over to Castiel who had a sad smile on his face.

His husband was buried right here.

Dean returned the sad smile with his own and nodded.

“I’ll let you get to it. I’ll come back and finish his before my shift is over,” Dean explained. He grabbed his headphones. “It was real nice meeting you.”

“Yeah. You too,” Castiel replied. He watched as Dean put his headphones back on and moved to the next headstone. Castiel was shocked. Dean didn’t say the words he hated most, the words that Castiel heard so many times, the words that everyone said when they found out about his husband.

_  
I’m sorry for your loss _

  
Castiel took a seat on the bench there and talked to Inias as if Dean wasn’t there, almost right behind him. This was supposed to be Castiel’s place, and he didn’t know how he felt about Dean infiltrating it.

A few hours later, Dean looked up at the right time and managed to catch Castiel walking towards him. He pulled his headphones off.

“Hey, you headin’ out?” He asked.

“Yes, I’ve gotta get back home to check on my garden and start on dinner. Tonight is my brother’s last night here,” Castiel explained.

“A garden? That’s awesome. Good luck, man.”

“Um, thanks for cleaning everything up.”

“You did most of it, Cas,” Dean laughed. “I can’t take credit.”

Castiel gave him a shy smile and nodded. “Well, you did help,” he grinned.

“Okay, I’ll take some credit.” They shared another smile and stared at one another for a moment. Dean cleared his throat. “Do you need a ride home?”

Castiel shook his head. “No, I like the walk and it’s not too far. Thank you though,” he replied.

Dean nodded. “I’ll see ya around then.” He gave Castiel another smile and waved before putting his headphones back on.

Once he was sure Castiel was gone, he went back to Inias’s grave and knelt by the headstone. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to him as he pulled the weeds out. He repeated those words until his vision blurred and he had to blink away the tears.

  
  
  


**[The Family Group Chat]**

**  
Dean:  
** _ So Castiel is here  
_ _ And he’s visiting someone named Inias…  
_ _ Who’s his husband, right? _

**Eileen:  
** _ Yes _

**Dean:  
** _ Why didn’t y’all tell me?  
_ _ I could’ve accidentally said something insensitive _

**Sam:  
** _ It wasn’t our business to tell, Dean _

**Dean:  
** _ No, I get it. I’m not mad. I”m just… unbelievably sad.  
_ _ I’ll see y’all after work _

  
  
  


**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ Just found out Castiel’s husband passed away… I honestly feel like an asshole _

_ I’ve been kinda jealous of Cas’s husband since last night and… I’m just a dick. This man is mourning and I’m thinking about him like this _

  
  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ Dean didn’t say the words. He just returned my smile and left me to my business. He didn’t… ask questions _

_ He hums and softly sings classic rock to himself *pleading face emoji* _

_ He calls me Cas now *thinking face emoji* _

  
  
  


**_[The Family Group Chat]_ **

**_  
_Dean: _  
_**_ I’m about to head home. Do you need me to pick up anything from the store? _

**Eileen:  
** _ No, I’m making lasagna for dinner tonight _ **!**

**Dean:  
** _ You’re amazing *smiling face with heart eyes emoji* _

**Sam:  
** _ *Angry face emoji* _

**Dean:  
** _ Don’t be peanut butter and jealous, Sammy *pleased face emoji* _

**Sam:  
** _ You’re insufferable *face with rolling eyes emoji* _

**Dean:  
** _ And yet you love me so much _

**Eileen:  
** _ It does certainly say a lot about you, babe _

**Sam:  
** _ You’re taking his side? *loudly crying emoji* _

**Charlie:  
** _ Ooooh that’s gotta hurt _

**Dean:  
** _ Hehehe *pleased face emoji* _

**Benny:  
** _ Dean, come over for a drink with me? Some coffee? I miss you and wanna catch up more _

**Dean:  
** _ Yeah, no problem! Let me just go shower and change first. I’m all sweaty _

**Benny:  
** _ I’ll be waiting here! _

**Charlie:  
** _ Gay _

**Dean:  
** _ *blowing a kiss emoji* _

  
  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ Coffee date with @BennyLafitte! *blowing a kiss emoji*  
_ _ [Image of two coffee mugs filled with coffee sitting on top of saucers, a hand gripping the handle of one of the mugs] _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ *eyes emoji* _

**Eileen @EileenLeahy replied:** _ *eyes emoji* _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ *eyes emoji* _

  
  
  
  


“Dude, I really needed this,” Dean said, smiling widely at Benny. It was nearing 6:30 in the evening and Benny walked him out to his car.

“Sorry we didn’t tell you about Inias,” Benny said, patting his shoulder.

“It wasn’t any of my business. I don’t really know Cas that well or anything. I guess... I just felt bad because I’ve been thinkin’ to myself ‘it’s so unfair that he’s hot and married’ and just being so insensitive in my head.” Dean sighed. “I just feel like a dick.”

“You’re human, brother. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. And now you know, you know?” Benny said. “Castiel’s very private and, even though we all know about his husband by now, no one ever talks about it. Not to him or anyone else.”

“He’s a nice dude. It’s hard to believe that somethin’ so terrible happened to him,” Dean replied.

“A lot of bad things happen to a lot of good people. I think it’s just the natural order of things.”

“Not somethin’ like that. Losin’ someone you were plannin’ to spend the rest of your life with? That’s... that’s a whole ‘nother thing altogether.” Dean kicked at the loose gravel under his boots and they stayed standing there in silence for a while.

“I better get back inside and you better get home before they eat without you,” Benny said, pulling Dean in for a tight hug. “Be safe.”

“Thanks, man. You too.”

  
  
  


**Naed @hehenead on Twitter:**

_ I feel better after talking with Benny. I really missed him *pleading face emoji* _

  
  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

__ Not that it’s any of my business but I thought Benny was married?  
_ Shouldn’t even matter to me. I’m married. So what, Dean’s pretty. Am I really letting my eyes stray from my husband wtf is wrong with me  
_ __ It’s only been two and a half years since Inias, the hell is wrong with me

-

“Are you sure you can’t stay another day or so?” Castiel asked Gabriel that night.

“‘Fraid not, Cassie. But I’ll try to visit again soon. And you have Crowley visiting you almost every day, right?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “I’m not asking because I’m lonely. I’m asking because I  _ miss  _ you,” he huffed.

“I know. With school and work, it’s hard to get away sometimes,” Gabriel sighed. “But as soon as I get back, I’ll start planning a time to stay for at least a whole week.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. Now, let’s get some sleep. I wanna go out for breakfast before I have to drive back,” Gabriel yawned.

“Don Juan’s or Benny’s?” Castiel asked.

“I’ll sleep on it.” Gabriel pulled him in for a quick hug and started on his way to his room.

“Hey, Gabe?” Castiel called out, voice small. Gabriel tensed, remembering how Castiel sounded when he brought Inias home.

He turned and faced his little brother, nodding at him to go on.

“I’m... If I happen to think that... someone else looks attractive... I’m not—I’m not betraying Inias, am I?” He asked. “I’m—I’m not a bad husband, right?”

Gabriel’s heart nearly broke at seeing the tears in Castiel’s eyes. He shook his head. “No, baby bro. You’re doing nothing wrong, I promise,” he assured him.

Whether or not Inias was alive, there was truly nothing wrong with finding another person attractive. Although, in Castiel’s situation, this was a step in the right direction. He spent so much time talking to a slab and being loyal to someone who wasn’t alive anymore. Gabriel just wanted his brother to be happy again and he knew Inias would want the same.

Castiel only nodded in response and disappeared into his bedroom.


	8. July 2020

Dean was back at it, finishing off the rest of the headstones when Castiel came into the cemetery again. It was earlier today. Almost lunchtime.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greeted, a shy smile on his face. “Hot today, huh?”

Dean snorted. “Well, it is summer. In Texas. Nearly noon,” he said, a huge grin on his face.

“That’s true. I see you’re almost done with clearing it all out. What are your plans next?” He asked.

“Well, I'm thinking about buying some flowers and planting them along the fence, kinda give it some color around here.”

“That sounds like a terrific idea. Do you know what kind of flowers you want to plant?” Castiel asked.

“I was thinking Morning Glories, but... looking back on it now, I think the meaning of those would be kinda inappropriate, huh?” Dean winced.

Castiel bit back a smile. “Just a bit.”

“Well, my second choice was poppies, so that’s probably the better one.”

“It’s perfect. Do you know how to do all that? Gardening?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, a bit. Our mom was really big on gardening, taught me a few things.”

Castiel nodded along. “It’s relaxing, isn’t it?” Dean smiled. “Oh, I’ve brought some cookies. Would you like some? Freshly baked.”

Dean laughed, his eyes crinkling and his tongue peeking between his teeth. “I don’t have the kinda self-control to turn down your baking, Cas. So, yeah. Gimme some cookies.”

Castiel’s breath caught at the sight and sound of Dean laughing. He regained his composure and reached into his bag for a small gift bag he made personally for Dean not that long ago.

“Snickerdoodle? You sure know the way to a man’s heart,” Dean chuckled. They both froze and Castiel took a step back. Dean cleared his throat. “Um. Thanks for the cookies. They’re my favorite. I’ll let you get to it.” He slipped on his headphones and played the music before Castiel could even respond.

And that was a good thing because Castiel was almost shaking. He understood that Dean didn’t mean it in a suggestive way, it had slipped too easily from his tongue, but it still hurt that he was baking  cookies for another person when he was visiting his husband’s grave.

He went over to Inias and bowed his head after taking a seat. “Forgive me, honey. Please. I don’t know why,” he said, voice shaking with tears. “I’m so sorry.”

The wind blew once again and Castiel looked up in time to see a cardinal. He smiled to himself and then back down at Inias.

“You always forgave me way too easily.”

  
  
  


**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ Why’d I say that why’d I say that why’d I saw that why’d I saw that WHYD I SAY THAT _

**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ Gabe’s right. There’s nothing wrong with thinking someone’s attractive. And Dean seems like a naturally flirty guy. I know he didn’t mean anything by it. Although he realized his mistake pretty quickly and shut himself off. I feel bad *pleading face emoji* _

  
  


**Naed @hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ He brought me a tin of snickerdoodle cookies *loudly crying emoji* How’d be know they were my fav  
_ _ [Image of a close up of snickerdoodle cookies nestled into tin box] _

  
  
**Dean:  
** _ I said something insensitive to Cas *pleading face emoji* _

**Benny:  
** _ *person facepalming: light skin tone* What did you say? _

**Dean:  
** _ He brought me cookies today and they happened to be my favorite kind. So I accidentally said “you know your way to a man’s heart, huh?” and the LOOK ON HIS FACE  
_ _ BENNY I’M SUCH AN ASSHOLE _

**Benny:  
** _ Did you apologize? _

**Dean:  
** _ I tried not to make a big deal out of it so I just said I’d let him go and put my headphones back on _

**Benny:  
** _ Go apologize, brother _

  
  
  


**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ Benny’s right. Gotta apologize. I’m okay. It’s okay. He’s not gonna just be mad, right? I don’t want it to be awkward at work every day *loudly crying emoji* _

_ Cmon Dean don’t be such a wuss. Go apologize to the man!  
_ _ [Image of a Spongebob meme where he’s crying on the floor naked, arms around his knees] _

  
  
  


Once lunchtime came around, Dean was finished with his last headstone. There was no more putting it off. He sighed and stood up, stretching out his back for a moment and groaning softly at the soreness.

He looked back over at Castiel, who was sitting on that bench and talking. With his headphones still on his head and playing his music, he walked over. He wasn’t going to pause his music until Castiel looked at him. He didn’t want to risk hearing anything he should.

When he got about ten feet away, he nodded to himself. “Hey, Cas,” he said, voice accidentally a tad too loud due to his headphones on. Castiel looked up at him as the next song started playing.

_ Let It Be Me _ by the Everly Brothers.

_ I blessed the day I found you _ . Castiel’s bright blue eyes shine so magnificently in the shade of the tree above him.

_ I want to stay around you _ . The way Castiel’s head tilted and his eyes squinted in confusion made Dean’s heart clench so tight in his chest that he felt it jump up to his throat.

_ And so I beg you, let it be me _ . There was worry on Castiel’s face now and that’s when Dean was finally kicked back into gear. He tore the headphones off, although the song was still loud enough to be heard.

“What?” Dean asked.

“I asked if you were okay,” Castiel replied, standing up. “You’re crying.”

Dean blinked a few times and touched his cheek, where it was cold in the warm breeze passing by. Sure enough, he was crying. He quickly wiped his face.

“No, no, that was just sweat dripping down. Don’t worry,” he assured Castiel. Dean could tell that he didn’t believe him but was grateful that he didn’t bring it up. “I just came by to say... I just really wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. I hope you, a-and Inias, can forgive my insensitivity.”

Castiel gave him a soft smile and placed a hand on his shoulder, the contact sending shivers throughout the left side of Dean’s body.

“Dean, I’m not angry. Sure, I was a bit surprised. It’s been a very long time since anyone flirted with me, but, after giving it some thought, I realized that it’s just part of who you are. I don’t think you were making a move at all, I think you’re just naturally... charming,” Castiel explained.

Dean nodded. “Yes, it just slipped out and I really didn’t mean any disrespect towards y’all.”

They stood in silence for a moment before Castiel perked up.

“Are you listening to the Everly Brothers? Let It Be Me? I love that song.”

Dean smiled. “Yeah! It’s one of my favorites. Our parents used to dance to it all the time. Sammy and I grew up watching them act like love-struck teens, and it was nice. Gave me a sense of what love really looks like, you know?”

Castiel nodded along. “Yes, I understand what you mean. Inias and I-“ Castiel cut himself off and Dean waited patiently. He didn’t want to know anything that Castiel didn’t want to share and the smile he gave him told him as much. “Inias and I had a very blessed relationship. Dancing together, laughing, chasing each other around, the whole mushy rom-com stuff.”

“Sounds like it was wonderful, Cas.”

Castiel looked into Dean’s eyes with his tear-filled ones and gave him a shaky smile. “Yes,” he said, “it truly was. You know, in the time we were married, we never fought. We weren’t together long enough to have our first argument in our marriage.”

“Seems bittersweet.”

“How so?” Castiel asked.

“Sweet in a way that you only have happy memories to look back on, but bitter in the way that the time was too short,” Dean said. “The time is always too short.”

Dean thought about his own parents and where they were currently laid to rest, just across the plot of land. The last headstone he finished clearing up in the cemetery.

“Indeed, it is.”

“What song did you two love to listen to together?” Dean asked suddenly.

“ _ Over the Rainbow _ .” 

Dean clicked through his phone and handed the headphones over to Castiel. “Noise-canceling headphones. You’ll be experiencing this song in a whole ‘nother way.”

“N-no, I couldn’t just-“

“I need to pack up my tools for lunch. If I’m listening to my music then I’m just gonna dance and waste more of my lunchtime. So help me out, will you?” Dean grinned.

Castiel shot him a grateful look and hesitantly took the headphones. When Castiel gave him the go-ahead, he pressed Play and handed Castiel his phone. He gave him another smile and turned and walked away.

-

When Dean made it back to the shed, he could hear Castiel gasping and crying and everything in him wanted to go comfort him, but he held back. This moment and place was meant for Castiel and Inias only. He was just a visitor.

Once his stuff was packed away in the trunk, he walked back over to Castiel who was on his knees clutching Inias’s headstone. Dean sat on the bench and put his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“... I’m sorry,” Castiel said eventually, his voice is thick with tears but even. He pulled off the headphones and handed them to Dean without looking up at him.

Dean stayed silent, grabbed the headphones with the other hand so as not to take his first one off of Castiel.

“I haven’t broken down like that in front of anybody in a long time. And this is only my second time meeting you,” Castiel laughed self-deprecatingly.

“You’ve got nothin’ to apologize for,” Dean eventually said. “There’s no right or wrong way to handle grief. It just does what it wants and you have to cope until you’re eventually able to move on.”

“Does what it wants?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah. Grief’s made me drive coast to coast since I was sure Sammy would be okay without me, as if I could run away from it. It made Sammy throw himself into high school and then college and work,” he explained. “Though I guess his worked out better seeing as he’s the smartest dude in Texas.”

Castiel was silent, but smiling at Dean’s praise of Sam.

“What does grief make  _ you _ do?” Dean asked.

Castiel finally looked up at him, his face red and his eyes swollen. “It made me distance myself from everyone I know, made me fear a future without Inias, and makes me come here every day because I’m convinced that he would be lonely.”

Dean squeezes his shoulder again, giving him a sad smile. “I used to do that, too, you know. Visit my parents every day, but eventually, I had to stop. I had to stop and get away and I felt guilty for a while.”

“Why’d you stop?”

Dean shrugged. “It was hindering my healing process. I was a wreck, you know?” Castiel nodded. “I also thought they would be lonely, but then it just hit me one day that I was talking to who they used to be. Their souls weren’t in their bodies anymore. They were in heaven, looking down at me and probably worried out of the mind with how I was living.”

Castiel stayed silent. 

“That’s when I got it in my head that if I was running, then at least I was going somewhere and doing something, but... it was never really stable. It’s real dangerous out there.”

“Your travels, what were they like?” Castiel asked. He needed more time to think about what was being said.

“I’ll bring the photos over some time and we can go through them together, yeah?” Castiel nodded. They went silent again. Dean let his hand slip off of Castiel’s shoulder.

“I’m not trying to tell you how to grieve, Cas, not at all. I’m just tellin’ you my story. A story that no one's ever fully heard from me before. And I’m tellin’ you because I want you to know that you’re not alone. I didn’t lose my spouse, but I have experienced a great loss. And there’s nothin’ worse than mourning alone.” Dean really hoped he was making sense.

Castiel smiles at Dean, it was sad but fond and warm. “Thank you, Dean. That’s very kind of you. It’s gonna be three years since I lost him in November.”

“It’ll be ten years in November for us, too,” Dean said.

“Does it ever get easier?”

“No,” Dean said, “but you do get stronger and that makes all the difference in the world.”

Soon, they parted ways. Castiel had lunch next to Inias and Dean drove off to order something quick and scarf it down. He only had fifteen minutes of lunch left.

  
  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ Literally my second time meeting him and I cried and poured my heart out about Inias _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ But he was so nice and understanding and told me his own story _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ I’m just thankful to have made a new friend. Someone who understands and doesn’t judge me for how I’m coping. _

**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ The sound of his crying… he really loved Inias and he was completely robbed of a happy life with him… _

**Naed @Hehenaed replied:** _ This man deserves to be happy and I just hope he realizes that soon *pleading face emoji* It’s not my place to say but… what he’s doing is no way to live _

**Naed @Hehenaed replied:** _ But I would never judge how he does things or tell him how to grieve. At this point, all I can do is lend my support when he allows me to _


	9. July 2020

After lunchtime, he was left going back to work in regular jeans and an old sleeveless shirt he forgot he even owned. He’d forgotten to wash his dirty clothes yesterday and he was paying for it today.

When he parked back at the cemetery, he climbed out and winced at the pain in his right shoulder. He moved his shirt to see if he had a bruise or something and was shocked to see a huge bruise along the curve of his shoulder. He searched his memory for when he could’ve possibly hit and shook his head when he remembered Castiel scaring him yesterday. He hit it on Inias’s headstone.

It made him laughed. It was almost like Inias knew how Dean thought about Castiel and was punishing him. Or he was just projecting. He sighed, he was definitely just projecting. He still felt guilty.

He huffed and slammed the door shut. He wasn’t even entirely sure what to work on next since Castiel had done most of the work. He felt like he was just intruding; he didn’t belong in their space.

Dean looked back up at the property and noticed that the trees should be trimmed. It was perfect. He could be far away from Castiel until it was time to trim the tree Inias’s grave sat underneath and he could save his for last. Which meant he could do it tomorrow morning before Castiel showed up!

On his way to the shed, he saw Castiel sitting there with a book in his hand. He could hear him speaking as it wasn’t too far and quiet to hear what he was saying. But Dean could tell he was reading to him and he couldn’t help but smile.

He wondered what it was like to be that loved by somebody.

He grabbed a ladder, shears, and got to work with his headphones on. He didn’t dare disturb their time together.

  
  


*************

  
Castiel looked up when he heard gravel crunching and smiled when he saw Dean. He raised his hand to waved but frowned slightly when Dean didn’t notice him. With his headphones on, there was no way he was going to hear Castiel.

His eyes moved from Dean’s face to his shoulder and the dark mark on his shoulder and just barely held back a gasp. The bruise looked so painful and judging from the way Dean winced when he readjusted the ladder he was carrying, it  _ was _ .

He felt so bad for making him jump yesterday. He didn’t even know Dean had hit it that hard. Castiel looked back over at Inias’s headstone and touched the edge of it.

“He’s got a bruise, sweetie,” Castiel mumbled. “I’ll be sure to apologize later. Let’s get back to reading.” He opened his book and continued from where he left off.

  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ I accidentally scared him yesterday while he was cleaning up Inias’s grave and he ended up hitting his shoulder on his headstone. He has a huge bruise now *pleading face emoji* I feel so bad _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ I should bake him another pie as an apology or snickerdoodle cookies or both? I just feel so bad _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ I’ll ask Eileen or Sam what Dean’s favorite dessert is and make it for him _

  
  
Castiel checked his watch and then stood up when he saw it was time to leave. He bent down and kissed Inias’s picture, leaning his forehead against it briefly. 

“I’ll be back tomorrow, darling,” he mumbled.

He looked around for Dean but saw him at the far corner cutting away at some stray branches of a tree. Castiel decided not to bother him. He stared for a moment longer before turning, gathering his things, and starting on his walk home.

**Castiel:  
** _ Hi, EIleen! I have a question for you about Dean, once you get the chance! _

**Eileen:  
** _ Oh, hi! You have perfect timing. I just clocked out of work. What about Dean? _

**Castiel:  
** _ Well, I accidentally snuck up on him yesterday while he was working and he knocked his shoulder into Inias’s headstone. I saw today that he has a very huge bruise and I wanted to bake him his favorite dessert as an apology. _

**Eileen:  
** _ And yo _ _ u want to know what his fav is? You’re so nice! *two hearts emoji* _

**Castiel:  
** _ Thank you *smiling face emoji* But it was my fault so it’s the least I can do _

**Eileen:  
** _ I’m sure Dean is okay! _

**Castiel:  
** _ But I’d still like to. I just feel bad. _

**Eileen:  
** _ I understand *smiling face with hearts emoji* So I know that it’s pie, but I don’t know what his favorite flavor is. I’d have to ask Sam _

**Castiel:  
** _ Thank you! And don’t worry about asking Sam, I’ll send him a text message *two hearts emoji* _

**Eileen:  
** _ Are you sure? I can just call him _

**Castiel:  
** _ Yes, I’ll ask him, but thank you so much for offering! I really appreciate it. Please drive home safe! _

**Eileen:  
** _ I will! Thanks *red heart emoji* _

  
  
**Castiel:  
** _ Hi, Sam! I was wondering what Dean’s favorite kind of pie is? _

**Sam:  
** _ Hey, man! It’s apple. Why’d you wanna know?? _

**Castiel:  
** _ I wanted to bake him a pie for making him hurt his shoulder yesterday _

**Sam:  
** _ He hurt his shoulder yesterday??? What happened? _

**Castiel:  
** _ He was cleaning Inias’s headstone and I accidentally snuck up on him. He jumped and hit his shoulder on the headstone. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I saw the bruise today when I saw him after lunch. It’s quite big. _

**Sam:  
** _ Okay. I’ll check it out when he gets home _

**Castiel:  
** _ I’m very sorry for making him hurt himself _

**Sam:  
** _ No, it’s not your fault! Things happen and it’s okay. I’m sure he’s fine. _

**Castiel:  
** _ I’ll make him that pie and bring it over later tonight, if that’s okay? _

**Sam:  
** _ Sure! I’m sure that’d make his night *face with tears with joy emoji* _

**Castiel:  
** _ I certainly hope so! Thank you _

**Sam:  
** _ No worries, man _

  
  
  


***********

  
  
Dean looked up and saw Castiel leaving. He let out a long sigh and slumped against the ladder, letting out a soft hiss at the pain in his shoulder.

It was already almost time for his shift to end, so he decided to finish this tree and then head home to ice his shoulder.

He glanced over at Inias’s headstone in the distance and smiled softly. “Don’t worry, man. I’m sure I deserved it.”

He got back to work.   
  
  


***********

  
  
Once Castiel checked on his garden again and made sure everything was squared away, he went inside and got to work on making the apple pie for Dean.

He’d hoped Dean wasn’t upset with him about the bruise. But he was talking to him normally earlier, so he didn’t think that was the case.

He tried to calm his pounding heart. Even the thought of Dean being upset with him made him extremely nervous.   
  
  


***********

  
  
Dean tossed his keys on the table by the door when he got home, sighing heavily at a hard day’s work. He rubbed his shoulder and moved his arm around, biting back another hiss at the pain. This bruise hurt much more than it should.

“Hey, you okay?” Dean looked up at Sam coming from the kitchen with a bag of chips.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. “My shoulder just hurts. ‘M gonna ice it.”

Sam waved him over. “Lemme look at it.” Dean went over and moved his shirt aside to reveal the whole bruise. “Holy shit, dude. The hell did you do?”

“I hit it on a headstone yesterday. Didn’t realize how hard I hit it though, not until I went back to work after lunch,” Dean explained.

“How exactly did you hit it?” Sam asked. “Because it’s nearly to your neck.”

“Fuck, really?” Dean groaned. “I think it was just the shock of it. I was just taken by surprise and all that. And having to trim the trees all afternoon probably didn’t help.”

“You do what you gotta do and I’ll get you an ice pack.” Dean smiled his thanks and left to his room to change out of his sweaty clothes. “Grab a little towel, too!”

“Okay!” Dean called back. He grabbed his pajamas and went to the restroom to wash away the workday.

When he came out feeling fresh in his hotdog pajama pants and faded Zeppelin shirt, Sam was waiting for him with an ice pack in his hand.

“Thanks, Sammy,” he said. He put the little towel on his shoulder when he sat down in front of the TV and Sam put the pack on his shoulder.

“Does it hurt a lot? Like, should I make you an appointment with the doctor?” Sam asked, worry in his voice and on his face.

“I’m all right, don’t worry. It’ll be gone before you know it,” Dean assured him. Sam nodded and relaxed, taking a seat beside him and flipping through channels.

  
  
  


**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ This bruise hurts so damn much wtf?? Is it only hurting because of the guilt or did I really just hit it that hard??  
_ _ [Image of Spongebob laughing with the subtitles “laughing alternates with cries of pain”] _

  
  
  


**_[The Family Group Chat]_ **

**_  
Charlie:  
_ ** What’s up, bitches? What are tonight’s plans?

**_Sam:  
_ ** _ We’re staying in.  
_ _ And I think we’re ordering out for dinner. Eileen isn’t home yet, I can’t cook to save my life, and Dean has a hurt shoulder _

**Charlie:  
** _ He hurt himself already??? _

**Dean:  
** _ Wtf is that supposed to mean, Charles _

**Charlie:  
** _ It means you hurt yourself a lot _

**Dean:  
** _ I didn’t do it on purpose! _

**Charlie:  
** _ So then what happened? _

**Dean:  
** _ I hit it on a headstone _

**Charlie:  
** _ You’re okay though? _

**Dean:  
** _ It’s fine. It happens. And then I trimmed a bunch of trees all afternoon so it didn’t really help _

**Sam:  
** _ It’s gonna take longer than a few days. It looks pretty bad, dude _

**Dean:  
** _ Probably but it’ll be fine. I think I can finish the trees tomorrow and then do some more ground work or something _

**Charlie:  
** _ Just be careful _

**Benny:  
** _ Damn, brother, be careful _

**Dean:  
** _ I love you too Benny *blowing a kiss emoji* _

**Benny:  
** _ *blowing a kiss emoji* _

**Charlie:  
** _ Gay _

**Dean:  
** _ You think everything we do is gay *face rolling eyes emoji* _

**Charlie:  
** _ Because it is. If Benny wasn’t married, I’d totally suspect *face with tears of joy emoji* _

**Dean:  
** _ Benny’s a good lookin dude so I’m not even mad *pleased face emoji* _

**Benny:  
** _ Aw thanks man *smiling face with heart eyes emoji* _

**Dean:  
** _ I’m here for you, boo *smiling face with heart eyes emoji* _

**Sam:  
** _ Boo *nauseated face emoji* _

**Charlie:  
** _ Boo *nauseated face emoji* _

**Benny:  
** _ *face with tears of joy emoji* _

**Dean:  
** _ *winking face emoji* _

  
  
When Eileen got home and saw the ice pack on Dean’s shoulder, she immediately checked on it and winced from how painful it looked.

“I’m okay,” Dean assured her. “The ice is helping it.”

“It’s nearly melted. Let me go get you some more,” she said, taking the watery pack.

“I’m gonna order some food from Benny’s! He texted me and said he’d deliver it for us,” Sam said. “What do y’all want?”

“Bacon cheeseburger, with fries no mayo or tomatoes, and a sweet tea,” Dean said.

“I’ll just have a regular cheeseburger and a sweet tea,” Eileen said before disappearing into the kitchen.

“I think I’ll probably get the same as you. I was gonna go for a salad but I could just make that here, so,” Sam shrugged. He texted Benny their order and then leaned back into the couch.

Dean yawned and sunk further in his seat. The couch was suddenly very comfortable and he let his eyes slip shut.


	10. July 2020

It was just past 7:30 when Castiel finished packing the pie into a box. He had enough time to go drop it off and come back to cook his dinner before bedtime. He was pleased with how the pie came out and was almost excited to see how Dean reacted.

He grabbed the box and placed it carefully in the passenger seat of his car before getting in and starting on his way to the Winchester’s home. Normally, Castiel didn’t enjoy using his vehicle, but it was too dangerous to be walking out in the dark when he was surrounded by the woods. And it would take a long while to walk to his destination. This way, he could roll his windows down and enjoy the cool breeze of the night.

He parked in front of their apartment building and climbed out with the box. Castiel took a step forward but stopped himself when he saw Dean and Benny embracing each other on the porch. Castiel felt weird about what he was seeing. Benny was, he was positive, a married man, and Dean seemed to respect marriages. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Benny walking away, chuckling when Dean smacked his bottom. 

Castiel and Benny made eye contact.

“Hey, man. Didn’t expect to see you here,” Benny greeted with a warm smile.

Castiel cleared his throat. “I was just dropping off this pie,” he replied. “But it’s nice to see you, Benny. Are you and Andrea doing well?”

“Always. She’s my girl. I better get back to the diner before he comes for me herself,” he laughed. Benny waved at him as he went to his car.

When Castiel turned back to the apartment, Dean was standing only a few feet from him now.

“Cas? What’re you doing here?” He asked curiously.

“I, um, noticed your shoulder earlier and made you this as an apology,” Castiel said as he held the box out for Dean to take.

Dean’s eyes lit up and Castiel couldn’t help but smile. “Is it a pie?” He asked excitedly. “I mean, it wasn’t your fault, but is it a pie?”

Castiel chuckled. “Yes, it’s an apple pie, to be exact.”

Dean practically swooned. “You’re amazing, man. Thank you.” He opened the box and looked at it, taking a huge whiff. “Ah, it smells so damn good. I’m also not sharing this one.”

“It’s all yours. So, um, I was surprised to see Benny here,” Castiel commented, trying not to seem like he was eager for information.

Dean didn’t seem to notice, too focused on trying to cover the pie up again. “Yeah, he offered to deliver our food because he wanted to check out my shoulder and stuff.”

“That’s very nice of him.”

Dean perked up a little more. “Yeah! He’s a great guy. My best friend,” Dean said.

“I’m glad you have someone like that for you.”

“Do you?” Dean asked.

“Yes. Crowley is my best friend. He comes over just about every morning and sometimes for dinner.”

Dean smiled. “Sounds like a great friend.” Castiel nodded and they stood there in silence for a while, just staring and smiling at each other. It wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward at all, it was peaceful.

Then Sam came barging out. “Dude, you better not be making out with Ben—oh, hey, Castiel!” Sam greeted. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Despite what y’all think about me and Benny, he’s sadly straight and married.” 

“You mean that’s the only thing stopping you?” Sam smirked.

Dean shrugged. “Man’s good lookin’, Sammy. But I respect him and his marriage so that’s a no-go.” Dean held up the box. “Cas brought me a pie!”

“Are you sharing that one this time?” Dean grinned smugly. “That’s a no. Okay, well, I’m taking the food in. Castiel, you’re welcome to join us for dinner!”

Castiel shook his head. “Thank you, but I’ve got my own dinner waiting at home. Maybe another night?”

Sam nodded and smiled. “Sure.” Sam grabbed the food that Dean left near the door and headed back in.

“I’ll walk you back to your car,” Dean said.

“Thank you.” They slowly walked back to Castiel’s car, neither commenting on the slow steps they were taking. “May I see your shoulder? I only saw it from a distance.”

“Sure. You got a light on you? I left my phone inside,” Dean answered.

Castiel pulled his phone out and turned the flashlight on. Dean pushed his sleeve up and leaned down a little so Castiel could see better.

Castiel gasped softly. “I didn’t realize you hit it that hard, I’m so sorry.” He lightly touched the bruise.

Dean shivered at the contact. “Like I said, it’s not your fault, buddy. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’ll be gone before you know it.”

Castiel didn’t say a word, just kept looking at the bruise. Dean sighed softly and put his sleeve back down.

“I mean it, Cas. It’s all right,” he said, his voice softer. He patted Castiel on the back and rubbed it to comfort him as he wasn’t sure what else to do to help. It seemed to work though since Castiel loosened up.

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it.” Castiel opened his car door and took another look at Dean. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked.

Dean laughed softly. “Well, it is my job and I’m there every day, Monday to Friday, nine to five,” he said. They stood there, just staring at each other once more, like they were seeing each other for the first time again, in a different light.

Castiel seemed to break out of the trance first and looked away. “I, um, I better get home,” he said, clearing his throat.

Dean smiled at him sadly, but nodded and stepped away from the car. “Yeah. Drive safe. I’ll be seein’ you.” Dean waved at him and walked back inside while Castiel stayed parked and sighed heavily.

_ What am I doing? _

  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ What’s happening to me? I don’t like this. I don’t like HIM, I can’t. I belong solely to Inias, always _

**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ The way he looked at me… there’s something there. He must be terrified out of his mind. Maybe I should catch him before he leaves. _

  
  
  
But the time Dean goes back outside, he sees Castiel’s car leaving the parking lot. His heart is pounding in his throat and his ears are ringing with his nerves. He needs Castiel to come back. He needs to tell him it’s okay.

  
  


**@DeanWins:  
** _ Hey, Cas, look… I need you to come back, okay? _

Delete.

_ Please come back, okay? _

Delete.

_ We should probably talk _

Delete.

_ Thanks again for the pie! *smiling face emoji* _

He sent it.

  
  
He can’t bring himself to do it. It’s not his place. He has nothing to do with their marriage.

He walks back inside, and judging from Sam and Eileen’s faces, he looks as bad as he feels.

“Hey, you okay?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just... think me and Cas had a moment out there. And I think it scared him. Scared me too, honestly,” he admits, huffing a laugh. They’d find out eventually and he doesn’t have the energy to brush it off right now.

“A moment?” Sam is translating for Eileen since Dean could barely pick his head up.

“There was a moment where  _ something _ clicked, between us. And it was nice. But he pulled away and I don’t blame him. He’s probably feeling more guilt than me.”

“Dean, Inias is... gone. Castiel isn’t married anymore, technically,” Sam tried to reason.

Dean scoffed. “He’s still his husband and you  _ know _ that. That’s why y’all kept tellin’ me that he’s married, why y’all didn’t correct me when  _ I _ said it, and why y’all didn’t tell me he’d passed. Because you believe he’s married, too!” He ranted. “And I believe that. Seein’ him at the cemetery, how much he cares for him! Readin’ him books, cleanin’ up the land, eating lunch with him, talkin’ to him every day.” Dean’s eyes are filled with tears by now.

Eileen and Sam stayed quiet.

“It doesn’t make sense. I’ve only just met him! So why do I  _ feel _ like this?!” He gasped. “All of it just  _ hurts _ .” And then he’s done, his shoulders sagging in relief at finally getting everything out.

“Dean...” Eileen started, standing from her seat. Dean held his hand up and shook his head.

“ _ Don’t _ . Just... don’t. I’m goin’ to bed. I’m not hungry,” he said before trudging to his room and locking the door behind him.

  
  
**@CNovak:  
** _ Of course! Again, I’m very sorry about your shoulder! _

  
  
Castiel is making his dinner and constantly checking his phone for a response from Dean. After looking back at their message history, he sees that Dean’s read it already. Castiel tries not to look into why he feels disappointed or hurt by that.

That moment they shared in the parking lot, Castiel saw his face after he pulled away. Dean looked so sad but also disappointed. He knows Dean felt whatever was between them, too, and he probably understands that nothing will ever happen between them.

Castiel ignores the pain in his chest.


	11. July 2020

The next morning, Dean is moving through the motions of his before-work routine. He makes a breakfast that he slightly overcooks, mix-matches his socks, nearly forgets to put on deodorant, and is out the door a few minutes till it’s time to clock in.

Sam watches it all in a silent worry. He doesn’t know how to help his brother or Castiel. He feels it’s best to let them work it out, but be there when Dean needs him.

Dean parks his Baby and climbs out, grabbing his work gloves and thermos filled with coffee. He’s nearly done with the trees and definitely wants to be finished by the time Castiel gets here.

He punches his timesheet, something Rufus very much stressed on, and that confused Dean seeing as it’s 2020 and he wasn’t sure they were still used anywhere else and grabbed the ladder.

He put his headphones on, turned his music up, and got to work.

  
  
  


***************

  
  
“So any other big plans today?” Crowley asked as they were having breakfast.

“Not really. I love my routine,” Castiel replied.

They sat there in silence as they ate before Castiel let out a huge sigh. “Okay, what is it?” He asked. He knew Crowley too well. There was something on his mind.

“I’m just wondering who Dean is,” Crowley says carefully.

“He’s Sam’s brother. A new friend, too. He’s also the new groundskeeper for the cemetery. Why?”

“I was just wondering because I saw you were both making each other food on Twitter the other night. He’s nice?”

Castiel nods. “Yes. You two might get along, actually.”

“Well, I’d certainly like to meet him sometime.”

“He and I don’t know each other well enough to see one another outside of his job, but I’ll bring it up to him at some point.”

It’s left at that. 

Castiel isn’t naive. He knows it was either Meg or Kelly who wanted to know about Dean. He doesn’t know how to be honest with them, mostly because he doesn’t know how to be honest with himself.

  
  


**[*Unamused Face Emoji* Group Chat]  
  
** **Crowley:  
** _ So I brought up Dean. Asked about him and all. _

**Kelly:  
** _ What’d he say? _

**Crowley:  
** _ That they only know each other because of Sam and Dean’s job as the groundskeeper for the cemetery _

**Meg:  
** _ So then they’re spending a lot of time together? _

**Crowley:  
** _ Seems they will be, yeah.  
_ _ But Castiel knows that y’all were curious _

**Meg:  
** _ And you’re not? _

**Crowley:  
** _ Not really. If he ends up liking this Dean guy then cool but if not then that’s okay too. I think, more than anything, he just needs a friend _

**Kelly:  
** _ So then why can’t he come to us? _

**Crowley:  
** _ Because we walk on eggshells around him. We look at him with pity. And you know that. He needs another friend. Someone here. Closer and who understands. That could be Dean. _

**Kelly:  
** _ We just miss him _

**Crowley:  
** _ He knows. He’s just.. Still working through things. But he’s been smiling more and it’s definitely a sight I missed. _

  
  
  
Castiel goes to the cemetery earlier since he’d finished his housework earlier than he expected. He packed some snacks and his lunch, packing an extra sandwich in case Dean accepted his offer of having lunch together. He tried not to think much about how happy that thought made him.

He spots Dean climbing down the ladder underneath the tree above Inias’s grave. Looking around, he notices that he left this tree a bit bigger than the others, so his bench was still covered from the sun. It made him smile. Dean was extremely considerate of him and Inias.

Dean still hadn’t noticed him as he started picking up the pieces he’d cut from the tree and stuffing them into a garbage bag. And with his headphones on, all Castiel could do was wait. He didn’t want to scare Dean again and make him hurt himself possibly worse this time.

Castiel was staring at a flock of birds passing by when he heard Dean speak.

“I’m sorry, man.” Castiel looked back at Dean and realized he was talking to Inias, not Castiel. Dean reached out as if he was going to touch the slab but pulled his hand back before he could. “You have a terrific husband. And he loves you more than anything. More than... I ever thought it was possible to love someone.”

Castiel couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Dean was apologizing and praising Castiel. Castiel suddenly felt like he was intruding on a private moment and wanted to leave before Dean noticed him. He started taking steps backward.

“You’re a... very lucky man,” Dean said.

When he was far enough away, Castiel started walking forwards again, just in time for Dean to turn and see him coming. He shot to his feet and pulled his headphones off.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said, a small, polite smile on his face. He didn’t know how to look at Dean right now. He was confused.

Dean’s brow went up for a moment and he sighed, his arms crossed over his chest loosely, as though he was protecting himself. “You heard.”

Castiel hesitates for a moment before nodding his head and looking away. “Yes, I heard. I’m sorry.”

“What’re  _ you _ sorry for?” Dean asked.

“It was a private moment.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Anyways, I’m sure I would’ve told you eventually.”

“Told me what?” Castiel asked.

“That I admire how much you love Inias and that he’s a lucky man to have you,” Dean said, his voice so soft and honest. Castiel felt his heart squeeze.

They stood there silently for a moment.

“What...” Castiel’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “What do you want from me, Dean?” He asked. Dean flinched at how defeated he sounded, but he refused to waver.

“I wanna keep bein’ friends if that’s okay.”

Castiel seemed caught off guard for a moment before breaking out into a wider smile. Dean tried not to flinch with how that smile made him feel. “Yes, I’d love that.” He set his bag down on the bench. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me? I packed an extra sandwich.”

Dean smiled apologetically. “I can’t today. I have lunch plans with Benny back home.”

“Oh, I see,” Castiel said. “I understand. Are you going out to eat?”

“No. I promised him I’d cook him a burger for cheering me up the other night and then coming to check on me last night.” Dean chuckled.

“Well, your burgers are amazing, even when it’s been warmed up. My brother really enjoyed his.”

Dean looked confused for a moment before smiling warmly. “I was wonderin’ if you’d just eaten both burgers or not.”

“What do you mean?” Castiel asked.

“I packed two burgers. One for you and one for Inias. I didn’t know he’d passed until yesterday, so I thought he’d be eating the other one,” Dean explained.

“No one told you?” Castiel asked incredulously.

“Nope. They said it wasn’t their place to say and that no one really talks about it.”

“I’m so sorry. That must’ve been quite a shock when you saw his headstone,” Castiel said.

“Just a bit,” Dean admitted. “But you don’t need to apologize. They were just tryin’ to be considerate.”

Castiel nodded and they were silent for a moment before Dean grabbed the garbage bag.

“Well, I better get goin’. Gotta go take this to the town dump and then head home for lunch.”

Castiel stepped aside and let Dean move past, willing himself to not feel disappointed at Dean having to leave. He knew he was failing, but managed to keep a soft smile on his face.

“Drive safe, Dean.”

“Thanks, man. Enjoy your lunch.” Then Dean put his headphones back on and walked away, leaving Castiel to watch him for a moment before sitting down and sighing heavily.

“What do I do?” He asked his husband. “Why am I feeling like this? I’m so sorry. I’m  _ so _ sorry.” After composing himself, he opened his bag and pulled out his copy of Wise Blood, and picked up where they left off.

************

  
After Dean had the car loaded up, he tossed his headphones in the passenger seat and made his way back to Castiel.

“Hey!”

Castiel’s head shot up and he smiled at seeing Dean walking back towards him. “Everything okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, I was just comin’ by to get that sandwich from you before I left. You made one for me, yeah?”

“Ah, um, yes, I did. But aren’t you making burgers?” Castiel asked.

Dean shrugged. “I’d rather have the sandwich you made me,” he replied, a bright smile on his face.

Castiel felt his heart swell and his breath caught. “R-really?”

Dean nodded.

Castiel pulled the extra sandwich from his bag and handed it to Dean with a fond smile.

“Thank you,” Dean said. “Y’all have a good lunch.” Then he walked away and left Castiel staring after him.

He stared until he couldn’t see Dean anymore and then picked up his book and began reading again.

  
  


**************

  
  
Dean sat at the town park eating his sandwich and a bag of chips he bought under the pavilion. He watched the birds dancing around one another and they reveled in the warm breeze. Kids were playing across the lake that ran through the park on the jungle gym and it warmed his heart.

He missed being that small when he didn’t have to worry about getting heartbroken, or losing his parents, or making sure Sam didn’t overwork himself (although he has Eileen’s help with that now). Mostly, he just missed how simple it all used to be, when the biggest thing that ever happened to him was dislocating his shoulder when Sam fell out of a tree and he broke the fall for his little brother.

Now he had all this guilt weighing on his shoulders and he felt like he wasn’t good enough for a person he felt an immediate connection with. He shouldn’t be so jealous of a dead man, but he was. Because Inias was always going to have Castiel and Castiel was never going to return any romantic feelings Dean had.

He really preferred that broken arm.

  
  
**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ He asked to have lunch with me, but I just couldn’t do it… He made me a sandwich though and I couldn’t let him make it for nothing *pleading face emoji*  
_ _ [Image of a sandwich made with thin slices of cucumber, spinach, bacon, swiss cheese, ham, turkey, and egg sitting on top of parchment paper] _

  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ I hope he’s having a good lunch. Even though he was making burgers, he said he’d rather have the sandwich I made for him. It makes my heart hurt. _


	12. July 2020

**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_ It’s looking so much nicer!  
_ _ [Image of cemetery gates titled “Madre Dolorosa”] _

**Meg @Meg20 replied:** _ You’ve done a great job on it! :) _

**Castiel @CNovak replied:** _ I can’t take all the credit! The groundskeeper is very efficient as well! _

**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _ *three smiling face with hearts emojis* _

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _ Looks awesome, baby bro! *kissing face with closed eyes emoji* _

**Crowley @NotFergus replied:** _ You and Dean did a terrific job *thumbs up emoji* _

  
  
  
Castiel was broken out of his stupor when he heard Dean’s Baby, as Sam told him the vehicle was named one meeting. He put his book down and watched as Dean got out of his car, in regular blue jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, and grabbed a bunch of bags from the backseat.

He looked at the time and it was nearing two in the afternoon. Dean was very late coming back to work. Castiel tried not to watch his friend, but he was failing miserably and he knew it. He shut his eyes tightly and bowed his head, his guilt eating at him once again.

“Hey, Cas, you all right?” Dean called out, walking up the driveway.

Castiel smiled up at him, although it was a bit forced. “Yes, I’m fine. What are all those bags?” He asked.

“I went to Wal Mart and pretty much bought out all their fake flower things. I wanted to put a couple on each grave,” Dean explained, holding up the bags as he stopped in front of Castiel. “I wanted to give you first pick for Inias’s.”

Castiel felt a lump in his throat and did his best to hold back tears. “Dean, this is so... you’re a very kind man.”

Dean shook his head. “Nah, I’m just doing what anyone else would do. I’ll let you search through these while I go back and lock up my Baby.”

Castiel nodded and kneeled to sift through the bags while Dean did what he needed to.

  
  
**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_ The new groundskeeper is so considerate! Thank you @DeanWins. I’m so happy that every other grave here will be gifted some flowers!  
_ _ [Image of nine pink artificial flowers] _

**Meg @Meg20 replied:** _ Pretty _

**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _ Those are gorgeous! _

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _ Those aren’t as pretty as you *winking face emoji* _

  
  
  
Dean came back and smiled when he saw Castiel sticking the ends of the flowers in the dirt.

“Those look nice,” Dean said.

Castiel grinned up at him. “Yes, they’re lovely.Thanks.”

“It’s not a problem.” He gathered up the bags. “I better start passin’ these out.”

Castiel quickly got to his feet. “I can help,” he said.

“No, no, I got this. It’s my job. Besides, I’d hate to cut into your time with your husband,” Dean said. He patted Castiel’s arm. “Thanks though.”

Once again, Castiel was left to watching Dean walk away. He turned his head back to his husband and ignored how much it hurt.

Dean slipped his headphones on and blasted his playlist, eventually losing himself in the music and letting himself sing along. His parents used to tell him that it was disrespectful to have music on around and near a cemetery, but, truthfully, Dean thinks that whoever's still here just misses music.

Occasionally, he’d look up when he felt someone watching him but every time he looked at Castiel, the man was reading from his book with a very concentrated look on his face.

The next time he looked up, Castiel and his things were gone and that was a sign that it was nearing the end of his shift. He looked at his watch and slumped in relief when he saw he only had thirty minutes left.

When he stood up to see the work he’d done, he smiled to himself.

“I hope y’all like y’all’s flowers,” Dean mumbled.

He packed up his things and left for home, a bit earlier than usual. But he wanted to have a talk with Sam. He opened up his Twitter and posted before checking his notifications and sighing at seeing that he was tagged in Castiel’s post earlier.  
  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ The cemetery is looking a bit more colorful! Please make sure to visit y’all’s family members, who are buried here at Madre Dolorosa! *red heart emoji* _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ You’re so sweet, Deanie Beanie! *smiling face with hearts emoji* _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ Thank you, don’t call me that *smiling face with hearts emoji* _

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _ You gotta big heart, man _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ Awww you flatter me so *smiling face with heart eyes emoji* _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ Ewww stop flirting on the tl *nauseated face emoji* _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ Don’t be jealous of what me and Benny have have, Charles *pleased face emoji* _

**Castiel @CNovak replied:** _ You did such a great thing today, Dean! Can’t wait to see how it turned out tomorrow! _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ Thanks, Cas! _

  
  
  


**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_ The new groundskeeper is so considerate! Thank you @DeanWins. I’m so happy that every other grave here will be gifted some flowers!  
_ _ [Image of nine pink artificial flowers] _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ No problem, man! *smiling face emoji* _

  
  


****************

  
  
“Sammy?” Dean called out when he got home.

“I’m in the kitchen!” Sam called back.

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’re  _ always  _ in the kitchen, you black hole.”

Sam came into view with a cup of instant noodles. “What do you want?” He huffed.

Dean took a deep breath. “I need you to set me up,” he said.

“Set you up to what?”

“On a date. You know more people here, so I just thought you could maybe set me up on a few blind dates.”

Sam stared at him for a moment. Then opened his mouth, then closed it again. He was doing that fish thing. Until finally, he sighed. “Okay. I have a few single friends. I’ll talk you up and see what they say.”

Dean wipes a hand down his face and smiles up at his little brother, although it was a bit forced. “Thanks, man.”

“Yeah,” Sam replied. “But, you know, this won’t help you get over Castiel.

“Set the dates up for next week. I get paid then,” Dean said, ignoring what Sam commented.

“All right.”

Dean went to his room to change and then shower. Sam pulled out his phone and sent a text to Eileen.

  
  
**Sam:  
** _ Babe, we got a bit of a problem  
_ _ I know you’re driving back, but I wanted to give you a heads up  
_ _ Dean asked me to set him up on some dates. He’ll probably ask you the same _

**Eileen:  
** _ Shit _

**Sam:  
** _ My thoughts exactly  
_ _ I’m gonna do what he asks but I don’t see this ending well _

**Eileen:  
** _ Me either. I’m nearly home. We’ll talk more tonight, darling *blowing a kiss emoji* _

**Sam:  
** _ Okay. I love you *face making heart eyes emoji* Drive safe! _

**Eileen:  
** _ I love you too! Don’t eat too much or you’ll be too full for dinner tonight  
_ _ Wait, it’s you. You’re literally NEVER full *face with rolling eyes emoji* _

**Sam:  
** _ Are you making fun of me?? *loudly crying emoji* _

**Eileen:  
** _ No I think it’s sexy *winking face emoji* _

**Sam:  
** _ Then I guess you’ll be my dessert for tonight? *smirking face emoji* _

**Eileen:  
** _ Oh god that was a terrible pick up line. But yes. I’ll see you soon! Xx _

  
  


************

  
  
“I don’t feel like cooking tonight,” Castiel told Crowley as they sat in the living room watching TV.

“Let’s order some food, then.” Crowley pulled out his phone. “Benny’s?”

Castiel huffed softly. “I don’t want Benny’s tonight.”

“Well, there’s only Don Juan’s unless you wanna go to the next town.”

“Who don’t we go out and eat some Chinese food?” Castiel offered. “Yes, let’s do that. I’ll go get ready, my treat!” And he rushed upstairs to look presentable.

Crowley chuckled and sank back into the couch to wait.

  
  
**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_ Trying out the new chinese restaurant with @NotFergus! It’s so good!  
_ _ [Image of a table filled with plates of chinese food: Plate on the bottom left is filled with dumpling; plate on the bottom right is filled with honey walnut shrimp with broccoli; plate on the upper right is filled with chicken lo mein; plate on the upper left is filled with sweet and sour pork] _

**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _ Oooh let’s go there the next time Meg and I can visit! _

**Meg @Meg20 replied:** _ Take more pics! I need to live vicariously *loudly crying emoji* _

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _Why couldn’t we go when I was there?? *unamused face emoji*_ _Just kidding! Next time for sure though_

  
  


**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_ Also, yes, we did try out the new phone booth that’s in the waiting area  
_ _ [Image of Misha Collins and Mark Sheppard posing for pictures in front of a red curtain] _


	13. Filler #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler brought to you by @/keardhyun on Twitter

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ Trying to choose between Casablanca and Gone With the Wind *loudly crying emoji*  
_ _ [Image of a mounted TV with a Hulu Add On showing the options for In The West, Casablanca, and Gone With the Wind] _

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _ Gone With the Wind! _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ Scarlet is so *smiling face with heart eyes emoji* _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ You’ll be preoccupied for about 4 hours with GWtW _

**@CNovak:  
** _ Casablanca _

**@DeanWins:  
** _ I was gonna go for it but I decided that I’d rather watch the Sandlot *grinning face with sweat emoji*  
_ _ But thanks for the rec! _

**@CNovak:  
** _ Any time! _

  
  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ Went with Sandlot *baseball emoji*  
_ _ [Image of the character Benny tossing up a baseball to hit with the character Ham standing behind him to the side as the pitcher] _


	14. 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler brought to you by @/angelsxblue on Twitter!

**2016**

  
Castiel and Inias embraced each other tightly as soon as Castiel passed the baggage claim. They’d been dating for a few months and this was Castiel’s first time flying anywhere, he’d been a wreck waiting for take off but felt at ease once they were in the air.

It was difficult to see Inias with Castiel’s job at the grocery store and Inias’s busy schedule, so he couldn’t miss out on the chance to see his sweetheart just because he was afraid.

“Oh, my god, I missed you,” Inias mumbled into his shoulder as he picked Castiel off the ground. Castiel wouldn’t say it aloud, but Inias’s strength was sexy. He was much too meek to admit that.

“I missed you too. Do you have to go back to work?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah. I gotta finish out the day, but then I’m yours until it’s time for you to fly back. How was it, by the way?” Inias set Castiel down and then picked up the backpack that was tossed down in their excitement. They walked but couldn’t hold hands because Inias was in uniform. Castiel was surprised he even got a public hug, as any form of PDA was unacceptable while in uniform.

“I was extremely nervous waiting to board and then when the plane took off, but being in the sky wasn’t too bad. The view was nice,” Castiel admitted.

“That’s a relief! I was worried.” Caatiel blushed.

“Oh! I met the most wonderful woman on the plane. She sat next to me and distracted me from my nerves. She was on her way to visit her daughter, who she hasn’t seen in a few years due to a falling out. I really hope they work it out.”

“What was her name?” Inias asked.

Castiel stopped in his tracks and tilted his head. “You know… I actually never asked. Huh.” Then they continued walking.

Inias laughed. “You’re telling me you got her whole life story but not her name?” Castiel couldn’t help but giggle alongside him.

“I didn’t even realize!”

They made it to Inias’s truck. He put Castiel’s backpack in the backseat and then opened the passenger door. He liked opening doors for Castiel, although half the time they raced each other because Castiel liked doing the same for Inias.

Inias waited until Castiel buckled in and then pulled him in for a deep kiss in the solitude of the parking lot. Castiel hummed happily, clinging to Inias’s blue uniform jacket. When they pulled apart, Inias kissed his forehead before closing the door and getting in the driver's seat a few seconds later.

Castiel loved him so deeply, his eyes never once left him as they made their way to Inias’s apartment, hand in hand.


	15. July 2020/August 2020

**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ I feel like Dean is kinda avoiding me?  
  
_

**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ Just gotta make it through this last week of July and then I can start dating again... _

  
  
  


**August 2020**

  
  
“So, first week of August, first blind date. How do you feel?” Sam asked as both he and Eileen sat at their dinner table watching Dean get ready.

“I feel kinda confident, y’know? Cas and I are on good terms, I’m distancing myself a bit at work and this Cassie chick seems really cool,” he said, a wide smile on his face. “How do I look?”

“You look nice, man. You coming home tonight?” He felt weird asking that, considering Cassie is his friend from college and he’s not sure if he could look her in the eyes again if she slept with his brother.

“Yeah. Not a one night stand, Sammy,” Dean snorted. I’ll see y’all later tonight!” He said before grabbing his keys and heading out.  
  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ She doesn’t have a Twitter but I’m looking forward to my date with this gorgeous woman! *pleased face emoji*  
_ _ [Image of actress Ebubennem Megalyn Ann Echikunwoke aka Megalyn E.K who plays Cassie Robinson] _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ She’s so pretty! Good luck! *four leaf clover emoji* _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ Have a good time, man! *red heart emoji* _

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _ Let us know how it goes, brother! _  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ He’s… on a date right now and she’s so pretty. I hope it works out for him! _

**Leitsace @NotCassie replied:** _ So then why do I feel so upset? _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ It’s good that he’s dating. Nothing can happen between us and I’m faithful to Inias. So I’m glad he’s dating. _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ I’m so happy for him _

  
  
  
“I had a great time tonight, Dean,” Cassie said when he walked her back to her door. “Maybe we can make this into a regular thing?”

Dean grinned easily. “Love the sound of that,” he replied. They stared at each other for a moment before they met in the middle and closed the gap, sharing their first kiss.

He hadn’t planned on making a move at all, but he’d just clicked so well with Cassie. He liked her, as a friend, and he felt that could grow into something more. He could fall in love with her, eventually.

When Cassie pulled away, she had a curious look in her eyes, catching Dean off guard. 

“What?” He asked.

She studied him for a moment. “Doesn’t seem like your all was in that, no offense. Like your mind was elsewhere,” she said. Then, she smiled softly. “We could just go out as friends.”

Dean looked down, afraid to meet her eyes.

“Hey,” she said, putting her hand on his cheek. He slowly looked up at her. “It’s okay. I hope whoever you’re pining for will come to their senses soon. You’re a terrific guy, and they’d have to be blind not to see that,” she said, smiling fondly at him.

Dean’s shoulders sagged and he leaned into her touch. “He’s... married.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t think you were the type to be into married people,” she said teasingly.

“Well, he’s not legally married or anything. I mean, it’s just... His husband passed a couple of years ago and he’s not looking to date,” Dean explained.

“Maybe he will in time,” Cassie replies after taking in that information.

“I don’t think so. He’s determined to spend every single day of the rest of his life visiting him at the cemetery. And I respect that. But... I can’t hold onto hope that he’ll  _ see _ me. That’s why I asked Sam to set me up on some dates.”

“You wanna forget him.”

Dean shook his head. “No, never. I just want my heart to.”

Cassie pulled him into a tight hug. “The heart wants what it wants. You can try to pull away as much as you want, but I don’t think you actually believe that’ll work, do you?” She asked.

Dean clung to her, shaking his head because he couldn’t say the word aloud. They stood there embracing each other for a long moment before finally pulling away.

“You have my number. Call or text anytime you wanna get together, just as friends or maybe even as another date.”

Dean could kiss her again, but he settled for kissing her forehead. “Thanks, Cassie. Good night.”

“Night.”

He got into his Baby and left for home. He’d had a terrific time with Cassie at the movies and they shared the same sense of humor and she was funny and kind and gorgeous and smart... but she wasn’t Castiel. And Dean hated himself for that.

  
  
  


**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ Cassie’s amazing, so then why am I doing this to myself _

  
  
  
“I’m home,” he said as he walked in. Sam and Eileen were cuddling on the couch while watching a movie Dean didn’t recognize.

“Hey, how’d it go?” Sam asked, immediately sitting up.

“I had an awesome time. She’s real cool. Got a good night kiss, too,” he said proudly. “But I think we’re just gonna stick to bein’ friends.”

Sam relaxed back into the couch.

“She saw right through you, didn’t she?” Eileen asked.

“Pretty much,” Dean admitted. “I’m gonna go lay down, I’m pretty tired.”

“Okay. G’night,” Sam said.

“Night,” Eileen repeated. Once Dean’s door shut, they turned to each other.

“This is either gonna go very bad or very good,” Eileen said.

“There’s a good option?” Sam asked.

She nodded, pulling out her phone and pulling Twitter up. “Last week, Dean and Benny did their usual flirting under Dean’s post, right?” Sam nodded, grimacing at the flirting. “Well, not too long after, Castiel posted that he was with Crowley having dinner and then taking photos together.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with it?”

Eileen rolled her eyes but ruffled his hair affectionately. “Well, everyone knows they hang out a lot, but he’s never once actually posted about it.”

“Well, yeah, but that could just be a coincidence,” Sam replied.

“Castiel doesn’t do coincidences. He thinks about everything. I bet he was trying to rile Dean up after that thing with Benny.”

Sam thought about it for a moment. “It makes sense, it really does. But I’m gonna need a little more proof.”

“I’m sure Dean’s gonna post about his date soon, so let’s wait and see.”

Sure enough, Dean posted. And only five minutes later, so did Castiel. ****

  
  
**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ The date went awesome! *smiling face with sunglasses emoji* _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ What did you do? Classic dinner and a movie? _

**Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _ Movie, dinner at Benny’s, and then a stroll in the park _

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _ Well, they stopped by here for dinner and I was honored to host them. _

  
  


**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_ He tripped and fell in the garden  
_ _ [Image of Misha Collins staring up lovingly at a dirty-faced Mark Sheppard who’s smiling at the camera] _

**Meg @Meg20 replied:** _ Pffffft smooth one, Crowley *face with tears of joy emoji* _

**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _ Ahhh I wish we could’ve been there to see it live *face with tears of joy emoji* _

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _ No recording?? _

**Castiel @CNovak replied:** _ Don’t tease him too much! His face is still all red from the embarrassment _

**Crowley @NotFergus replied:** _ Oh ha ha ha. Glad y’all took some joy in me falling *face with rolling eyes emoji* _

“Holy shit,” Sam laughed. “So then, that means... Castiel actually feels the same way about Dean?”

Eileen nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!”

“Dude, this is huge! We should tell him,” Sam said as he moved to get up. Eileen pulled him back down.

“We can’t!” Eileen protested.

“Why not?”

“Because he won’t believe us and’ll probably try to push himself even further from Castiel. He’s dead set on moving on, so we can’t interfere,” she explained

“But,” Sam sighed. “He’s my brother. And he’s hurting. And I hate seeing him like this.” Eileen held his hand tightly.

“I know, babe. But I have faith it’ll work out.”

Sam decided to trust Eileen. After all, she was right about everything.


	16. August 2020

**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ We haven’t talked much lately. He’s been building something this past week or so _

  
  
“So, tonight, you’re going out with Jo, right? Eileen’s coworker?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean answered as he applied some cologne. “How do I look?”

“Pretty good. What’s the date plan?”

“Six Flags. She’s got season tickets, but I’m paying for everything else, like a gentleman,” Dean said proudly.

“She’s totally gonna swoon,” Sam huffed out a laugh. He watched silently as Dean got ready and he couldn’t help but wish his older brother was going on a date with Castiel. “So, um, how’s Castiel been?”

Dean paused briefly and kept his back to Sam as he answered. “He’s good, I guess. I’ve been so busy with the cemetery that we haven’t talked much.”

“I didn’t know there were so many things to do,” Sam commented casually.

Dean sighed. “I’m workin’ on buildin’ some wooden benches to put all around the property. I’ve been seein’ more people stop by lately.” Dean was so happy to see visitors throughout his shift. They were mostly elderly people who seemed to need help getting in and out of the car as well as help walking to the graves. And even then, they couldn’t stay for too long because there was nowhere to sit.

So now he’s been building benches and will add cushions to the top of them so they’re comfortable. And, maybe once he’s more settled in, he’ll start using his weekends and lunchtime to provide a transportation service to these people, the ones who want to be here but don’t have a ride.

The idea was still in the works, but he’d figure it out in time.

“You know,” Sam said, his voice fond, “I’m so proud to call you my brother.”

Dean finally turned and smiled at him. “Thanks, Sammy.” He grabbed his keys. “I shouldn’t be back too late. Hopefully in time for dinner.”

“Oh, hey, before you go. I’ve been seeing Castiel post about Crowley. Do you know who he is?” Sam asked, wanting to get Dean’s thoughts on it.

“Yeah, he’s Cas’s best friend. They always spend time together,” he said. He’d seen Castiel posting a bit more about Crowley lately, but it never struck him as odd. They were best friends in the same way he and Benny were. He was just glad Castiel had a friend around him, to get his mind off of things.

“Oh, okay. They’re not.. goin’ out or anything?”

“I don’t think so. They’re just like me and Benny. But Cas isn’t the kinda guy to flirt around like I am,” Dean explained. “Why?”

“I was just asking. I’d never seen Castiel post about anyone other than Inias or Gabe, so I was just curious if you knew anythin’.”

“All right. Well, I’m off! See ya, Sammy!” Dean called out.

“Okay. Have fun!” Sam called out just before the door closed behind Dean. He sighed to himself. As much as he wished Dean was with Castiel, he couldn’t deny that he was happy to see his brother dating again.

  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ Excited to spend today with @JoSweetheart *red heart emoji*  
_ _ [Image of Jo Harvelle smiling at someone off screen while Dean smiles at her in the background] _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ How are you so lucky with gorgeous women?? *pleading face* _

**Eileen @EileenLeahy replied:** _ Have fun, you two! Can’t wait to hear all about your date later *red heart emoji* _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ Remember, Six Flags has children running around so dial back the PDS! *four leaf clover emoji* _

**Benny @Benny Lafitte replied:** _ Good luck! *bouquet emoji* _

**Jo Harvelle @JoSweetheart replied:** _ Yeah, yeah, I’m excited too, dork! *face with rolling eyes emoji* *pleased face emoji* *two hearts emoji* _

  
  
**_Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:_ **

_ Going for a late breakfast with @NotFergus!  
_ _ [Image of Misha Collins standing in front of a smiling Mark Sheppard, both are looking at the camera] _

**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _ Meg and I were thinking about heading down that way soon! Maybe in time for Christmas and New Years! _

**Meg @Meg20 replied:** _ Text us soon so we can plan something out, Clarence *red heart emoji* _

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _ He’s so lucky to get all this time with you *face with steam from nose emoji* But I’m glad y’all are having fun, baby bro! *two hearts emoji* _

  
  
  
Castiel set his phone down on the diner table and sighed.

“What’s the matter?” Crowley asked, looking up from his menu. “Dean still hasn’t taken the bait yet?”

Castiel’s head snapped up to look at Crowley. “What are you talking about?”

Crowley rolled his eyes, but the small smile on his face showed he wasn’t actually angry with Castiel. “Look, I know what you’re doing on Twitter and that’s fine. I don’t mind it. But maybe respect me enough to just be honest about it, yeah?”

Castiel looked down guiltily. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not mad. It’s all right. Can you just tell me why you’re doing this?”

Castiel shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. I-I see that he’s... going on dates and I get this sinking feeling in my stomach.”

“So, you’re jealous?” Crowley asked.

“No, I don’t like Dean that way,” Castiel dismissed.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll admit that he’s extremely attractive and a wonderful person, but I’m married.”

Crowley reached over and put his hand on Castiel’s. “Look. I think you do like Dean that way and I think that it’s okay.”

“But Inias...” Castiel trails off, unable to finish his sentence.

“I think Inias is enjoying his place in Heaven, don’t you?” Castiel nodded. “So, then why can’t you enjoy your place on Earth? You’re not even thirty yet. You’re incredibly young and you deserve to live out your life.”

Castiel didn’t know what to say. Ever since Inias passed, Crowley hardly ever spoke to him about it. He was there for Castiel to talk and cry to, to spend time with when he needed a friend, and as a life partner. But hearing him say that it was okay to live his life, it felt odd.

“The choice is always yours. I’ll respect whatever decision you make, even if I don’t agree,” Crowley assured him. Then he pulled his hand away and went back to his menu. The conversation was over, just like that.

Castiel could hear his heart pounding between his ears. He was anxious but mostly scared. The only thing he knew was Inias.

He couldn’t just move on.

  
  
  
**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ I have so much to think about... _

  
  
  
  
  
“Dude, your friend Charlie is hot!” Job exclaimed as they sat eating their lunch under an umbrella.

Dean snorted, wiping his fingers on his napkin. “I could give you her number if you want,” Dean said.

Jo raised her brow. “Aren’t we the ones on a date?”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah and I’ve had an awesome time, but I’m also her wingman 24/7. If you like her, I’m talkin’ her up.”

Jo let out a loud laugh. “Man, you are such a bro!”

Dean took a couple of bows. “Thank you, thank you. I try.”

“You’re really not upset about it?”

“Nope,” Dean said, eating a few of his fries.

Jo stared at him for a moment and Dean avoided making eye contact. “You like someone else,” she stated.

Dean closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, just asking anyone who was listening ‘Why?’. “Am I just made of glass or something?!” He asked exasperatedly. 

“Woman are good at seein’ that kinda stuff.” Jo picked up her burger and took a huge bite, not at all worried about trying to look “lady-like” and Dean loved that.

“You’re awesome, you know that?”

“I do. But why do you say that?” Jo asked.

“You’re tough and cool, and like all the same shit I do, and you’re hilarious and fun. You’re basically perfect for me,” Dean explained.

“But that doesn’t mean anything.” Dean raised a brow. “Who wants someone who matches too good with themselves? No one wants perfect.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Well, duh.” And Dean laughed because that’s exactly what he expected from her. “So tell me about this person.”

“Castiel is... amazing. He’s quiet, but his actions are so loud. He’s so kind. He’ll do anything to make someone smile, even a little. He’s also extremely loyal. He's funny in his own awkward way, but he’s also so tortured. He’s been through a lot.”

“How come you haven’t gone for it?” Jo questioned.

“He’s loyal to his husband, who passed a couple of years ago.”

“Oh, man. Ouch,” she winced. “That must be hard to deal with, for both of you.”

“That’s why I decided to go on dates,” Dean sighed before taking a sip of his tea.

“I doubt that’s gonna work, Dean.”

“My last date also told me that.”

“C’mon, let’s finish up and go on some more rides,” Jo, thankfully, says. Dean smiled at her gratefully.  
  
  
  


**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ My father apparently was a glassmaker *face with rolling eyes emoji* _

  
  
**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ @JoSweetheart is literally one of the best people I’ve ever met *smiling face with heart eyes emoji*  
_ _ [Image of Jensen Ackles with his arms around Alona Tal, both are grinning at the camera] _

**Jo Harvelle @JoSweetheart replied:** _ You’re such a softie *face blowing a kiss emoji* _

  
  
**Dean:  
** _ Hey! _

**Charlie:  
** _ Dude, aren’t you on a date?? Why tf are you texting me? _

**Dean:  
** _ Because she thinks you’re hot and wants your number _

**Charlie:  
** _ Oh my god _

**Dean:  
** _ Yeah so I’m gonna give it to her, if that’s cool?? _

**Charlie:  
** _ Dude why?? You’re literally on a date with her!! _

**Dean:  
** _ Because she and I are just staying friends and I’m always your wingman *pleased face emoji* _

**Charlie:  
** _ Then if you’re okay with it and it won’t come between us, then sure! _

**Dean:** _  
Sweet! She’ll text you later, after our date *face with tears of joy emoji* _

**Charlie:  
** _ This is so weird *face with tears of joy emoji* But okay *face with tears of joy emoji*  
_ _ I love you!! _

**Dean:  
** _ I love you too *red heart emoji* _


	17. 2016

**2016**

  
Castiel was working the closing shift at the grocery store, chatting with his coworker and texting Inias between customers and tasks. Castiel felt lucky that Inias was still going to school for his job, before getting assigned to a boat that could station him anywhere in the world. It was easy to see him now, just get time off and fly there within the day. But if he got stationed in another country… it was going to be much more difficult.

His coworker was putting away items customers decided not to buy while he stayed at the registers. It was nearing closing time so he didn’t have to worry about too many people coming in.

He checked his phone and beamed at the message before frowning slightly. Inias missed him terribly. He wanted Castiel to be with him.

Without hesitating, Castiel replied and didn’t regret it for a single moment. Not now, and he was positive he never would.

**Inias:  
** _ I miss you so damn much  
_ _ I wish you could be near me always _

**Castiel:  
** _ Let’s get married _

**Inias:  
** _ You mean that? Are you sure? _

**Castiel:  
** _ Have you ever known me to say anything I didn’t mean? *red heart emoji* _

**Inias:  
** _ I love you so much, sweetheart *red heart emoji* _

**Castiel:  
** _ And I love you, darling, always  
_ _ Had to ask you on our first date and propose to you. I guess I’ll just always have to be first *face with tears of joy emoji* _

  
  
Castiel felt his heart racing but he also felt the calmest he had in a while. Throughout the rest of the shift, they planned their small wedding.

A tiny gathering of their closest family members, and the people they’ve chosen to stand next to them as they said their vows. It was going to be perfect, so long as Inias was there.

He’d known Inias since they met in high school. They instantly clicked and Castiel was the one who had to ask him out on a date since INias would backpedal every time. It was adorable until Castiel was done waiting and he did it himself. The look on Inias’s face was everything.

Being able to spend the rest of his life with his best friend, that was a given. There was nothing to be nervous about. Nothing to be scared of. No getting cold feet. Because he was sure. Positive. Nothing about waking up and calling Inias his husband could ever scare him.


	18. August 2020

“I had a great time today, Dean,” Jo said when he dropped her off at her front door.

“Me, too. Let’s get together again.” They hugged each other tightly.

“Definitely. Is it all right if I give you a good night kiss?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course. I was about to ask you actually.”

They pulled back slightly and gave each other a shy smile before leaning in and pressing their lips together. It was chaste, innocent.

When they separated, Dean kissed her forehead. “Charlie’s good people. I think y’all’ll like each other a lot.”

Jo giggled. “Yeah, I think so, too. Be careful on the way home, yeah?”

“Always.”

Jo went inside and Dean got in his car and started on his way.

On his way through San Antonio, Dean passed one of the bigger theaters and saw they were doing a screening of The Wizard of Oz, the sing-along edition. He pulled into the parking lot, thankful that it wasn’t super busy out.

He checked his watch and did the math. He should have time to watch the movie and then get home just before dinner time.

Dean smiled to himself as he climbed out of the car, bought a ticket just before they sold out, and then slipped into the theater. He wasn’t the type to spend money at the theaters aside from the ticket unless he was on a date, so he just found a good spot in the upper corner and waited excitedly until the movie started.

  
  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_Saw this classic was playing and had to stop. I’m off to somewhere over the rainbow for now *rainbow emoji* (it’s the sing along btw *please face emoji*)  
_ _[Image of the title card for The Wizard of Oz large in front of a dark room where the heads of people are barely visible]_

 **Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _You’re a sucker for this musical *eyes emoji*_

 **Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _We used to watch it together all the time back in high school! We should do that again soon, brother_

 **Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _Remember that time you were the Scarecrow for Halloween, I was Glina, Benny was the Tin Man and Sam was the Wizard! Man, that feels like forever ago!_

 **Eileen @EileenLeahy replied:** _I haven’t seen that movie in so long! We should watch it again soon! *red heart emoji*_

  
  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_He’s watching The Wizard of Oz with his date… Inias and I used to watch it all the time._

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _I wish I’d known it was playing in theaters. It would’ve been awesome to see it on the big screen_

 **Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _Part of me also wishes that Dean and I could’ve seen it together_

 **Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _It’s getting difficult to deny how attracted I am to him…_

  
  
  


**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_I wish I was watching this with someone, preferably Cas..._

  
  
  
Dean came home just before Sam and Eileen sat down for dinner.

“Hey, man!” Sam said. “How was the date?”

Dean made himself a plate and then sat down at the table with his family. “Man, Jo’s real awesome! Y’all are gonna like her when you meet her,” he said.

Sam and Eileen shared a look.

“You want us to meet her already?” Sam asked.

“What? Oh! No, dude, not through me. She and Charlie are talkin’ now, so maybe then.”

“I... don’t get it,” Eileen said.

“At the park, Jo told me Charlie was hot so I gave her Charlie’s number. They’re probably texting right now. Or already planning on moving in together,” Dean explained, chuckling.

“You... set them up? While y’all were on a date?” Sam questioned. “That’s weird, dude.”

“Definitely,” Dean said. “But, hey. As long as I get to see my girl happy, then I’m good.” Then he shrugged and started digging into his dinner.

“You have the strangest dates,” Sam laughed. And everything was okay.

  
  
**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_I had the best time tonight *pleased face emoji*_

**Jo Harvelle @JoSweetheart replied:** _Today was awesome! You’re the best *winking emoji* *two hearts emoji*_

 **Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _I also had a terrific day *pleased face emoji* Thanks *face blowing a kiss emoji*_

 **Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _You’re mushy_

  
  
Castiel laid in bed that night with his face in his pillow, thinking about what Crowley said. He knew Inias would want him to be happy, but his heart just couldn’t accept it. He’d made an oath to his husband when they got married and promised him that not even death could do them part.

But he hadn’t expected Dean, coming in like a hurricane with that dazzling smile and heartwarming laughter. More importantly, he hadn’t expected his being. Who he was as a person, so caring, and funny, and free-spirited, and loving, and just... _him_.

Castiel sobbed apologies into his pillow until his head hurt and his throat was raw.

_I’m so sorry._


	19. August 2020

“Don’t you think it’s weird that you’ve three dates in three days? Isn’t that a bit much?” Eileen asked. Sam was currently working at the diner, so Eileen had to play the sibling role.

Dean shrugged. “I’m gonna be real busy next week,” he replied.

“Are you sure you’re just not trying to get ‘em out of the way?”

Dean hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. “No. I’m just gonna be busy with a project at work.” They both knew she didn’t really believe that at least not entirely.

“Okay. Well, then,” Eileen said, smiling softly, “What are y’all gonna be doing?”

“We wanted something easy-going so we’ll be gettin’ some food and headin’ to the park to take a long walk and probably even play on the jungle gym,” he chuckled.

“You’re such a kid!” Eileen smacked his arm lightly.

“I’m never growin’ up!” He grinned. “And she seems to like that about me.” He grabbed his keys and stood up.

“Have fun.”

Dean kissed her forehead. “I will.” He left and shut the door behind him.  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ Damn, I’m a lucky guy! Psyched for my date with Lisa tonight *two party popper emojis*  
_ _ [Image of Lisa Braedon smiling at someone off screen] _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ “Psyched”? *man facepalming: light skin tone* _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ I agree with Sam, Dean Beanie *two hearts emoji* Not your best _

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _ Get back to work, Sam or I’ll take your phone and take selfies on it… again. _

**Jo Harvelle @JoSweetheart replied:** _ Let us know how it goes! She’s so pretty oh my god! *red heart emoji* _

  
  
  
“So, what’ll it be?” Dean asked as they were waiting in line at Whataburger.

“I think I’m gonna go with my usual,” Lisa said, a proud grin on her face.

“And that is?”

“The honey-bbq chicken strip sandwich.”

Dean stared at her for a moment. “Yeah, I think this is gonna work out,” he said. “That’s my usual, too!”

Lisa blushed and then pushed him away playfully. “No shit? You’re not just sayin’ that because I am?”

Dean laughed. “Nope! Cross my heart, that’s my usual.” He put his arm around her shoulder as they moved up in line.

“Dean?” A familiar voice asked from behind him. Dean took his arm off Lisa’s shoulder as he turned around.

“Cas! Hey, man. How’s it goin’?” Dean asked, genuinely happy to see Castiel somewhere other than in the cemetery. There was a short man with him, Crowley. He recognized him from Castiel’s Twitter posts.

“I’m well. And you?” Castiel asked, a shy smile on his face.

“Oh, dude, I’m awesome right now. This is my date, Lisa. Lisa, this is my friend Castiel.” Dean introduced them.

Lisa stuck her hand out. “It’s so nice to meet you, Castiel.”

Castiel shook her hand. “And you as well. This is my friend Crowley,” he said, smiling at his friend.

Dean stuck out his hand and shook Crowley’s. “It’s great to meet ‘ya, man. I’m so glad Cas has a friend like you,” Dean said.

“Ah, yes. Castiel and I go way back. It’s great to meet you, too.” All four of them smiled at each other a bit awkwardly for a moment before Dean and Lisa were called next in line.

“Well, we’ll be seein’ y’all,” Dean said. He and Lisa turned away, ordered their food, and took a seat near a window while they waited after getting their drinks.

They made idle conversation, Dean trying his best to keep his focus on Lisa when Castiel was in the same building... it was difficult for him. He raised a brow when Lisa looked over his shoulder and then smiled politely.

“You good?” He asked.

Lisa nodded. “Yeah. Um, I just kinda caught your friend staring at you,” she said after a while.

“Cas?” She nodded. “Well, we don’t really see each other too often, so that’s probably why,” Dean reasoned.

She shrugged, a playful smile on her lips. “Well, he actually blushed when I caught him staring and quickly looked away. It was... kinda cute.”

Dean tilted his head a bit and wanted to ask her more of what she meant, but then their food was being delivered and all other thoughts went out of his head as soon as he saw it. Lisa seemed to have the same thought because she kept her eyes on her sandwich. They thanked the employee, got their condiments, and started digging in.

  
  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ Isn’t she beautiful? *loudly crying face*  
_ _ [Image of Whataburger’s Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich, which consists of three chicken strips topped with cheese and BBQ sauce between two slices of Texas toast, with a side of fries sitting on top of yellow wrapping paper] _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ Dude, bring me something on your way home later! _

  
  
  
Dean laughed at his brother’s comment and showed it to Lisa, who giggled.

“Hey, order him something and we can just take it to him as soon as we finish our food,” she said.

“What about the park?”

“Well, we can always go after,” she assured him.

Dean looked at her like she hung the moon for thinking about Sam. He took a smaller bite of his sandwich, purposefully getting the honey bbq sauce all over his lips before leaning over and kissing her messily on the cheek. “You’re amazing!”

She laughed and pushed him away. “You’re such a dork,” she giggled. She wiped her cheek with a napkin. “Next time kiss me on the lips.” She winked.

Dean grinned easily. “You got it,” he said. “I’ll go order Sammy his usual. Be right back!”

He caught Castiel’s eye when he got out of his seat and walked towards the counter. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and smiled widely at Castiel, who weakly returned it. Dean frowned a little. He wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he didn’t want to butt into the conversation he was having with Crowley, so he left it.

He ordered Sam's food.

  
  


***************

  
  
Castiel felt like such an asshole for just barely paying attention to Crowley. All he could focus on was the way Dean kissed Lisa’s cheek, and he couldn’t stop himself from wishing that was him.

Dean was going on dates after Castiel had placed that wall between them. He didn’t have a right to get jealous, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Do you want to leave?” Crowley asked.

“Please. I’m sorry,” he said. Crowley shook his head, smiling at him.

“No need to be sorry. I’ll go get us some to-go bags and we can head back to your place.”

“You’re the best.”

“I know,” Crowley said, with a wink. He got up and went to the counter when Dean was placing his order. The two smiled politely at each other.

“Hey, is Cas doin’ okay? He looked a bit... upset.”

Crowley raised his brows a bit in surprise. “Yes, he’s fine. He just isn’t too fond of crowded places, so we’re going to head back home.”

Dean nodded along, taking in the information. “Oh, okay. Well, if y’all ever needing anything, just let me know! I still owe him for those pies,” Dean said. “Wouldn’t let me pay him, but I did offer my handyman services.”

“He’s very kindhearted. He wouldn’t let you pay. But he has been talking about getting an arbor for his garden. Maybe you could talk to him about that? Maybe install it for him,” Crowley suggested. He wasn’t the type to play matchmaker, and that wasn’t really what he was doing here, but it wouldn’t hurt if they spent a little more time together. Maybe Castiel would brighten up a bit.

Dean’s face lit up. “Yeah, that sounds great! Just tell him to let me know. I better get back to my date now. I’ll see ‘ya!”

“Bye,” Crowley said. He watched Dean walk away, catching Castiel’s curious gaze for a moment before getting their to-go bags.

“What was that about?” Castiel asked as soon as Crowley sat down.

“Not even going to try to pretend to be uninterested?”

“No.”

“He asked if you were okay because you seemed upset. Then I told him about you thinking about getting an arbor for your garden and maybe he’d help you install it. He happily agreed,” Crowley explained.

Castiel blushed. “You shouldn’t have told him about that.”

“He said something about paying you back for that pie. He seemed more than willing to do it, so I thought you could use the help setting it up.”

Castiel huffed. “ _ You _ can just help me.”

“I don’t sweat any more than I have to,” Crowley replied easily.

“That must be difficult in Texas.”

“Not as much as you would think.” They grinned at each other and packed their food away.

  
  
**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ Just caught Dean in the middle of a date. Why is he so cute on a date? Kissing her cheek with a messy mouth just to make her laugh. That’s so cute *angry face emoji* _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ She caught me staring earlier though, that’s so embarrassing _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ And then Crowley invited Dean to work at my home *loudly crying emoji* _

  
  
  
  
“Lisa, I gotta tell you. This’s been the best date I’ve been on in a while,” Dean said. They were sitting on the swings, the street light just barely enough to see each other.

“Yeah?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Dean answered. “I’ve been... kinda lost and strugglin’ lately, but today’s just really been what I needed.”

“What’s been on your mind?”

Dean whistled. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about that,” he chuckled. “Or, I guess, maybe we should.”

“Is it about the fact that you like someone else?” Lisa asked. She didn’t at all sound or look like she was upset. More like she felt kinda bad for him. Dean thought that was appropriate.

“I thought I’d finally hid it pretty good since you’d been the first date to not call me out on it, but I guess I spoke too soon,” he laughed. “But yeah.”

“Is it Castiel?”

“How could you possibly know that?” Dean was genuinely curious.

“Because the whole time you were talkin’ with his friend, your eyes were on him when he wasn’t lookin’,” she explained. “Just like his were on you when you weren’t lookin’.” That last part caught him off guard.

“What do you mean by that?”

Lisa laughed. “I’m sayin’ that maybe the feeling’s mutual. I think he likes you as much as you like him. Unless that wasn’t the problem.”

“He and I  _ can’t _ ,” Dean said. “He’s... faithful to his husband.”

“Yeah, I noticed the ring. I thought Crowley was his husband until he called him his best friend.”

“His husband passed a few years ago. I told you about my job at the cemetery, right?” Lisa nodded. “His husband is buried in the same one. We end up seein’ each other a whole lot.”

“You feel guilty,” Lisa realized.

“Yep,” he sighed. “He knows, I think, about how I feel. He asked me a while ago what I wanted from him, the night before we seemed to have a bit of eye magic between us and I think it scared ‘im, and I realized then that he’s always going to be faithful to Inias.”

“And that’s why you had the dates set up,” Lisa added. Dean nodded again. “That’s so sad.” And Dean was shocked that Lisa did sound upset about it.

“You okay?” He asked when he heard her sniffle.

“Yeah, I’m just... an emotional person. He really loves his husband, but I can see that he  _ longs _ for you.”

Dean snorted. “Damn, I’m in my own soap opera, aren’t I?”

Lisa laughed, “you really are.” They went back to swinging.

Later, when he was dropping her off at her front door, he held her hands tightly.

“I know that... that my whole situation is messy. But I’d really be honored to take you out on another date if that’s all right?” He asked.

She looked into his eyes for a moment before smiling softly. “I’d love that. How about we go see a movie this Tuesday, early in the morning so we can have it all to ourselves?”

Dean raised a brow. “You suggesting I play hooky from my job?”

Lisa shrugged. “I promise you’ll be back after lunchtime.”

“Well, twist my arm, but okay.”

Lisa stepped forward and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Dean. Text me when you’re home,” she said.

“I will.” Dean waited until she went inside before walking back to his car and starting on his way home.

He really liked Lisa.

  
  
  


**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:**

_ I think I just had the best date ever, y’all *pleased face emoji* _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ Dean Winchester? Being too soft? So openly? On the tl? *nauseated face emoji* _

**Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _ Happy for you, brother! _

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _ Awesome! Text me all about it soo *winking emoji* _

**Eileen @EileenLeahy replied:** _ Can’t wait to hear about it *two two hearts emoji* _

**Jo Harvelle @JoSweetheart replied:** _ Wow, you’re even mushier than you were with me! *face with tears of joy emoji* But I’m so happy for you! *two hearts emoji* _

  
  
  


**Naed @hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ Lisa was so damn amazing *smiling face with heart eyes emoji* _

**Naed @Hehenaed replied:** _ But seeing Cas in the middle of the date was kinda awkward… _

**Naed @hehenaed replied:** _ BUT I am getting a second date in a couple of days *pleased face emoji* _

**Naed @Hehenaed replied:** _ I’ll be missing time pining over him thought since its a work morning *pleading face emoji* I guess I could use a break _

  
  
  
  


“So it went awesome?” Sam asked as soon as Dean took a step inside.

“It was fuckin’ amazing, dude. She’s awesome! We’re going on a second date Tuesday morning,” he said proudly.

“Nice! So... she didn’t see right through you?” He asked.

“No, she totally did. But I think she could also tell I was sincere in wanting to move on.”

“She seems really sweet,” Eileen said.

“She is. When I told her about the situation, she actually started crying’ a little bit.”

Sam patted his shoulder. “I’m glad you had fun, man.”

“Yeah. Oh, we ran into Cas and Crowley at Whataburger. Crowley seems like an awesome dude. He mentioned Cas was thinking about an arbor for his garden so I think I’m gonna look into that tonight. See what I can do,” he explained.

“Is that a good idea?” Eileen hesitated.

“I wanna pay him back for those pies. And maybe I’d feel less guilty, y’know? It’s not about getting close to him. He’s still my friend,” Dean replied. “It’s okay. I know what I’m doin’.”

“Okay. We believe in you,” Sam said.

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower and then lay down. Night!” He said. 

“Night!”

Once Dean was showered and bundled up in his blankets because he kept the room colder than a witch’s tit, he looked online for what supplies he’d need to build that arbor himself.

He wrote everything down, put his phone down, and then fell asleep easily. He was finally starting to feel better about everything.


	20. August 2020

Dean was a bit late to work the next morning after having to stop at the mini Home Depot they had in town for his supplies, and they didn’t open until nine. He was still working on those benches but he figured he could knock this arbor out of the way and then install it for Castiel soon. Hopefully, tomorrow after work.

That entire morning, he worked on building one of the most important projects he’s ever taken up.

By lunchtime, he was nearly finished. He decided to forgo his lunch by another hour and just complete it. Once he was invested in a project, he barely wanted to step away. It gave him a reprieve from the weight on his shoulders. He could just focus on the numbers and cutting and hammering (or drilling). He felt  _ happy _ while he was building.

Dean didn’t even notice Castiel come up to him with his bag in his hand until he spoke, “You’re not going to lunch? It’s already almost one.”

Dean looked up and grinned at Castiel.

“What’re you building?” He asked.

“Great timing, Cas! I just finished. This is one of those arbors for you,” he said.

“For... me?”

“Yeah! Let me stand it up.” With a loud grunt, Dean had it standing upright and took in its glory. He felt proud.

“Dean, y—you didn’t have to do this...” Castiel said.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I had fun! Unless... you don’t like this style, do you?” Dean looked down. “I should’ve asked for your preference instead of just assumin'. I’m sorry, man.” He felt terrible. After all, it was Castiel’s garden. He knows what would fit best.

“No, no! Dean, I love it! I just meant that you didn’t have to spend any time or money building this,” Castiel assured him, his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Like I said, I was happy to do it. Crowley mentioned you would need help putting it up in your place, so I’ll use Sam’s truck tomorrow and we can get it done then. Is that okay?”

Castiel smiled shyly. “Yes, that’s okay.” They stood there staring at each other for a moment before Castiel looked away and reached into his bag. “I made an extra sandwich today. I was running a bit late so I wasn’t able to catch you before lunch, but it looks like I made it.”

Dean took the sandwich. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

“Would you like to have lunch with me?” Castiel asked.

Feeling better about everything because of Lisa, Dean nodded and smiled. “Yeah, that’d be awesome.”

They say down on Castiel’s bench and are their lunch in comfortable silence. Dean didn’t feel so guilty anymore.

“I saw that you saw The Wizard of Oz on your date the other day,” Castiel said when they finished.

“No, I watched it by myself. I was comin’ home from my date and saw it when I passed the theaters,” Dean said. “It was awesome. You would’ve loved it! Everyone in the theater was singing’ along to it; I felt like I belonged, y’know? Oh! And there were little girls dressed like Dorothy, too! They were so precious.”

“I should keep track of when they’re showing it around here. It sounds like a lot of fun. I wish I could’ve gone,” Castiel said as he messed with a thread on his pants.

After a beat of silence, Dean spoke, “I wish you could’ve, too.” And he truly meant it. He wished Castiel was sitting right next to him that whole time. All the time, even.

“Maybe next time,” Castiel said, catching Dean off guard. Dean glanced at Inias’s headstone and felt guilty all over again.

“Um, yeah. Next time, man,” he said, patting Castiel’s shoulder.

“So, I’ve noticed you’ve been building things for the last week or so. I’ve been kind of curious. Mind if I ask what you’re building?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah! I’ve been building benches. I wanna place them around the cemetery because I’ve noticed the older people who come here can’t stay that long because there’s no place for them to sit,” Dean explained.

Castiel stared at Dean for a moment.

“What?” Dean asked.

Castiel put a hand on Dean’s shoulder and squeezed almost affectionately. “You are... a _good_ man, Dean Winchester.”

Dean blushed, clearing his throat before he spoke. “I’m just doin’ what any other person would do.” Compliments were hard for him to accept, especially from Castiel.

“If that’s true, then someone else would’ve already done it. Just take the compliment,” Castiel laughed softly.

Dean failed to bite back a smile and laughed with Castiel. “All right, fine. Thank you, Cas.” Dream leaned back on the bench. “You know, it feels nice to relax out here. It’s a nice day today.”

Castiel hummed. “Yes, I agree. Some days, it’s unbearably hot, but there’s a nice breeze.”

“A nap sounds amazing,” Dean yawned.

“You’re more than welcome to take a nap on here.”

“No, I shouldn’t. I’ll just be sluggish when I wake up. Thanks though.”

“Of course,” Castiel replied.

Dean looked down and saw that their hands were so close to touching. He just wanted to reach over and hold it tightly, but he pulled his hand further away instead. They sat in a slightly tense silence for the rest of Dean’s lunch break.

They didn’t talk the rest of his shift. Neither was sure how they felt about it.

  
  
**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ He looks kinda precious when he’s sleepy *pleading face emoji* _

  
  
**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ Lunch got kinda awkward at the end there *upside down face emoji* _

  
  
**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ Crowley told him that I was thinking about getting an arbor for my garden and asked him to help me put it up. But he MADE one for me and it’s gorgeous *loudly crying emoji* Why is he so kind? _

  
  
**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ I’m excited to see Lisa tomorrow morning *please face emoji* I think I can see myself making it official with her _


	21. August 2020

The next morning, Dean let Sam take Baby to his classes and then work since he needed the truck later for the arbor. Sam certainly didn’t mind.

He picked up Lisa around nine and they headed to the Mayan theater to see what was playing. 

“Um, there’s this movie with Seth Rogen?” Lisa suggested.

Dean shrugged. “He’s kinda funny.” He bought the tickets and they went inside. He should’ve checked what movies were playing, but he’d been too caught up with learning how to build an arbor. 

He hoped it was a good movie.

As they were watching, Dean felt his phone vibrate. He hoped today was the day Rufus decided to check-in. He pulled it out and was happily surprised to see a message from Castiel.

  
  
  
**@CNovak:  
** _ Hello, Dean! I just wanted to say thank you again for helping me with the arbor! I’d love to make a special dinner tonight. We’re going to be pretty hungry after setting it up. What do you enjoy? _

  
  
He could stop himself from smiling. Castiel was the kindest person he knew, always doing things for people because he genuinely wanted to and wanted and expected nothing in return. It wasn’t something seen every day. Especially in someone who’d gone through a great loss.

“Everything okay?” Lisa asked.

Dean put his phone away and smiled at her. “Yeah, I just got a message from Cas. I’m helping him with a thing later.”

“It’s not hard bein’ friends with how you feel?” Lisa asked.

Dean shrugged. “Sometimes. But I’d rather have ‘im as a friend than not have him in my life at all,” he said. “I never thought that’d be something I say. I was mostly just a one-night stand guy, you know?” Lisa nodded. “I drove all over the US and I was fine with that, but then he walked into my life and it’s all confusin’. But that’s the one thing I’m positive about. I don’t mind not being able to be with him if it meant he was still in my life.”

Lisa put her hand on his. “Dean, I really think you should give it a shot.”

“But I just said-“

“I know what you said,'' she interrupted gently, “but... you’re hurtin’ yourself. And, honestly, I think he does return your feelings,” she explained, smiling warmly.

“But I  _ want _ to move on.”

“That’s what your heart wants?” Dean couldn’t answer that. “It wants what it wants.”

“I’m so damn transparent,” Dean scoffed.

“Kinda, yeah. But it’s adorable. How about we finish this date, you take me home, and we stay friends?”

Dean leaned over and kissed her forehead. “I’d love to stay friends with you.”

The lights dimmed and they held hands as they watched the movie, Lisa’s head resting on his shoulder and his thumb stroking the back of her hand.

It was... romantic. And he had really hoped this would work out between them, but he also couldn’t drag Lisa into his mess. It was clear to him now that he would have to move past his feelings for Castiel all on his own. Running into another relationship to do that was not the way he should’ve chosen to handle the situation, but he gained three new amazing friends out of it all.

All in all, the situation could’ve gotten a whole lot messier. He felt lucky.

After the movie, which they liked, they drove back home and sang along to a few of the songs they caught on the radio between talking.

Lisa didn’t let Dean walk her to her front door this time, but she did lean over and kiss the corner of his mouth. He smiled.

“Good luck with Cas,” Lisa said. “I think-I  _ really _ do think it’ll work out.”

“I’m not too sure what I wanna do,” he admitted. “But thanks, you know, for believin’ in me.”

“Yeah.” They shared another smile and she climbed out of the truck. Dean stayed until she went inside and then he drove back to the apartment for a quick lunch and to switch into his uniform.

  
  
  


**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:**

_ Well then *upside down face emoji* At least I made awesome friends. I gotta handle myself before I can even think about dating anyone. _

  
  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ I sent him a message and he looked at it but he hasn’t answered back _

**Leitsac @Not Cassie replied:** _ I feel kinda hurt? It’s not a big deal. He’s probably just busy at work. _

  
  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:**

_ Okay, scratch that. He isn’t here today. _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ I hope he’s okay _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ I wonder if he’s sick? Maybe I should make him some soup _

**Leitsac @NotCassie replied:** _ Cemetery feels a bit lonelier today _

  
  
  
Castiel was reading  _ Wise Blood _ to Inias when he heard a car door slam. Dean was coming over in his uniform. Castiel enjoyed the way Dean looked in that uniform. Looking at his face and demeanor, he didn’t think Dean looked sick at all.

“Hey, Cas!” Dean greeted him when he got closer.

“Hello, Dean. Is everything all right?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You weren’t here. I thought you were perhaps sick,” Castiel explained. “You’re feeling okay?”

Dean smiled. “Yeah, man. I’m fine. I just took the morning off,” he said. “Are  _ you _ okay?”

“Yes, I’m good. It’s a bit hot out today though.”

“Yeah, I’m kinda regrettin’ my decision to wear this,'' Dean laughed. Castiel seemed to light up a bit at the sound of Dean’s laughter. “So, I realized on the way here that I didn’t answer your message, I’m sorry about that. I’m not very picky when it comes to food, so whatever you like making, I’m happy with that.”

Castiel smiled. “Burgers good?”

“Well, you’ll never catch me turnin’ down a burger,” Dean replied. “I’m gonna go clock in.”

“Okay.” Castiel watches Dean walk away for a moment before going back to reading to Inias. He found he wasn’t feeling as guilty as he was before.

  
  
  


**[The Family Group Chat]**

**  
Dean:  
** _ Went on a second date with Lisa this morning but we decided it was better to stay friends.  
_ _ I also wanna announce that I’m not gonna be going on any more dates, so yep. Have a good day! _

**Sam:  
** _ You’re not seriously just gonna drop that here and then bounce, are you? _

**Dean:  
** _ If y’all have any problems, please file a complaint and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible _

**Sam:  
** _ DEAN _

**Dean:  
** _ *man running emoji* _

**Charlie:  
** _ Wtf happened?? _

**Sam:  
** _ Y’all know he’s not gonna open up about it for a while… if ever _

**Charlie:  
** _ I know but still *loudly crying emoji* I was hoping it would be different this time _

**Sam:  
** _ He came home real happy Sunday night and was confident this one was gonna go well _

**Eileen:  
** _ He’ll talk about it when he’s ready _

**Charlie:  
** _ Yeah *pensive face emoji* _

  
  
  
Around the time Castiel normally left, Dean walked up to him. “Hey, you mind giving me a hand getting the thing onto the back of the truck?”

“No, I’d be happy to.”

“Sweet! I’m gonna go bring the truck in. I’ll meet you there,” Dean said before pulling the keys out of his pocket and heading back towards the truck. Castiel watched him for a moment before picking up the rest of his things.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, honey,” he said to Inias. He kissed his picture and gave him one last smile before heading towards the shed.

Castiel watched as Dean drove in, and turned around so the bed was facing them. Dean hopped out of the car in different clothes.

“Did you have those on under your uniform?” Castiel asked. “It wasn’t too hot?”

Dean laughed. “No, I just changed on the side of the road. No one really comes down here.” Castiel tried not to blush. “Alrighty. Ready?” He asked as he put the tailgate down.

They laid the arbor down, both straining a bit under the weight but putting it down with relative ease. After counting down from three, they lifted it carefully and slowly walked into the bed of the truck. After many grunts and ah, shit’s, they managed to strap it in tightly.

“Ready to go?” Dean asked, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

“Oh, you don’t have to give me a ride or anything,” Castiel said.

Dean grinned. “It’s gonna look real weird if I’m just tailing you the whole way to your place.”

Castiel couldn’t stop himself from bursting out laughing, catching Dean off guard. “I-I completely didn’t realize that until right now!” Castiel was struggling to talk and even though Dean didn’t think it was that funny, how hard Castiel was laughing prompted him to laugh right alongside him.

It felt wonderful laughing with each other.

On the way to Castiel’s, they sat quietly while Dean’s favorite radio station played in the air around them. Castiel thought it felt nice to be in the air conditioning after so many hours in the heat.

“It’s up here on the right,” Castiel said, pointing to the house in the back corner. The only house on that stretch of road.

“It must get pretty quiet around here. Dark, too,” Dean said as he parked in the driveway next to Castiel’s vehicle. He seemed worried and it made Castiel feel warm.

“Yes, but it’s relaxing. And I have those motion sensor lights so no one can really sneak up on me. That and my alarm system.” Dean smiled at him easily and Castiel knew he’d reassured Dean of his safety.

“That’s good to hear.” Dean shut off the truck and they climbed out. “Okay, show me where you want it!”

“Cas, this garden... it’s so beautiful!” Dean exclaimed. “This must’ve taken so much time, so much care and love.”

“It started gardening almost immediately after buying this house. So it’s been about two and a half years now,” Castiel explained. “I started on the flowers before I tried the food. It took a few tries.”

“Well, you definitely got the hang of it, man,” Dean said. “Do you have an idea of where you want it?”

“Yes, I was thinking about where we walked in? What do you think?”

“This is your space. I don’t think I really get a say in it.”

“But... I value your opinion, Dean,” Castiel urged, a hopeful smile on his face. Dean held his gaze for a moment before giving in.

“Well, if it means that much to you...”

“It does.”

Dean smiled, a bright blush on his face. “Then, I think this garden deserves two of them, don’t you? One for the entrance of the whole garden and then one for the fruits and vegetables.”

Castiel took a step back and thought about it, nodding in agreement. “Yes, I think you’re right. Would you be interested in making another one? I can pay you this time.”

Dean waved him off. “Make me another pie and consider it done.” Castiel agreed, mostly because he knew Dean wouldn’t budge on the matter, and they got to work unloading the arbor and laying it down near where Castiel wanted it.

Castiel stayed with the arbor while Dean got the rest of the tools he needed to install it. The guy at the store told him how to do it and he watched a bunch of different YouTube videos on it last night. He was confident he could do this.

“Okay. I’m gonna finish this up. Could you get me your shovel? And a bucket?”

“Yes, of course.”

Dean installed the star pickets and had Castiel wait beside him while he dug into the ground with the dimensions of the arbor because he was going to need his help holding it up.

“I probably should’ve put the pickets in the ground first,” Dean huffed. “Oh well, too late to turn back.”

“I didn’t realize it had to be installed  _ into _ the ground.” Castiel’s voice sounded strained and out of breath due to having to hold up the project while Dean put a couple of blocks under each post to keep the timber off the ground.

“Well, of course. Otherwise, harsh weather could probably blow it over,” Dean explained. Castiel stepped back once Dean cleared him. “Could I use your gardening shovel?”

“Of course.” Castiel retrieved it for him and openly stared as Dean got on his knees and dug a shallow hole around each of the star pickets. “So what do you have to do next?”

“I’m going to fill these holes up a bit with concrete to keep the foundation steady.”

“The posts wouldn’t do it?”

“Well, if the posts are fully on the ground, it could lead to the timber rottin’ pretty fast and we don’t want that. Concrete keeps it balanced and steady, no matter what the weather.”

Castiel nodded along. “That’s very interesting. I wasn’t aware you knew so much about this.”

Dean looked back at him shyly. “Ah, well, I actually just learned, so I could do this for you.”

“You... learned for me?” Castiel asked, feeling his heart beginning to pound in his chest.

“Yeah, of course, man.” Dean turned back to his work and Castiel was glad because his face felt like it was on fire.

“That’s very kind of you. If you don’t need any more help, I’ll be going inside and starting on the burgers.”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know when I’m done. Shouldn’t be too long,” Dean said.

Castiel retreated into his home.

Nearly an hour later, Dean knocks on the side door he saw Castiel walk into. Castiel lets him.

“Hey, so we gotta wait for concrete to set a bit, and then it can be covered with dirt. You wanna come see it?”

“Yes!” Castiel was excited to see how it turned out. He’d finished cooking a while ago and was just sneakily watching Dean work through the window above the kitchen sink. He went back outside and his breath caught at how magnificent it looked.

“Dean, it looks-it looks so wonderful, thank you,” Castiel says. His eyes water just a bit and he manages to hold tears back; he doesn’t understand why he’s getting so emotional. “Is it- Do you mind if I take a picture of it and post it?”

Dean smacks Castiel on the back lightly and laughs. “She’s all yours, man. You can do whatever you’d like!”

  
  
  


**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:**

_ A huge thank you to @DeanWins for building and installing this gorgeous arbor in my garden!  
_ _ [Image of a light brown arbor standing tall in a garden between yellow and red flowers] _

**Eileen @EileenLeahy replied:** _ Oh my god Dean built that?! It’s so amazing! _

**Meg @Meg20 replied:** _ Dude this looks awesome _

**Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _ Wow, this is gorgeous! *red heart emoji* _

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _ Dude wtf! That’s so awesome! *angry face emoji* _

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _ Wow, I can totally believe that Dean built something so awesome, but still! Wow! *pleased face emoji* _

**Crowley @NotFergus replied:** _ I look forward to seeing it in person later! _

  
  
  
Castiel trailed his fingers along the sturdy wood, completely mesmerized by the fact that someone built this for him personally, that they learned specifically to make him this arbor, that it was Dean.

“I can’t thank you enough,” he mumbled, unsure if Dean could even hear him from where he was standing. At this very moment, he wanted nothing more than a hug from a person who cared so much for him, from Dean. But he didn’t know how to ask for that, how to let himself ask for it. So, he didn’t.

After a few moments of admiring his gift, he turned to Dean with a fond smile. “Let’s go in and eat.”

“Lead the way,” Dean replied easily.

  
  
  
“So then he tells me that his elementary school teacher used to work with her!” Dean exclaimed, wiping his mouth with his napkin. Castiel wished Dean would give his cheek a sloppy kiss like he did to Lisa, but adamantly decides to keep that to himself.

“That’s amazing,” Castiel shared.

Dean nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, it was so awesome meeting them. And their son was quotin’ the movie right along with ‘em, it was adorable. I hope to have a family like that one day.”

Castiel flinched at that and he wanted more than anything to believe that it was because of missing out on a family with Inias, but he couldn’t deny the other reason. Dean having a family with someone hurt more than he was willing to admire to himself.

“I’m happy you had a great time,” Castiel said. “What made you so interested in The Wizard of Oz?” He asked.

“Well, my parents made me and Sammy watch it a lot growin’ up. I used to hate it, man! But it eventually grew on me. We all sang the songs together and quoted the movie.” His voice was soft with the memories of his parents. “But then I learned about all the cool shit they did to make the movie.”

“It’s so interesting, right?!” Castiel said excitedly. “Like how they switched from sepia to technicolor.”

“Yeah! I saw that they used a body double with a dress that was actually sepia and then when she opened the door, Judy immediately took her place with the color dress. I thought that was so cool!” Dean said before taking another bite of his second burger.

“Right! Or how the background of Dorothy returning to her home in the midst of the tornado was a prerecorded scene that they shot with the miniature house, I believe.”

“It was definitely amazin’. All the ways they used to do that stuff. I think I would’ve loved to’ve been on set. Although, I did also hear that they kept it way too hot because of the technicolor. I have a huge amount of respect for everyone that was involved in the process,” Dean declared.

“Yes, I’ve read about how strenuous it all was,” Castiel added. Dean hummed, too busy happily enjoying his burger as they sat at the dining table. 

Dean looked about the room and noticed there were many pictures of Castiel and Inias hanging on the wall. From what little bit he saw of the kitchen, there were pictures in there too, just not as much. Dean felt like he was intruding, like there was absolutely no room for him here, like there never would be. He felt Lisa was wrong. He didn’t think anything could come of them, at all.

They sat in silence for a few solid minutes before Castiel cleared his throat, catching Dean’s attention.

“So, um, you and... Lisa, was it?” Dean nodded. “You two are dating now?”

“We just went on a second date this morning. She’s real nice, Cas. You’d like her,” Dean said, smiling brightly at him. He wasn’t sure why Castiel was bringing this up, especially when they’d been having an interesting conversation about The Wizard of Oz. Dean wanted to go back to that. He didn’t even know how to tell him that he and Lisa were just friends now. It was a bit embarrassing.

“You didn’t like the other two?” Castiel asked, poking the ice cubes in his glass of tea with the straw.

“Well, of course, I did. Cassie’s an amazing girl, we’re still gonna hang out. And Jo was much more interested in Charlie so I introduced them to one another. We’re all gonna be seeing each other still. Why?” Dean asked. Castiel wasn’t the one to prod for much information, so he was confused.

“I was just wondering, is all.” A brief pause. “And—and you and Benny aren’t...?” Castiel trailed off.

Dean sighed heavily. “You don’t seriously think me and Benny actually have a thing, do you?”

Castiel couldn’t look at Dean, giving his answer away.

“Seriously, Cas? Wow. Um, no. Me and Benny don’t have a thing. We’ve just been like that with each other since we were kids. I’ve  _ told _ you how our friendship was,” Dean explained, trying not to raise his voice. He felt so hurt that Castiel would think so low of him.

“I’m sorry, Dean. Just seeing you flirt all the time, it just made me... wonder, I guess.”

“I would  _ never _ , with a married person.”

Castiel slammed his fist on the table. “I know that! You say it  _ all the time _ !” He was frustrated and confused with the entire situation, with himself too.

Dean blinked up at him, clearly surprised. “What’s your problem, man?” Castiel briefly made eye contact before looking away again, ashamed. “Wait. Are you...  _ jealous _ ?”

Castiel looked affronted by that. “No, not at all!” He all but yelled. He didn’t sound all that convincing and he could tell by the way Dean’s shoulders slumped.

They sat there silently, staring at one another from across Castiel’s dining table. The only sound was the hum of the air conditioner and the occasional chirping bird. Then, Dean had finally had enough.

“A while back you asked me what I wanted from you. I said friendship, ‘cause I knew I had no chance with you and I accepted that. Now, I’m startin’ to go out with other people and you’re... you’re being—! What do  _ you _ want from  _ me _ , Cas?!”

“I—I don’t know...” Castiel couldn’t be honest. Dean stood up, the chair clattering to the floor at the abrupt movement.

“Well, you know what? You might be okay with puttin’ your life on hold and that’s fine; I respect your decision, but don’t ask me to do the same.” Dean turned his back to him and started walking away.

“Where are you going?” Castiel asked, his voice small and feeble.

Dean glanced back, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears and so much pain. “I’m not gonna watch you do this to yourself.”

Castiel could only watch him leave. He just couldn’t move, couldn’t go after him. There was nothing he could say. Dean deserved better. But that didn’t stop the tears from coming. 

He doesn’t know how long he sat there crying. It must’ve been a while though because his bottom was sore from the chair and Crowley was entering the room to have dinner together.

He couldn’t even answer his best friend when he asked what was wrong.


	22. August 2020

Dean sped back to Sam’s apartment and practically flew inside when he got there. He ignored Sam and Eileen’s worried looks and beelined for his room and started packing.

“Dean, what’re you doin’? What’s wrong?” Sam asked.

“I gotta get outta here,” Dean said, his vision blurring fiercely with the tears he refuses to let go.

“What happened?” Eileen asked a moment later.

“Cas,” he said. “He’s got all jealous about me datin’ and me and Benny and I just-“ he sighed, cutting himself off. “He doesn’t know what he wants. I was okay with just bein’ friends. I was gettin’ used to it! But then he... he just started asking all these questions about the date and then accused me and Benny of havin’ a thing and he got all mad.” He shoved more clothes into his duffle. “I can’t do it. He wants me to just wait around for him, while he goes and visits his husband in the cemetery and wastes his life away! And he wants me to be  _ okay _ with that! Well, I’m not. And I’m not gonna stay here and watch him do that to himself. If I don’t leave now, then... then I’m afraid I might actually stick around for him.”

He’s panting by the end of it, and something inside him just gives. He hunches over and can’t stop himself from crying any longer. He can’t hold it anymore. He turns to face Sam and Eileen.

“I think I  _ love _ him, Sammy,” he mumbles quietly. It’s so broken and cracked.

Sam’s eyes are full of tears, too. It’s a habit of his. Once he sees Dean crying, he immediately follows suit. Because that’s when he knows a situation is terrible.

Sam pulls him into a tight hug. “It’s okay. It’s alright. I got’cha,” he cries, only he doesn’t know who he’s trying to comfort with those words.

Not even a minute later, Eileen is hugging both of them as much as she can for her small size. All three of them stay like that until Dean stops shaking.

  
  
  
**Dean:  
** _ Hey can I go stay with you for a couple of days? I need to get out of here _

**Charlie:  
** _ Yeah of course! Is everything okay?? _

**Dean:  
** _ Just gotta get outta here, Charlie. Thank you. I’ll be heading up there soon. I’ll be there by tonight. _

**Charlie:  
** _ Be careful _

**Dean:  
** _ Always _

  
  
Sam is leaning against Baby as he watches Dean toss his bags in the backseat. It took so long for him to get Dean here and he’s already losing him again barely a month later; he doesn’t want to see his brother leave, but he understands that staying here would just hurt him more. If he could go back, he’d probably stop Dean and Castiel from meeting.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked for the fifth time. Dean shut the door and hugged his little brother tight.

“I’ll come back soon. I’m gonna be at Charlie’s for a couple days and then maybe I’ll go back to the Grand Canyon or somethin’,” Dean said, a fake wide grin on his face that Sam easily saw through, even if he wasn’t looking at him. His voice was just filled with so much pain.

“Okay. Don’t take forever this time,” Sam said, blinking back tears.

Dean patted his back one last time before pulling away and stepping back. “You got it.” Then he climbed in the car and drove away from his family. All because he was afraid. He felt like such a coward.

Rather than taking HWY 16 and cutting all the way through San Antonio, Dean decided to take 281, get on 37, and then turn onto 410. He liked taking the emptier roads. It was more relaxing.

Part of him thought about stopping by Castiel’s one last time, but he immediately decided against it. He was the reason Dean was leaving, and he’s the only one who could make him stay.

He made sure to leave Rufus a message and to make his check out to Sammy. If anything, Sam could use it or put it in Dean’s bank account for him.

  
  
  


**KSAT 12 @Ksatnews on Twitter:**

_ Police and ambulance were called to the scene when an 18-wheeler struck a car off 281. The driver of the car, a Chevy Impala, is in critical condition and being airlifted. Stay tuned for updates.  
_ _ [Image of an 18-wheeler crashed into the side of a black Chevy Impala, taken from the show, season 1 finale] _


	23. August 2020

“Hello?” Sam answered his phone. It was a bit late. He and Eileen had just settled down for bed.

“ _ Is this Sam Winchester _ ?” The lady on the phone asked.

“Yes, it is. How can I help you?”

“ _ You’re listed as an emergency contact for Dean Winchester. I’m calling from the Methodist Hospital in San Antonio. I’m sorry to inform you that Dean has been in a car accident _ .” 

Sam shot up and nearly dropped his phone. 

“ _ He’s currently in surgery, but I’m afraid that’s all I can tell you over the phone _ ,” she continued.

Sam struggled to talk for a moment, Eileen’s concerned looks and back rubbing helping him out quite a bit. “I-I... I’ll be right there!” He finally said before shooting out a quick thank you and hanging up. He jumped up to his feet, tears in his eyes already. 

“What’s wrong?” Eileen asked, alarmed.

“Dean was in a car accident! We—we need to go.”

They quickly rushed to get ready and packed a bag with extra things they needed before they left the apartment, not even shutting the lights off. Before Sam could get in the car, he had to take a few deep breaths. He was shaking and too emotional to drive right now but Eileen was already crying, so it had to be him that drove.

Eileen comforted him as best as she could despite breaking down herself and it managed to calm him enough to get in the car and start their trip.

“Do you... should we tell the guys? He was supposed to be going to Charlie’s,” Eileen asked, panting from all the tears. Sam was having a difficult time understanding her with the ringing in his ears but he managed to nod.  
  
  


**[The Family Group Chat]**

**  
Eileen:  
** _ Guys  
_ _ We would prefer to call you, but Sam’s driving  
_ _ Dean was in an accident and we’re on our way to the hospital. He’s in surgery but that’s all they can tell us until we get there _

**Charlie:  
** _ Oh my god  
_ _ What hospital?? _

**Benny:  
** _ I’m leaving the diner early and Andrea’s gonna be closing it up soon. I’m on my way. _

**Eileen:  
** _ Methodist Hospital on Medical Drive _

**Charlie:  
** _ I found Ksats twitter and found their tweet on it oh my god  
_ _ They uploaded a picture  
_ _ It was barely an hour ago _

**Eileen:  
** _ I just saw it. I can show this to Sam, not right bow _

**Charlie:  
** _ It’s okay. It’ll take me a little while to get there, but I’ll text you when I’m close. Keep me posted if you can, but I understand if you’re not up for it. Just stay safe. _

  
  
  
Eileen read the message and told Sam they were heading over, all she got was a nod back. It was dark, Sam was trying to hold it together, and he was shaking too bad to sign with one hand. His grip on the steering wheel was tight as if it was the only thing that was grounding him. And it probably was.

Eileen thought about texting Castiel, but she wasn’t sure it was her place. She wasn’t sure what would happen if Dean didn’t... No, she couldn’t think like that. Dean’s the toughest person she knew. Sam admired him and always tried to be like him. He had a heart of gold and the strongest will she’d ever encountered. He was going to be okay. He was going to pull through.  
  
  


************

After Castiel had finally opened up about what happened to Crowley, the two had a long talk that started on topic but eventually ventured into their high school days. They were laughing and enjoying some fruit from Castiel’s garden.

“Still, I think you should go for it,” Crowley said.

“You think so?” Castiel asked.

Crowley nodded. “Absolutely. It’s not every day you meet someone you just...  _ click _ with like that, you know? And you’ve met two. I’d say that’s a blessing.”

“I can’t help but feel guilty.”

“Well,” Crowley said. “If the positions were switched, would you want Inias doing what you’re doing or would you want him to find happiness again?” He asked.

Castiel sighed. “I’d want him to be happy, especially if he found a person that did that for him.”

“Then there’s your answer. You and Inias were always on the same page, it was almost eerie.”

Castiel laughed softly. “You’re right. Maybe I should call him and ask if I can see him tonight before I lose my nerve.” He pulled out his phone.

“Sure. I’ll just go and-“

“Wait. I... just remembered I don’t have his number. All of our messaging was done through Twitter.” 

Crowley groaned. “You have his brother’s?”

Castiel lit up again. “That’s right!” He pulled up Sam’s contact and dialed. Crowley got up to give him privacy and to get more water.

The phone rang for a long time and then finally went to voicemail. He hung up.

“No answer?” Crowley asked when he came back. Castiel shook his head. “Why not try calling again?”

Castiel did and Sam finally answered five rings in.

“ _ I can’t really talk right now. I’m driving _ ,” was the first thing Sam said. He sounded so distressed and Castiel sat up a bit straighter.

“Are you okay? You sound... not well,” Castiel asked. There was a long pause, and he had to make sure that the call hadn’t disconnected somehow.

Finally, “...  _ Do you have feelings for my brother? _ ” 

The question caught Castiel so off guard that he nearly dropped the phone. 

“I—I... I,” he stuttered. “I’d rather tell Dean first.”

“ _ That’s good enough for me _ ,” Sam said. “ _ Dean was going to see Charlie and... and he got in a car accident on the way there. We’re all on the way to the hospital. _ ”

Castiel sat frozen on the spot. He felt like he was in Guam all over again. He felt so stupid for wasting time with Dean. He felt so stupid for pushing him away the whole time. He just felt  _ stupid _ .

“ _ He’s in surgery but I won’t know more until we get there. Look, I know after what happened with your husband that this must be... but... if you want to be there for him, he’s at the Methodist Hospital. The one on Medical Drive. _ ”

“I don’t know... I don’t know if I can do that. I-I don’t know what to do, Sam,” he said, crying as quietly as he could, although the sound of his voice gave it away.

“ _ I can’t tell you what to do, man. But we’re going. He needs us, and, honestly, he needs you too. I gotta go _ .” He hung up before Castiel could say another word.

“Castiel? What’s wrong?” Crowley asked, sitting next to him on the couch.

“I can’t lose him, Crowley. I  _ can’t _ .” The tears spilled more and more. “He was in a car accident. He’s in surgery.”

Crowley pulled him into a hug and held him tightly as he cried. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I should go. I wanna see him,” Castiel sobbed.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Castiel pulled back a little and looked into Crowley’s eyes seriously. “I couldn’t be with Inias in his final moments. I couldn’t even open his casket and see him. God forbid Dean doesn’t... I’m not going to let him go thinking that I didn’t... that I didn’t  _ love _ him.”

Crowley pulled Castiel in for another hug and then stood up. “Okay. Pack a bag. I’m driving you,” He said.

“But you hate the city.”

Crowley smiled at him. “I love you more than I hate that city, hands down. And you’re in no state to drive.”

Castiel smiled gratefully before rushing up to his room and packing a few essentials.

  
  
  


**[*unamused face* Group Chat]**

**  
Crowley:  
** _ Dean was in a car accident. I’m driving Castiel to the hospital he’s at. He admitted to loving Dean. _

**Kelly:  
** _ Oh my god _

**Meg:  
** _ This isn’t good at all  
_ _ I mean Clarence finding love again is awesome but the accident is terrible _

**Kelly:  
** _ Do they know what happened?? _

**Crowley:  
** _ Sam just told him that he was in surgery. He won’t know anything else until he gets to the hospital _

**Kelly:  
** _ Keep us updated. Tell Castiel we’re thinking about him. _


	24. August 2020

“He’s still in surgery and I’m afraid we won’t know anything else until he’s out. The best thing is to just try and stay calm,” the doctor, Dr. Barnes, explained to Sam. “I’ll let you as soon as he’s out of surgery and allowed visitors.”

“What else... what else can we do?” Sam asked shakily.

“You need to have faith, Sam.” After a moment, she left with a promise to check back later.

When they first got there, he was freaking out at the front desk, and Dr. Barnes noticed and came over with that little they had in Dean’s file. He went back to the waiting room and explained the situation to Eileen who was still shaking. He held her tightly, trying to be strong like Dean.

Time seemed to drag on. And it was so late, there weren’t too many people around. There was a golf game on the television that Sam was trying to focus on, but his leg wouldn’t stop bouncing.

“Sam,” he heard. He turned and saw Castiel standing by the automatic doors. And anger flared up inside him, he tensed. Eileen noticed the change in his body language and looked up at Castiel. She held Sam tightly and they shared a look.

Castiel was here. And that was enough. Telling him the truth, that would only drive him away.

“How’s Dean? Do you know anything?” Castiel asked as he took the empty seat on the other side of Sam, a comforting hand on his shoulder. He wanted to move that hand off of him and get away from him, but he refrained.

“He’s still in surgery. We won’t know more until he’s out, whenever... whenever that is,” Sam clumsily explained. He could barely remember the drive up here, he was surprised he could remember what the doctor told him.

Castiel pulled him in for a hug. And Sam was shocked that he seemed to be shaking, too.

“Are you scared?” He asked. Part of him felt entirely numb but his body wasn’t listening to him. His leg was still bouncing, he was sweating, his hands were shaking, and his eyes kept looking around.

Castiel pulled back a little with red-rimmed eyes. “Terrified.” He hugged Sam again, this time so tight that Sam caved and hugged him back with his free arm.

“He’s... strong, okay?” Sam said. “He’s gonna pull through.” After a while, they pulled away and sat back again to wait for Dean. The next time the doors opened, it was Benny. Sam and Eileen immediately stood up.

All three just stared for a moment before they hugged one another. Castiel averted his eyes, it was a private moment. He could hear Eileen crying, Sam sniffling, and, when he glanced briefly at them, he saw Benny’s red eyes. They were all so close and Castiel envied them.

But it was his fault for pushing his friends away, so he felt he didn’t have a right to complain.

“Castiel?” Benny asked. “You’re here? I didn’t know you and Dean were close.” Castiel tried not to feel hurt or jealous.

“Um, yes. He and I are... complicated, at best,” he tried to explain, a sad smile on his face. Suddenly, Castiel felt like an outsider. Crowley said he was going to wait out in the parking lot because they didn't really know him and now Castiel was beginning to think that he’d made the right call. Something this serious was meant to be for family and close friends. Castiel didn't think Dean thought of him as either.

Last they talked, Dean was understandably upset. He'd been completely honest with Castiel in how he felt and he was right to say the things he did. He couldn’t be even a little upset with Dean because he understood that he had himself to think about first. And he was proud of Dean for that. For putting his foot down. Not only because he was looking out for himself, but also because it kicked Castiel into gear and made him admit how he felt about Dean.

Benny smiled at him and patted his shoulder. “Well, I’m glad you’re here. Dean’s gonna love seein’ you,” he said. Castiel couldn’t stop the blush from rising on his face, causing Benny to chuckle. It made him feel secure that Benny, of all people, seemed to accept why he was there.

“I sure hope so,” Castiel replied. Benny took the seat next to him while Sam and Ellen returned to their original spots. “Would you like to sit here? To be closer to them?”

Benny smiled apologetically. “If you don’t mind?”

Castiel smiled and shook his head. “Not at all. They need you.” They switched seats and now Castiel was officially at the end of the row. Sam said Charlie was on the way so he looked on the other side of Eileen and noticed there went another chair on that side. He went and moved a seat right next to her.

“What’re you doin’?” Sam asked.

“Getting a chair for Charlie.”

“Thanks, man.”

Castiel smiled at Sam and returned to his seat to wait. Part of him was glad that Inias hadn't died in a hospital, or he probably couldn’t even be here.

Another hour passed before Charlie came rushing through the doors. "Any updates?" She asked. Her voice was shaking and her eyes were red and irritated from rubbing them too much.

"No, nothin' yet," Sam answered, pulling her into a tight hug.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" Charlie cried.

"It's Dean. He's the strongest person we know," Sam assured her, his own tone wobbling with unshed tears. Truth was, he didn't know himself. He was terrified. Dean was strong, but he left in so much pain that Sam wasn't sure he even had the strength to fight. "Let's sit down, okay?"

Charlie sat on the other side of Eileen and the quartet huddled together, comforting one another. Castiel jumped a bit when Benny pulled him into a hug.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

Castiel looked into Benny's eyes. "No," he admitted. Benny hugged him tighter.

"He'll be okay."

It felt like a lifetime before Dr. Barnes returned with a surgeon next to her. All five of them stood up, anxious for the news.

"How's my brother?" Sam immediately asked.

"There were a few complications during surgery, his heart stopped twice," Castiel felt his breath taken away and he felt ready to collapse. The others weren't faring well either. "But we managed to bring him back and the rest of the surgery went well," the surgeon explained. "We're getting him settled into a room right now. Dr. Barnes here will explain more about his situation." Castiel felt relief.

They all thanked him before he left.

"Dean suffered massive blood loss and has severe contusions to his liver and kidney. The bone in his right leg was shattered in the crash, but they managed to repair it as best as they could. From looking at his scans, it seems there are early signs of cerebral edema, which is what I'm most worried about. Unfortunately, we just won't know more until he wakes up," Dr. Barnes explained.

"So, what can we do?" Sam asked. "What can be done?"

"We can only wait for him to wake up... if he does," she replied.

" _ If _ ?" They all said in unison.

"Yes. Someone with Dean's injuries shouldn't have survived this long; he's a fighter. But we need to be realistic, okay?" She said solemnly. "We're just not sure if he's going to wake up."

Castiel fell back into his chair. He felt numb all over. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like he didn't want to unless Dean was. He felt like he'd lost the love of his life all over again. Sam and Eileen were clinging to each other, just as Benny and Charlie were. He doesn't know he did it, but he managed to pull himself together. He needed to be strong for them. Castiel wasn't sure if any of them had ever been in a situation like this, but they weren't doing well, and he needed to do something.

Castiel took a deep breath. "When can we see him?" He asked.

"Right now, when you're ready. ICU only allows two visitors at a time," Dr. Barnes replied. Charlie, Benny, and Castiel stayed back as Sam and Eileen were led to Dean’s room.

“Um, Castiel..?” Charlie trailed off, clearly not wanting to be rude.

He shook his head. “You two go next,” he said. He knew what she wanted to say. "I can go after."

"Thank you," she said. He hadn't talked to Charlie as much as the others, mostly due to her living in Austin, but he knew she was a very good friend to Dean, and that he loved her greatly.

"How are you?" Castiel asked. He figured she must've felt guilty because Dean had been on his way to see her when the crash occurred.

"Well, I've had much better nights, but Dean is... okay right now so I'm relieved. You?" She was speaking nervously, like it was a defense mechanism and he couldn't blame her. He used to be the same way.

"I'm also relieved. Tonight was, uh, going to be a big night for me and Dean, I'd hoped," he said, mumbling the last part to himself.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked.

"I only know what happened because I called Sam when he was driving up here. I wanted to get Dean's phone number to, you know, call him. I wanted to see him again tonight."

"You didn't see KSATS tweet then?" She asked. "They posted about it, along with a photo of the wreckage, which I thought was a bit insensitive."

Castiel shook his head. "No, I don't follow any news outlet on social media. I can't believe they'd share a photo of it," he said. "Has Sam seen it?"

"No, I only told Eileen about it. She said she wasn't gonna show him."

"I can make a few phone calls and see if they can have it removed," Castiel said, pulling out his phone.

"You'd do that?"

Castiel smiled softly at her. "Of course. I want to keep Sam's mental health as good as it can be in this situation."

"You're a good person. I can see why Dean feels about you the way he does," Charlie said. Castiel’s face went bright red and Charlie laughed. “Can you tell me one thing though?”

“What?”

“Do you feel the same about him?” She whispered.

Castiel nodded his head. “I want him to hear the words from me first though.”

Charlie held back a squeal. “Yes! He’s gonna be so damn happy to hear that.”

Castiel chuckled. “I hope so.” They sat in silence for a moment before Castiel decided it was time to call the station. He gave Charlie a smile and went outside to make those phone calls.

The station agreed to take the photo down, as well as send over any footage and photos to his lawyer. They also told him where Dean’s car was currently impounded. He decided to call the lot and leave a message for pick up just in case they decided to charge by the day.

Castiel had just gotten off the phone when a man with a trucker hat came out of the hospital.

“Are you the man who hit the Impala?” Castiel asked.

The man stopped walking and shrunk back. “Yeah,” he sighed. “I was tryin’ to find a rest stop to sleep and I fell asleep while drivin’ before I could.”

“In the future, please just stop on the side of the road,” Castiel said. “The person you hit is a close friend. I’d like to get a copy of your driver's license and work identification, as well as your company’s phone number.”

“They already heard about it. I’ve been fired and they assured me they’d do their best to compensate. Please, I-I don’t have the kinda money to settle.”

Castiel shook his head. “No. Your business is at fault. I’m sure you were just trying to keep up with their schedule and couldn’t afford to make many stops. That’s not on you. Besides, all companies are responsible for their employees.”

The man nodded. “Everyone thinks this kinda job’s real easy, but it ain’t. I barely get to see my family and I’ve gotta hustle with all these orders or my pay gets docked some.”

“I understand. Have you spoken with Dean’s family? He and his brother are the only blood family they’ve got left.”

“I’m ashamed,” the man said.

“That may be, but I’m sure he’d appreciate you facing him like a man.”

“Yeah. I could try to find him.”

“How about coming back tomorrow or the day after? Dean just got out of surgery and everything is still a bit tense. You can leave your number with me though and I’ll tell him we ran into each other.”

“Thank you. You know, for understandin’ and helpin’ me with this,” the man replied. He pulled out a business card. “My work phone is on this but I’ll write my personal on the back.” He handed the card over to Castiel when he was done.

“Thank you. Now, about your information,” Castiel said.

“Yeah. I got a scanner at home. If you give me your email, I can send it over.”

“Can I borrow one of your business cards and your pen?” He wrote down his lawyer’s email and handed it back to him. “This is my lawyer’s. She’ll let you know if there’s anything else she needs, so just keep an eye out.”

“You got it. Thank you again,” he said. Castiel politely smiled in return and the man went on his way.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he could do for Sam and Dean other than offering them a legal option, but he’d do his best.

He was about to head back inside when he got a phone call from the pound, surprisingly. Turns out the owner was dealing with Dean’s car when Castiel called so he missed it. They talked fees and, after hearing what happened, the man agreed to hold it no charge until they found a way to move it. The man suggested another business and assured Castiel that he would get the information and prices and give Castiel a call back tomorrow.

He felt grateful that this man was willing to help the Winchesters. He felt so relieved that there were still kind people around.

The next time he went back inside, Sam and Eileen were back in the waiting room.

“Hey, you okay?” Sam asked.

“Yes, I was making a few phone calls,” Castiel said. “I also ran into the man that, um, hit Dean.”

Sam sat up straighter. “When? Where?” He looked livid.

“He left a while ago, I’m afraid. He wanted to come in and meet you, but I thought you were still with Dean and that it was too raw at the moment. He gave me his personal phone and said he’d come back in a couple of days. I hope that’s all right,” Castiel explained. He got the card out of his pocket and handed it to Sam, who slumped back down and put it in his own pocket.

“You’re probably right. It’s too soon to see him. Oh my God! What about the Impala?” Sam said, groaning loudly.

Castiel sat next to him. “I called the news station and they told me where the car was taken. I called the lot where it’s being kept and just got off the phone with the owner. He assured me that he’d hold it until we can get it free of charge and even offered to call another place to help with moving it. I know Dean really loves the Impala so I can try to find a restoration business to have it fixed up.”

Sam and Eileen were staring at him like he was Holy and he squirmed in his seat a bit.

“Man, I could just kiss you right now,” Sam laughed. “I’m just so focused on Dean and, even though I know you’re also worried about him, you’ve already crossed a few things off the list.”

“It was selfish, really. I just needed to do something to preoccupy myself until it was my turn to see him,” Castiel admitted.

Sam put his arm around him and squeezed. “It’s not selfish. It’s human.”

Castiel smiled at him. “I’ve also sent pictures and footage of the accident to my lawyer. Just in case you wanted to sue the man’s company. It’s completely up to you.”

“I’m not sure I have the energy to go after them,” Sam said.

“Billie could put together a case and let you know more about the process if you’d like, so you can be absolutely sure of what to expect in whichever direction you choose to go,” Castiel said.

“Dean could be in here for a long time, and we can’t afford much to begin with. It’d be smarter to sue them, wouldn’t it?” Sam sighed.

“I’ll talk more about it with Billie and let you know, okay? Just keep an eye out on your email.”

“You got it.”


	25. August 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please note, that I have no knowledge of any legal or medical works. Like, absolutely none

Castiel didn’t have to wait too long to see Dean. Benny and Charlie came back teary-eyed and holding each other twenty minutes later. Sam squeezed his arm one last time before letting him go.

Benny showed him the way to Dean’s room and that’s where Castiel was standing now. In front of Dean’s door, frozen. He’d been so sure about being there, but now he was hesitating. He took a deep breath and walked in.

Castiel barely heard the door shut behind him. The beeping of the monitors was so loud. Dean looked so fragile, like he was made of glass. He was hooked up to so many things that Castiel felt overwhelmed. If it wasn’t for the monitors reminding him of Dean’s heart rate, he’d think he was dead as the slow rise of his chest was hardly noticeable from this distance. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He should’ve gone after Dean when he walked away from him. He should’ve told him how he felt about him. How he imagined his arms wrapped tightly around him as he laid in bed. How he thought about Dean’s lips pressing softly against any skin he could reach. How he laid awake at night absolutely aching for his touch. He should’ve told him… how much he loved him.

But, looking at him now, he realizes how much of a coward he is.

“I—I thought I could stay by your bedside, but I realize I’m not strong enough,” he said, his voice cracking under the emotion. His tears finally fell and then wouldn’t stop.

Castiel walked closer until he had Dean’s hand tightly in his. “You deserve someone who could be by your side with no hesitation. I thought it could be me, but it’s taking all my strength not to run away right this second.”

His other hand found its way to Dean’s bruised and cut cheek, stroking so gently and affectionately. “I was going to call you tonight and tell you to come back, so I could tell you how I truly felt about you because you deserved to know. You still deserve to know.”

Castiel leaned down and kissed Dean’s forehead, his tears falling onto Dean’s face and running down his cheeks as well. He sniffled and moved his mouth close to Dean’s ear. “I absolutely love you, Dean Winchester. I’m sorry I couldn’t be who you needed me to be.”

He kissed Dean’s cheek before pulling away. “I’m so sorry,” he cried, gasping for air. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I love you. I love you.” He felt so free saying it, and now he couldn’t stop. “I’m so sorry, Inias, but I love him. I love you, Dean.”

He couldn’t take it anymore and he left.

“Hey, where are you going?” Sam asked when he made it back to the waiting room.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I thought I could do this, but I’m not strong enough,” he said, his tears still falling. “He deserves better. I’m sorry, but I need to go.” And he ran. He ran all the way to where Crowley said he was parked and practically ripped the door open and climbed in.

He let Crowley hold him again as he cried. And he cried for a very long time. Crowley drove them back home when Castiel had managed to cry himself into exhaustion and he slept the whole way home.

_ I love you, Dean Winchester. _  
  
  


************  
  


As promised, Castiel helped with everything legally, and with finding a place for Baby to get restored. Sam was upset with him though and refused contact.

Castiel didn’t have much contact with them, just what little Billie told him. The decision to pursue the company had been a good one despite how long it was going to take to gather evidence, Dean’s medical records for the crash, and statements.

Billie said that Dean being in a coma was a huge help in their case, despite how ugly it sounded. And with the driver willing to give his statement now that he was no longer a worker for the company, it was looking to be a quick case.

Castiel wished he could do more, but he knew it was best to stay away. He spent his days just like he used to before he met Dean, except he was all he could think about. He told Inias about everything, and even though Inias couldn’t say anything back, Castiel knew he was disappointed.

Crowley stopped by more. Castiel made them breakfast and dinner, and they had lighthearted conversations most of the time. Most nights though, Castiel cried himself to sleep. He felt so ashamed for leaving Dean, for not being strong enough. He’d never be able to face Dean again.

Gabriel, once he heard what happened, came to stay with him for a couple of weeks. It helped him a lot, but he still couldn’t seem to shake off that emptiness he was feeling.

Gabe was worried. Castiel has been acting the same way he had when he lost Inias. He was going through the motions, barely heard a word anyone said, and would randomly start crying or panicking. Gabriel wished he knew how to help.

  
  
  
**Billie:** _  
_ _ Sam wanted me to tell you that they appreciate what you’ve done for them behind the scenes and he gave me permission to tell you that they won a huge settlement, so they won’t have to worry about Dean’s medical bills for a while now. _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ Thank you so much for telling me. And for being an amazing friend and lawyer. _ **  
** **  
** **Billie:** _  
_ _ Anytime. Please take care of yourself. _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ I’ll try. Do you have any updates on Dean? _ **  
** **  
** **Billie:** _  
_ _ All I know is that he still hasn’t woken up. I’m sorry _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ Are they any updates on Dean? _ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _ No. He seems to be doing better. But he still hasn’t woken up. The cerebral edema they were worried about hasn’t gotten any worse with the medications they’ve been giving him. _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ I know Sam is still very upset with me, but thank you for giving me updates. _ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _ I know how you feel about him, so I can’t just shun you. Sam just needs some time. He’ll come around. They’ve just always been extremely protective of each other. _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ Thank you. Billie told me that the court case was won. I’m very happy to hear that. If there’s anything else y’all need, please let me know and I’ll do my best to help in any way that I can. _ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _ We appreciate that. It was hard work and there were so many variables that it made our heads spin, but Billi walked us through everything. _ _  
_ _ Thank you for paying her fee _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ There’s no need to thank me. I’m just sorry I’m not strong enough to be there with you all. _ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _ It’s going to be okay _ **  
** ****

**Castiel:** _  
_ _ I hope _ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_ **Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:** _  
_ __  
__ I don’t deserve to be by his side. I don’t blame Sam one bit for being angry with me. I would be too. **  
**


	26. October 2020

He doesn't hear much, and he can't seem to open his eyes yet. His entire body feels heavy and his head feels groggy like he slept for a very long time but it wasn't enough. No, Dean didn't feel great at all. His entire body hurt and he couldn't move.

" _And the time of night and the cave and the waterfall—and the stone angel in Ilium..._

_And 250,000 cigarettes and 3,000 quarts of booze, and two wives and no wife..._

_And no love waiting for me anywhere..._

_And the listless life of an ink-stained hack..._

_And Pabu, the moon, and Borasisi, the sun, and their children..."_

That was Sam's voice, reading Vonnegut, Dean recognized. Slowly, he cracked his eyes open, the bright overhead lights and the sun peeking in from the windows burning his eyes. He shut them again before trying once more and keeping them open. Sam was still reading, unaware that Dean was awake. He wondered where Eileen was, but he figured she was at work after a while.

A few moments later, he tried to move his fingers and he did it. He felt excited that everything seemed to work. He remembered getting into an accident and then passing out, so he was just relieved to be alive. He studied Sam's face more and took note of how haggard his little brother looked. Dean was positive he'd look the same, if not worse, if their positions were switched.

Sam's eyes looked a bit sunken in, his high cheekbones peeking out more, and his hair was thin and slightly oily. His voice sounded tired and stressed, like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. Dean felt terrible for doing this to his brother.

"Sammy," he croaked, voice raspy from disuse. Sam jolted and quickly looked at Dean's face.

"Dean!" He cried, his eyes watering and voice cracking. He sounded so relieved. Sam dropped to his knees at Dean's bedside and grabbed his hand. Dean managed to squeeze his brother's hand and that only made Sam cry even more.

"'M okay, Sammy," he whispered. Dean could only lay there, squeezing his brother's hand often until Sam's crying subsided.

"I missed you so much," Sam sniffled. "I need to call the doctor in here. They kept tellin' me that you might not wake up, but I had faith. I knew you wouldn't leave me behind." Sam was about to start crying again.

"Love you, brother," he mumbled, smiling up tiredly at Sam's face. His face felt hot and he felt so tired all of a sudden. His eyes started drooping shut and Sam gasped.

"No, no, no, stay awake," Sam said, shaking his shoulder a bit. Dean blinked a few times and nodded. "I'll be right back. Stay awake."

Dean fought with all of his might to stay awake the entire time Sam was gone.

"Dean?" He heard. He blinked a few times and looked up at a lady doctor. "I'm Dr. Barnes. How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Tired," he said, his voice still scratchy. "Hot."

Dr. Barnes checked his temperature and hummed. "You have a slight fever. You must be exhausted," she explained. "Get some rest and press this button, or have Sam do it, the next time you wake up, no matter what the time." Dean felt so grateful, he could cry. He was pretty sure he released some tears as his eyes slipped shut and he drifted off to sleep. There was only one person on his mind.

 _Cas…_  
  
  
  
  
Sam sat as quietly as he could while Dr. Barnes checked over Dean's vitals.

"This is terrific news, Sam," she said eventually, a relieved smile on her face. She'd grown close to all of them in the couple of months they've been here. She knew Dean was the only family Sam had left and she watched Sam not taking care of himself. Just last week, she had to hook him up to an IV because he was about ready to collapse. But right now he looked like a child on Christmas morning.

“I knew he was gonna wake up,” Sam said, his voice thick with tears and relief.

“I’ll be staying here tonight, for the next time he wakes up. These next few days are going to be exhausting for him. We had to redo all the tests and scans and we need to stand him up, make sure everything is working,” she explained. “He’s gonna need all the support he can get.”

“I’ll be by his side every step of the way, and so will the others.”

Dr. Barnes didn’t doubt that one bit. She smiled at him one more time before leaving the room.  
  
  
  
**[The Family Group Chat]  
** **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _Dean’s awake!_ _  
_ _I was reading to him and he just said my name! We had a moment. But then he started falling back asleep, he looked so damn tired. I managed to keep him awake until Dr. Barnes came in._ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _Thank god!!!_ _  
_ _I’ll stop by for lunch_ **  
** **  
** **Charlie:** _  
_ _I’m so happy!! I’ll stop by this weekend_ **  
** **  
** **Benny:** _  
_ _I’ll be up there tonight_ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _What else did the doc say?_ **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _He has a fever so he’s sleeping it off right now._ _  
_ _She said that he’s looking really good though! And that she’ll be staying here tonight for the next time he wakes up_ _  
_ _I’m so goddamn related, y’all_ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _I’m so happy he’s awake. Maybe you’ll actually get a full night sleep tonight *two hearts emoji*_ **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _I freakin hope so. Think they’ll wheel in an extra bed for me to sleep in??_ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _I’m not sure we’re that good of friends with the staff yet *face with tears of joy emoji*_  
  
  
  
  
**Eileen:** _  
_ _Dean just woke up. I’m at work but Sam was there._ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _How is he???_ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _He went back to sleep pretty quickly. Sam says he has a slight fever._ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _I can’t thank you enough for keeping me posted_ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _Will you go visit him?_ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _I don’t deserve to see him and Sam is still upset with me, I’m sure_ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _I think you should see him, but it’s your choice_ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _He deserves better than me_ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _Why don’t you let him decide that for himself?_ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _I couldn’t even stay with him, when he and Sam needed support the most._ _  
_ _I just can’t do it, Eileen. I’m sorry. I’m not as great a person as everyone thinks of me as._ _  
_ _I’m weak. And Dean deserved better than someone who runs away when the going gets tough._  
  
  
  
  
Castiel felt so happy that Dean was finally awake, but he also felt hollow. He wanted to run to Dean’s side as fast as he could, but he knew he would just run away if something happened again. The if’s are what kept him at bay. 

The night when he was going to call Dean, he was so damn sure but when reality hit, when he realized that Dean was capable of getting hurt, he ran. There was no way he could show himself in front of Dean anymore.  
  
  
  


**Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:** _  
_  
_He’s awake. Thank God he’s awake. I wish I was brave enough to see him. God, how I wish._

****************   
  
  
  
“Dean?” Sam asks, pulling Dean out of his thoughts.

“Hm?” He replies, looking back up at his brother.

“I said, the nurses will be by to take you away for your scans and all that good shit.”

“Okay.”

“Are you okay?”

“Did... Do you know how Cas is doin’?” Dean finally asks.

Sam hesitates for a moment. “He rushed over here the night of your accident.”

Dean perked up. “Yeah?” Sam nodded. “Is he gonna stop by with Benny or somethin’?”

“Eileen told him you were awake, and he refused to come. He was okay up until the moment he saw you. It was strange. He set us up with his lawyer, found out where the Impala was, and had it restored. It’s over at Benny’s right now,” Sam explained. “But, um, as soon as he came in here and saw you, he almost immediately left. He never came back.”

Dean turned his face away from Sam so he wouldn’t see the tears spill. He didn’t blame Castiel, he’d just hoped any of what he said the other night had made any bit of difference. But if Dean nearly dying didn’t do it, then nothing else would.

“Dean?” Sam asked. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he replied honestly. “I understand why. He’s always gonna love Inias and I was foolish to think that he and I could eventually have a life together, but,  _ damn it _ , did I hope,” Dean laughed, but it sounded so tortured. So full of anguish.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I think, honestly, that he does feel somethin’ for you.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, but it’s not enough.” They stayed silent after that until the nurses came and took him away.

His head was fine and he was mostly healed up. His body was still completely sore and he would need a bit of physical therapy for his right leg, but he was a picture of health otherwise. And he was thankful to be alive. He only wished Castiel was here with him


	27. November 2020

Castiel curled in on himself in his bed. Every year seemed to be getting worse, not better. He tried to think of those comforting words Dean said to him a few months ago.

_ It doesn’t get easier, but you do get stronger and that makes all the difference in the world.  _

He couldn’t even grieve right because his mind went back and forth between Inias and Dean. Dean was still alive but he’d almost died, Castiel almost lost him just as he lost Inias. And he just couldn’t shake that off.

He kept begging and pleading with himself to just go. To stop stopping himself from being happy, but his body wouldn’t move where he wanted it to. And he was stuck in an endless cycle of grief.

He sobbed into his pillow, buried underneath his blankets.   



	28. December 2020

**Sam Winchester @ItsSam on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ He can’t wait to get out of the hospital _ _  
_ _ [Image of Dean laying in a hospital bed holding a TV remote, taken from when Dean’s heart was giving out on the show] _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Benny @BennyLafitte on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ I haven’t been this happy in a while _ _  
_ _ [Image of Dean hugging Benny, taken from when they got out of Purgatory on the show] _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ I’m not emotional, you are! *pleading face* _ _  
_ _ [Image of Jensen Ackles and Felicia Day hugging on stage during a convention, she had short hair and is holding a microphone that totally isn’t there] _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Sam Winchester @ItsSam on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ He’s trying to leave already *face with rolling eyes emoji* _ _  
_ _ [Image of Dean’s Winchester’s hand holding onto two crutches, preparing to use them to leave] _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **************************   
  
  
  
"I'm ready to get the hell outta here, y'all! Thanks for takin' care of us as long as y'all have. We appreciate it," Dean told all the nurses that had gathered to bid Dean goodbye.

Dr. Barnes stepped up with a wheelchair and gave him a pointed look. "Hospital policy, buddy. Sit your butt down," she said.

"But Pamela," he whined. He and the doctor had grown quite close and promised to keep in contact with one another.

"Only but I want is your butt in his chair," she said. He huffed but sat down. "Thank you. Now quit your pouting, and let's have a nice couple of minutes together before you get to the door."

Dean sighed heavily. "I know. I'm gonna miss 'ya, y'know?" He mumbled.

Pamela chuckled. "I'm gonna miss you, too. But you've got my number, even though you technically shouldn't, and you can shoot me a text or give me a call anytime. I'll answer when I can," she assured him. "When are you leaving?"

"I'm thinking I'll stay at Sam's for a week at most and then head to the Grand Canyon like I was originally plannin'," he explained. "Hopefully I make it there this time."

Pamela smacked his shoulder just as they got to the front door. "Don't talk like that! Just be careful."

Dean let out a loud laugh. "You hit all your patients, doc?"

"You," Pamela said, "as of now are  _ no longer _ my patient. And it was just a love tap, don't be a baby."

Sam was waiting in the car with Eileen parked right in front with a proud and emotional smile.

"He's gonna coddle me, isn't he?" Dean asked as he stood up. Pamela put her arm around his shoulder and sighed happily.

"Oh, you bet, sweetie." She squeezed his shoulder. "I'm surprised he's even letting you out of his sight so soon after getting out of the hospital."

"Well, it took a lot of convincing and a huge fight for him to budge, but it's happenin'. I don't wanna stay in town for too long."

"You take care of that heart, Dean. Send me pictures of anything pretty you find on the way to Arizona," she said. "I'll be seeing you."

"Yeah. You take care of yourself," he said as he made his way to the car. He was going to always walk with a small limp now, but he was grateful he could still walk. He tossed his bag of things in the back before getting inside and waving to Pamela as Sam drove away.

Sam couldn't stop looking in the rearview mirror and smiling brightly at the sight of his brother finally out of the hospital bed.

"Hey, we got you a new phone," Sam said as he tossed a phone box back to Dean, who caught it easily.

"Thanks, man."  
  
  
  
**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:** _  
__  
__Guess who’s alive!! *clapping hands* *pleased face* *clapping hands* *pleased face*_ _  
__[Image of Jensen Ackles, taken in a vehicle from an upward angle and looking out the window. He has slightly longer hair and a well grown beard]_ **  
****  
** ****

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _Dude you’re lookin fine for someone who just got out of the hospital *smiling face with heart eyes*_ _  
__  
_ **Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _I do look pretty good *pleased face*_ **  
****  
** **Jo Harvelle @JoSweetheart replied:** _Glad to see you alive and well on the Twittersphere *red heart emoji*_ _  
__  
_ **Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _Can’t wait to see you again *blowing a kiss emoji*_ **  
****  
** **Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _Looking good, brother *red heart emoji*_ _  
__  
_ **Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _Thanks, babe *blowing a kiss emoji* I’ll be seeing you tonight_ **  
****  
****  
****  
******

**Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ Nearly died and then found out Cas doesn’t love me *upside down face* _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ He’s out of the hospital! And he looks so good? I kind of hope he doesn’t shave or cut his hair because *pleading face* _ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_   
Dean looked at Castiel’s Twitter profile and saw that he hasn’t posted anything since Dean installed the arbor. He wasn’t sure how to feel, not knowing how Castiel felt. He wanted to see him so badly, but Dean knew he just had to get some rest and then take off.

“You said Cas had Baby restored?” Dean suddenly asked. Sam turned the music down.

“Yeah. He took care of all of that. Found the pound she was in, talked to the owner who called a buddy of his that restored classic cars. Castiel paid for it himself because we hadn’t won the case against the company yet,” Sam explained.

“Did you pay him back?”

“No, Billie said he wouldn’t let me, Eileen, too. I haven’t had contact with him since he left that first night.”

“Why?”

“He... He  _ left _ you, Dean. He left us when we needed him most. And I understand why, but it still hurt,” Sam admitted, staring hard at the road ahead.

“It’s okay, Sammy. I’ll send him a thank you card or somethin’,” Dean replied. “I don’t wanna see him.” Which was a lie, and they both knew it. It wasn't that he didn’t want to see him, it was that he couldn’t.

“A thank you card sounds nice.” They shared a smile in the rearview mirror and Dean smiled wider when Eileen reached back for Dean’s hand to give it a brief, gentle, reassuring squeeze.   
  
  
  
**Sam Winchester @ItsSam on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ Went from this… _ _  
_ _ [Image of Sam sitting next to Dean, who’s lying unconscious on a hospital bed, taken from season four of the show] _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Sam Winchester @ItsSam on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ … To This! _ _  
_ _ [Image of, in order, Jensen Ackles, Shoshannah Stern, and Jared Padalecki smiling widely at the camera] _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** Dean writes out a thank you card, keeps it grateful but professional, and mails it out even though it’d be easier to deliver.

_ Thank you for taking care of my Baby. I appreciate what you did for my family while I was in the hospital. _

_ Goodbye, Cas _

_ -Dean _

  
  
-

  
  
  
He gives half of the money won in the settlement to Sam and Eileen and puts a majority of his half into his savings.

He spends almost a week in town, just enjoying a proper bed, home-cooked meals, and his friends and family. Castiel never once stops by or tries to contact him and Dean figures that it’s time to head out now.

He packs his things that night but decides to wait until early morning to take off. He didn’t plan on stopping anywhere until he got to Arizona, it wasn’t too far. 18 hours away at most and he’d done that no problem before.

“Just please be careful, okay?” Sam begged. 

Dean sighed. “That guy hit  _ me _ . It wasn’t my fault,” he said.

“I know that! I’ll just feel better if I tell you, okay?”

Dean pulled his little brother in for a hug. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ll be careful.”

“Sure you don’t want some company?” Sam offered again for the fifth time.

Dean shook his head. “Eileen needs you here, and you’ve got school. You’ve taken enough time off already,” Dean said. Sam nodded and stepped away from the subject.

“Well, g’night. Eileen’s makin’ a huge breakfast for you tomorrow,” Sam said.

“I’m gonna miss her cooking,” Dean hummed. “G’night, Sammy.” Dean went to his room and fell asleep after much tossing and turning.

He was nervous about being on the road again, and about not feeling the comfort he felt from knowing that Castiel was at least in the same town.   
  
  
  
***************   
  
  
  
**[The Family Group Chat]** **  
** **  
** **  
Dean:** _  
_ _ Alright, y’all! I’m heading out! I promise to take pics and to come back soon!! _ **  
** **  
** **Charlie:** _  
_ _ You’re goddamn right you will!! _ **  
** **  
** **Benny:** _  
_ _ We’re gonna miss you, brother _ **  
** **  
** **Jo:** _  
_ _ And for the love of God, be safe!! *two two hearts emojis* _ _  
_ _  
_ **Charlie:** _  
_ _ I’ll miss you, Deanie Beanie *pleading face* _ _  
_ _  
_ **Eileen:** _  
_ _ We’ll have your room ready for when you come back *red heart emoji* _ _  
_ _  
_ **Dean:** _  
_ _ I’ll miss y’all _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:** _  
_ __  
__ Goodbye, Castiel **  
**


	29. December 2020

“Oh, Sam, hello,” Castiel says. He was picking up ingredients for his dinner with Crowley later.

“Hey,” Sam replied warily, a package of meat in his hand. “You been good?”

Castiel nodded. “I’ve been okay. And you?”

“A hell of a lot better than I was a couple months ago.”

Castiel hesitated for a moment. “Um, how is Dean? I got his thank you card and I loved it,” he asked.

“He actually left a couple of days ago. He’s heading towards the Grand Canyon, says he’s gotta clear his head. He’s in Arizona now, but he’s catching up on sleep since he drove straight through.”

Castiel freezes, his heart pounding in his chest. He’d been fine, knowing that Dean was at least in the same town, he’d been fine and was okay with living like that. But knowing that he’s gone, it...  _ hurts _ . He also now realizes that Dean was truly saying goodbye in his thank you card, now. It wasn’t just a sign-off. He feels like an idiot.

Sam puts the package of meat into his basket and steps forward, putting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Look, I get it, okay? I understand why you left and I don’t think I’m actually even angry about it anymore, but Dean deserved a proper explanation. He deserved better than wondering where you were and why he’s not good enough for you.”

“But that’s not—“

“Let me finish. All I’m saying is that while you were protecting yourself, you let Dean take all of those hits. You didn’t think about how he would feel. I know this is going to make me sound like such an asshole, but it needs to be said: Dean is  _ alive _ , okay? He’s here and he wants to be with you.”

Castiel didn’t know what to say, so Sam continued.

“So, what’re you gonna do about it?” Sam patted his shoulder again, gave him an encouraging smile, and then walked away to continue his grocery shopping.

Castiel felt like he was looking at himself outside of his body. The cold from the freezer section and raw meat made him shiver, but he somehow felt...  _ happy _ .

He left his basket there and ran out of the store, missing the proud smile on Sam’s face as he left.

Castiel drove to the cemetery, thankful that it hadn’t been locked up yet. He ran to Inias’s grave and sat on the bench where he did every single day for the last three years of his life.

“I love you, Inias, I truly do. But I love Dean, too. I love him and I hurt him because I was afraid to lose him like I lost you. I was so blinded by that grief that I didn’t even realize that the only thing stopping me from being happy again was me. I used to be okay with living out my life like this, I was looking forward to it! But then he came into my life and now I can’t see myself being even a little okay without him.” He was crying now, his voice was shaking and he felt like he was going to completely break down at any moment now.

“I’m so sorry that all of this happened. That I couldn’t devote the rest of my life to you like I'd promised. But, I need to go after him. I can't let him go thinking that I didn't care or that he's not good enough, so please...  _ please _ forgive me." Castiel could barely breathe by the end of his speech. He felt like all the air had been punched from him. He couldn't stop crying.

Then he felt a pressure on his knee and he gasped softly when he saw it was a cardinal. Inias was forgiving him, he was giving him his blessing. Castiel started sobbing all over again, and the cardinal flew away after having delivered its message.

"Thank you, thank you," he repeated over and over. "I need to go, but thank you. I love you." Castiel ran back to his car and sped home. He needed to have an overdue talk with Crowley   
  
  
  
  
********   
  
  
  
  
"Crowley!" Castiel called out as he ran inside his home. Crowley was sitting on the couch, reading through one of Castiel's books.

"Have you been crying?" Crowley asked, immediately standing up to comfort his best friend. "What's wrong?"

Castiel wiped his face of the tears and nodded. "Yes, I've been crying, but I'm fine."

"So then..?" Crowley was obviously confused.

"For the last three years, you've taken care of me. You've made sure I wasn't alone. You had breakfast and dinner with me and made me feel as normal as I could after losing Inias, but you made sacrifices to do that. You took time off of school and put your life on hold to be here for me. And I know that wasn't easy, but I let you do it anyways. I'm sorry for that. But, now, I think I can be happy. I want to be happy, and I want you to be happy as well," Castiel explained. "You're my best friend, and you've done so much for me; I can never repay you for that."

"Castiel, what's gotten into you?"

"I'm trying to say thank you. For everything." Castiel pulled Crowley into a tight hug. "And it's okay now. I'm going to be okay. You should go back to school and continue on doing the things you want to do. I'll be just fine."

Both of them were silent until Crowley finally spoke, "...Are you sure?"

Castiel pulled away slightly to look into Crowley's eyes. "I'm positive. You've done more than enough." It was now that Castiel was seeing how  _ exhausted _ Crowley looked, how sad. And that was on him. Castiel had spent so much time trying to hold it together every single day that he didn’t realize his  _ best friend _ was doing the exact same.

"I was happy to do every bit of it, I promise. Your wellbeing is worth more to me than anything else. I want you to know that."

Castiel chuckled. "These past three years have proven that. Now, I need one more favor."

"What is it?"

"I need you to add me back into the group chat while I go pack a bag."

"Where are you going?" Crowley questioned.

"I'm going after Dean," Castiel said with a smile so bright that Crowley thought he was looking at his best friend from five years ago.

Crowley smiled, " _ Finally _ ."   
  
  
  
**@CNovak:** _  
_ _ You’re good at computer stuff, right? Hacking, for lack of a better word? _ **  
** **  
** **@NotCharles:** _  
_ _ Uh, yes, I suppose. Do you need something? _ **  
** **  
** **@CNovak:** _  
_ _ I need Dean’s location _ _  
_ _ I’m going after him _ **  
** **  
** **@NotCharles:** _  
_ _ Fucking finally _ _  
_ _ I’ll give you the details in a few minutes _ **  
** **  
** **@CNovak:** _  
_ _ Thank you, Charlie. And I’m sorry for hurting Dean. _ **  
** **  
** **@NotCharles:** _  
_ _ You can make it up to us later, just go get that boy *two clapping hands* _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
[*unamused face* Group Chat]** **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ I’ve been a terrible friend for a long time and I can’t express how grateful I am towards all of you for staying by my side, even when I made it nearly impossible _ **  
** **  
** **Kelly:** _  
_ _ We love you _ _  
_ _ There’s no need to thank us for that _ **  
** **  
** **Meg:** _  
_ _ Yeah, we love you, Clarence. We just want you to be happy, no matter how that is _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ In that case… _ **  
** **  
** **Kelly:** _  
_ _ Yeah? _ **  
** **  
** **Meg:** _  
_ _ What? _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ I need to go see about a boy _ **  
** **  
** **Kelly:** **  
** _ *face with tears of joy* Go get him, Castiel! _ **  
** **  
** **Meg:** _  
_ _ You’re as sappy as ever *pleased face* Good luck! _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ Thank you. I just hope I’m not too late. _ **  
** **  
** **Meg:** _  
_ _ It’s literally like we’re watching a movie and I love it _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
@NotCharles:** _  
_ _ I’ve got some info! He bought an admission ticket to the skywalk at the Grand Canyon! But he hasn’t gotten a room or anything. If he’s paying cash, then I can’t help you _ _  
_ _ The ticket is for December 15th though _ **  
** **  
** **@CNovak:** _  
_ _ Thank you! I’ll also be sure to tell him that you helped me find him. Um, I hope he won’t be mad _ **  
** **  
** **@NotCharles:** _  
_ _ I hope not either *loudly crying* _ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _  
  
_ **[Everyone But Dean]** **  
** **  
** **Charlie:** _  
_ _ Castiel just asked me to get Dean’s location! He’s going after him! *two loudly crying emojis* _ **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _ Fuckin finally _ _  
_ _ I saw him at the store and told him Dean went off a couple days ago. Hopefully that gave him the kick in the ass he needed _ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _ I’m so excited to see how this turns out. Do you think Dean will forgive him?? _ **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _ I think he will in time _ **  
** **  
** **Benny:** _  
_ _ I think so too. He’s been gone on Castiel for a while now _ **  
** **  
** **Jo:** __  
_ I can’t wait to tease him *pleased face _ __  



	30. December 2020

Castiel sat in the airport waiting for his plane to Phoenix, his leg bouncing in anticipation and heart pounding with nerves. He was nervous about being on a plane again and finding Dean and facing him. He wasn’t even entirely sure of what he wanted to say, he was just hoping that it would come to him and he’d speak from the heart right then and there.

He hoped with all of his might that Dean would forgive him. And, if not, he’d spend the rest of his life trying to earn it. Dean was someone special. Someone to hold on tightly to and he was stupid for ever letting him go.

Castiel huddled into his jacket and wondered, for the 20th time, what the hell Dean was thinking going to the Grand Canyon during winter. He didn’t understand fully, but he’d follow Dean anywhere, just to tell him he loved him.

He realized that telling Dean he loved him whilst the man was in a coma was weak. It was unfair and cowardly. And he vowed to never say those words when Dean couldn’t hear them.

Castiel gathered his things when they called for his flight to board. It was a short flight, but he was just hoping Charlie could tell him what hotel he was staying at. It was so cold.

When they later landed, Castiel immediately took a cab to a car rental place and rented a vehicle. He took off towards the Grand Canyon Skywalk, his phone giving him directions as he went. His eyes went wide when he saw that it was about four hours north of Phoenix, but he took a deep breath and started driving. It had been so long since he drove in such a heavily populated place that he was a bit overwhelmed. He couldn't even imagine how Dean was feeling after having the accident.

******************

Dean sighed as he stepped off the shuttle. Being here again was nice, but he just felt so damn empty, and it felt like nothing in the world could possibly fill the void left in his chest. He felt terrible and wanted to go back to Texas and throw himself in Castiel's arms. He chuckled bitterly to himself as he realized he'd never actually been able to hug the man.

He zipped his jacket up and wrapped his scarf securely around his neck. In the shuttle, it'd been very warm and comfortable, but it was nearly cold at the moment. He followed the crowd of people to the Skywalk and frowned when he saw that he wasn't able to take personal pictures of videos on his phone once he was on the Skywalk. As he read more, he saw that they have photographers on standby though.

He stepped onto the Skywalk bridge and took in the scenery around him. It was beautiful. Majestic, even, but he just felt so lost. Like nothing would ever complete him ever again. He leaned against the railway and sighed heavily. Maybe he should've taken Sam up on his offer and let him come with. Being alone was much worse when also feeling alone. That emptiness, he felt to his very core. So dark, and deep, and cold. Like, he'd never be warm, ever again. And maybe that was his fault. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten as close to Castiel as he did.

He sighed deeply again.

There was no way he could ever regret being friends with that adorable, hard-headed, kind, and loving man. Never. And he was okay with that. It wasn't going to hurt forever, he just had to get through this. He just had to survive.

Dean didn't even realize he started crying until an older woman handed him a small pack of tissues, a small smile gracing her face.

"The scenery is moving, huh?" She said, a soft sigh on her voice.

"It's real nice, but... I think it'd be a lot nicer if I wasn't here alone," Dean answered more honestly than he meant to. He didn't know her, so he figured it was fine.

The woman patted his back. "You're so young, but time flies. Never settle for less than you're worth or let an opportunity fly out the window because you were too scared." They stood there in silence for a moment. "Sorry if you didn't want advice. I was just... telling you what I wished someone told me when I was your age."

Dean smiled warmly at her. "No, it's great advice. Thanks. It was actually the 'not settling for less' that landed me here."

"Then I think you did good. It's getting chilly here now, so I think I'll head inside. It was great meeting you, and I hope you find what you're looking for," she said.

"It was nice meetin' you, too. Have a nice day," Dean replied. He turned back to look at the canyon, pulling the scarf over his nose and exhaling heavily to warm his face.

  
  


*******************

  
  


Castiel quickly got off of the shuttle and looked around as he pulled his jacket tight around him. He followed the crowd to the Skywalk and froze when he saw Dean leaning there against the railway. He was here now and he didn't know what he was going to say, there was so much he wanted to say that he didn't know how to put it into words. He didn't even know if anything he said was going to make sense.

Dean deserved everything he had to offer, and more if he was being completely honest, but Dean loved  _ him _ . And he'd spend forever trying to be worthy of that love. He wasn't going to run away anymore. He'd never run from Dean ever again.

He took his time in walking to Dean due to nerves, observing the man's brief conversation with an older woman before he went back to looking out at the scenery. Castiel saw his slumped shoulders and instantly felt guilty. Dean had always been a cheerful person, but he looked so defeated right now.

  
  


*******************

  
  


Dean covered his face so no one could see him cry. He just needed to let it out, just this once, and he'd be okay. It was okay to cry.

"You know," someone said next to him and Dean flinched. The voice was so familiar. Dean looked over and nearly gasped when he saw Castiel leaning on the railway next to him. "Inias and I went to high school together. We were both pretty shy, but him particularly so. Every time he attempted to ask me on a date, he'd backtrack and ask something else or just rush out a goodbye and leave. It was something I really found adorable," Castiel said. Dean blinked a few times, looking around because he wasn't sure why Castiel was here and telling him this.

"I finally had to be the one to ask him out, and eventually, be the one who proposed. We'd only been dating for about a year at the time, but we'd known each other for years. He was there for me when I lost my dad and supported me all throughout that. I was by his side when he decided to enlist against his family's wishes. For a while, the only people we had were each other. We were the only ones who understood each other on a deeper level.

"So when I lost him so abruptly when they were supposed to be safe, it shook me to my very core. It broke something inside me, and I wasn't sure how to cope. When your spouse dies, it's supposed to be after a lifetime of memories and adventures, but that didn't happen for us. He saved his brothers and burned alive. I couldn't... I couldn't even open his casket and give him one last kiss. All I was given was a folded flag and a medal awarded to him. Those things couldn't replace what I lost. What could?" Castiel was crying now, but his voice hardly wavered.

"But, lately, I've learned that there are different types of love. What I feel for Inias and what I feel for you are equal in strength but different. With Inias, it was something that was ripped away from me, something that I can never get back, and I have to accept that. With you, it's something that just showed up so suddenly and knocked me on my ass. It happened so instantaneously that it made me dizzy and flustered in a way that I'd never been before."

Dean couldn't believe what was happening right now. He felt like maybe he'd fallen off of this Skyline and died, and he was in Heaven. Maybe that's what happened.

"When I was at the hospital that night after having heard about your accident, the only thing on my mind was that I couldn't let you go without telling you how I felt about you. But I didn't expect to run away. I thought I was finally getting myself together, finally letting myself be happy again, and that wasn't the case. As soon as I saw you there it hit me that I could lose you like I lost Inias, and I was absolutely terrified. But I still didn't want to leave without telling you how I felt so I... whispered it into your ear and then ran like a coward."

Dean didn't know what to say. All of this sounded like a love story he didn't want to hear, but also the only one he truly cared about.

"What did you tell me?" He finally asked.

"That I love you," Castiel replied. Dean's breath caught. "I know that I hurt you very badly, and there's no way to express how sorry I truly am, but I would gladly spend the rest of my life trying to earn the right to stay in your life and by your side. I love you, Dean, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to admit it. To myself and to others."

"I don't know what to say, Cas," Dean said honestly. "You weren't there when I needed you. You left me in the hospital and never came back to see me, not for a simple visit, or to even see how I was. You just... left my life completely. After I was discharged from the hospital, I even stuck around town for about a week. I sent you a goodbye in that thank you card to see if you would come to me, but you didn't."

"If you decide that I don't deserve your forgiveness, then I'll accept that. I won't push. And I wouldn’t blame you."

"I don't know. I-I love you too, you know that, but I don't know if I can forgive you for just leaving me. You were the first person I thought about when I woke up from that damn coma. I'd lay there every single day thinking about you and wondering if that day was gonna be the one where you walked through that door and proved everyone else wrong. I held onto  _ hope _ that you would show up when Sam, Eileen, and everyone else was telling me to just let you go and give you time. And when the day came for me to leave the hospital, it was there. When I was at Sam and Eileen's, it was still there. But when I drove out of that town, it was gone. I knew then that you were never coming after me." Dean felt so angry and so relieved at the same time that he didn't know how to express what he was feeling.

"And yet here you are. At the Grand Canyon, standin' here next to me, tellin' me that you love me. And I just don't know what to think, Cas. This isn't some movie where I can just forgive you on the spot and we kiss and live happily ever after. There's more to it. You  _ hurt _ me, in a way that I hadn't been hurt since I lost my parents. I felt like I'd lost a piece of myself." Dean couldn't stop himself from crying. The tears spilled down his face so vigorously and no amount of wiping his face was stopping them.

Castiel put his arms on Dean's shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. "I know this isn’t going to be easy, but nothing worth it ever is. I know I hurt you and I don't deserve your kindness or love or forgiveness, but I want to try and earn them. I want to be the person you desperately wanted me to be. I want to try, Dean. For you, I want to try."

Dean shut his eyes tightly and shook his head. "I'm scared, Cas."

"Me, too," Castiel replied. 

Dean looked back up at him and noted how Castiel was crying as well. He felt like he wasn't so alone anymore. "You came after me," Dean said eventually.

Castiel smiled. "Yes."

"You waited until I was a couple of states over rather than across town?" Dean laughed. "You like doing things the hard way, don't you?"

Castiel laughed with him. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess I do." Castiel stepped closer. "Could I maybe give you a hug? I realized, on the flight over here, that I was never able to hug you like I wanted to."

Dean sniffled and pulled Castiel into his arms, hugging him so tight that Castiel felt like the weight of the world left his shoulders. He felt happy and complete in a way that he hadn't felt since Inias was alive in his arms.

"I wanna try," Dean mumbled into his shoulder. "I wanna give us a shot." Castiel could only hug him tighter, his tears and the lump in his throat not allowing him to speak. "I love you, Cas. I've loved you for a while now."

"I love you, too, Dean. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. From the moment we met in the cemetery, I felt like I knew you. I felt like we'd met somewhere before even though I knew we hadn't. It was like my soul recognized you."

Dean's shoulders shook with his sobs. Castiel loving him so openly was something he didn't think he was ever going to get, but here it was happening on the Grand Canyon Skyline in front of people he didn't know or really care about. Castiel was finally in his arms, and even though he knew this relationship wasn't exactly starting off easy, he was happy. He was so truly happy that nothing could bring him down.

"I know you said that a kiss doesn't fix everything," Castiel said when they pulled away from their hug. "But do you think we could kiss anyways?"

Dean huffed out a laugh. "You're cute as always." He reached up and held Castiel's face in his hands and just  _ looked _ at him. He took in his tear-filled eyes, so blue that the sky couldn't compete, his nose, that scrunches up when he smiles too big or laughs too hard, his sharp jawline, which grows soft when he positions his head certain ways, and his arching eyebrows, his left one reaching high when he's slightly frustrated. Everything, visually, about this man is perfect. But, inside, he has many flaws and that's what Dean loves about him so much.

Slowly, he pulls Castiel in and presses their lips together, humming softly in happiness and warmth. Suddenly, that emptiness he was feeling in his chest is filled with Castiel once again.

Castiel wraps his arms tightly around Dean's waist and pulls his body in closer, and kissing him like his life depended on it.


	31. December 2020

“How’d you know I was here anyway?” Dean asked as they stood side by side, looking at the view as the sun began to set.

Castiel looked nervous. “Well, um, I asked Charlie for a favor,” he said.

Dean chuckled. “I should’ve guessed it.”

“I’m sorry for having her invade your privacy. Please don’t be angry with her,” Castiel said.

“Whoa, dude, I’m not mad, don’t worry. It actually makes me feel pretty happy that you went through all that just to find me,” Dean assured him.

Castiel visibly relaxed. “I was incredibly worried you’d be angry.”

Dean shrugged. “I got nothin’ to hide, so I don’t care if she goes through my stuff. Plus, it was to help you find me. I’d say all’s forgiven anyway.” Castiel smiled at him and they went back to looking out. Their hands were clasped together in Dean’s jacket pocket, and Castiel felt his face heating up despite the bitter cold of the wind whipping around them.

“It’s getting a bit cold,” Dean said after noticing Castiel’s shivering. “Wanna get going?” Castiel nodded and they left the skywalk. Dean noticed the woman from earlier giving him a smile and he returned it with his own bright one. And he could tell she knew what it meant.

“There’s a shuttle coming in a few minutes,” Castiel said as he looked over the schedule.

“We’ll just sit here. So,” Dean said once they sat. “You said you flew here?”

Castiel nodded. “Yes. I didn’t know you’d left town until yesterday when I ran into Sam. I took an evening flight to Phoenix and then rented a car and drove here. I parked it at a hotel when I saw that shuttles take you up here.”

“Well, Thank God for Sammy. We better send him a fruit basket or something,” Dean chuckled. “Glad he isn’t mad at you anymore, though.”

“Me too. I wasn’t going to say hello to him at first, but it felt childish just to avoid him because he was upset with me. I didn’t want him to think I didn’t care,” Castiel explained. “Because I do. I care very much what he thinks of me and how he feels about me.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with... not visiting Inias? For a few days, while we drive back?” Dean asked hesitantly.

“Yes, I’m okay. It feels weird.. like I’m doing something wrong, but I went to see him before I left. Inias was the understanding type.”

Dean left it at that. He knew they were going to have to have another talk about Inias seeing as Castiel couldn’t just spend all day every day at the cemetery when he was now starting a relationship with Dean. But they’d cross that bridge when they got there.   
  
  
  
  
**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ It’s colder than a witch’s tit but I love it! *smiling face with heart eyes* _ _  
_ _ [Image of the Grand Canyon during sunset] _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Naed @Hehenaed on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ He came for me _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Leitsac @NotCassie on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ Why did I ever think I should've let him go? I love him _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** They took a shuttle back to the hotel Dean was staying at and where Castiel’s car was currently parked. Dean followed Castiel all the way back to Phoenix to turn his car back in before heading back for Texas.

The trip back took an extra few days, but neither minded. They took their time going home, and although Castiel felt a bit uneasy about missing days with Inias, he didn’t regret it even once. Dean held his hand as he drove, his grip slightly tightening when an 18-wheeler passed them on the road. Castiel comforted Dean by kissing the back of his hand each time.   
  
  
  
  
**Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ To new beginnings and a new love @CNovak _ _  
_ _ [Image of, in order, Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles’ sunset picture, their arms around one another’s shoulder] _ **  
** **  
**

**Charlie Bradbury @NotCharles replied:** _Finally_ **  
****  
** **Sam Winchester @ItsSam replied:** _Finally_ **  
****  
** **Benny @BennyLafitte replied:** _Finally_ **  
****  
** **Eileen @EileenLeahy replied:** _Finally_ **  
** **  
** **Jo Harvelle @JoSweetheart replied:** _Finally_ **  
****  
****  
****  
****  
******

**Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:** **  
** _  
_ _ Thank you for loving me @DeanWins. I promise to love you in return just as much *red heart emoji* _ **  
** _ [Image is the same as Dean’s above post] _

**Gabe @GabrielN replied:** _You better call me soon and tell me all about this *eyes emoji*_ **  
****  
** **Meg @Meg20 replied:** _Good job, Clarence *pleased face* @DeanWins, if you wanna know what he said about you on our gc, let me know *winking face*_ **  
****  
** **Dean Winchester @DeanWins replied:** _I’m interested *eyes emoji* @Meg20_ **  
****  
** **Meg @Meg20 replied:** _“I gotta go see about a boy” *OK hand emoji* @DeanWins_ **  
****  
** **Kelly @KellyKline replied:** _So happy for you!! *two red heart emojis*_ **  
****  
** **Crowley @NotFergus replied:** _Finally_ _  
__  
__  
__  
__  
_

Dean decided to get a hotel room in San Antonio, to spend a night spooning with Castiel.

“This is a gorgeous room,” Castiel said as he put his bag down on the couch.

“I decided to splurge a little. Better than some dingy motel off of 37,” Dean said. “It’s a little late, but are you hungry?”

Castiel shook his head. “Not really. If it’s all right, I’d like to watch a movie and cuddle with you?” He asked.

Dean blushed and nodded. They found Santa Claus is Coming to Town on one of the channels and settled in, snuggling under the blankets and basking in each other’s warmth.

“So,” Dean said about halfway through the movie. “‘I gotta go see about a boy’?”

Castiel’s face went bright red and he turned away so Dean couldn’t see. “It—it just seemed like the appropriate thing to say at the time,” he muttered.

“I mean, I don’t blame you. I’d have used the same line, maybe. Maybe a different one?” Dean hummed, his head tilted to the side as he thought for a moment. “How about ‘nobody puts Baby in the corner’? Or... ‘love means never having to say you’re sorry’? ‘T’was beauty killed the beast’? Oh! Or ‘this morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How it got there, I don’t know.’”

“Are you just tossing out any movie quote now?” He gave Dean a flat look but eventually broke out into a bright smile. Then, he was confused. “Wait. What’s that last one from?”

Dean shrugged. “ _ Animal Crackers _ . And I’m a movie guy, you know?”

Castiel pulled Dean close, so he could rest his head on Castiel’s chest as they continued the movie. “Yes, I know. And that’s something I love about you.”

Dean wrapped an arm and leg around Castiel’s body and squeezed. “Man, I’m so happy I just do this whenever I want now.” Castiel blushed again but held Dean even tighter. “It just... kinda feels like I’m dreaming.”

“Me too. And if that’s the case, then I hope I never wake up from it.”

Dean looked up at Castiel with warm eyes. “Yeah.” Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to Castiel’s for the second time. It started out pretty innocently but turned heated after a few moments, the movie completely forgotten.

Castiel moaned into the kiss when Dean nipped and sucked at his bottom lip and Dean pulled away. “I think we should probably stop,” he said, panting softly with red-stained cheeks.

“I agree,” Castiel replied as he reached for Dean’s face and lightly traced his facial features. “But I do want you, truly. Please don’t doubt that.”

Dean shook his head. “I know. I can kinda feel the proof against my hip right now,” he chuckled. Castiel was about to apologize when Dean’s eyes lit up suddenly. “This is my favorite song in the movie!” He exclaimed as he turned back to the TV.

Dean missed the fond smile Castiel gave him as he sang his heart out, “Put one foot in front of the other! And soon you’ll be walking across the floor! Put one foot in front of the other! And soon you’ll be walking out that door!”

Castiel laughed as Dean sang and felt happier than he’d felt in years.   



	32. March 2021

Three months later and they hit their first rough patch. Every day, as usual, Castiel goes to the cemetery to spend most of his day with Inias while Dean works at Benny’s diner. With the money that was given, Sam focused fully on college and Dean happily took the open spot.

Right now, he’s just clocked out and is sitting in a booth with Eileen.

“It’s not that I don’t want him visitin’ him at all or anythin’, but maybe just not as much so we can actually spend time together,” he sighs. “I just... I just feel like...” he trails off, afraid to finish his sentence for the truth it held.

“Feel like what?” Eileen asked.

“Like if Inias was still alive, there’s no way Castiel would even love me,” he admitted. His eyes burned with unshed tears because he knew it was true. The only reason Castiel could love him now was because his husband, the love of his life, was dead.

Eileen puts her hand on Dean’s, silent because she also knew that to be true. “Dean, if you don’t talk to him about how you’re feelin’ then he’s not gonna realize he’s even doing anythin’ wrong. He can’t read your mind. You need to talk to him before you do that exploding in rage thing you do.”

Dean sighed heavily, nodding. “I know. I’ll talk to him tonight.”

“That’s good.”

“You know, he wants us to live together already?”

“Really?” Eileen asked, shocked.

“Yeah, and I wouldn’t mind that. But everywhere I look is a picture of Inias and I start feelin’ real fuckin’ guilty.” Dean played with Eileen’s fingers as a means of distraction and she let him.

“Talk to him,” she repeated. Dean nodded and they talked about a few different topics before parting ways. He knew this conversation could easily turn into a fight and he didn’t want that.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
Dean knocked on Castiel’s front door since they were having dinner tonight and smiled widely when he saw his boyfriend's face.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greeted, stepping aside to let him in. “How was work today?”

Dean took a seat next to him on the couch and pulled Castiel against his side to hold him. “It was fine, but I miss being near you.”

Castiel settled comfortably into his side. “Why not come back and work in the cemetery again?”

“Well, we didn’t really talk much there before either.” Castiel hummed and they stayed silent for a moment. Dean stared at a spot on the carpet and just got lost in his thoughts, but when he looked up, he was met with a photo of Castiel and Inias and he flinched a little. He didn’t know how to bring it up or how to even express what he was feeling, but he had to try because it was getting to be too much already.

“Hey, Cas?” He asked, his voice slightly shaking. Castiel looked up at him with fond eyes and a warm smile. “I was just, uh, wonderin’ if—if you had to go to the cemetery every day still?”

Castiel stared at him for a moment before sitting up and facing Dean. “You don’t want me to see Inias anymore?”

“I mean, just not all the time.”

“That’s impossible.” Castiel sounded so sure and confident when he said that, Dean felt like he got splashed with ice-cold water.

“But, Cas—”

“Dean, I thought you understood about the connection me and Inias have.”

“I do! And I completely respect it but we barely have time to even see each other,” Dean pointed out.

“That’s why I want you to move in.”

He gestured to the walls. “You’re okay with taking most of these pictures down?” He asked.

“Dean, what’s all this about?” Castiel asked, moving a bit further away from Dean with his arms crossed. He looked uncomfortable, like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“Look, man, we barely have time together and every time I visit, I just see all these pictures of him. And it’s nice sometimes, you know? But you and I are goin’ out now and it makes me feel like I’m not good enough for you.” Dean stood up and walked over to the picture he’d made eye contact with earlier. He smiled sadly at it. “It just makes me feel like—like you wouldn’t have even given me the time of day if he was still here.”

“I would’ve been married still. I wouldn’t even be here. We’d be living somewhere north with our child by now,” was all Castiel said. Dean felt like Castiel had just ripped his heart out.

“I’m just a poor replacement,” he chuckled humorlessly. “Ain’t that a bitch.” Dean's eyes began stinging with the need to cry and he wanted to run.

“That’s not true. I love you!” Castiel said.

“Then why do you still see him more than you see me?!” Dean raised his voice a little, wanting to protect himself.

“Because I love him, too!”

“Then what am I supposed to do? Just move in and walk around your life with him? You want me to just come home to a place that belongs to another man?! I’m supposed to just be understandin’ and let our relationship sit on the back burner when you promised me you’d _try_?!” Dean’s tears were about to spill over. 

Castiel was already standing up, too. “If I’d known you were gonna be like this, then I never would’ve said that!” He yelled. Dean froze, a small gasp leaving his lips. Castiel immediately looked guilty and sighed. “I—I didn’t mean that.”

“Yeah. You did,” Dean said. “Because when do you ever say anything you don’t mean… right?” Dean grabbed his keys and walked back to the front door.

“Where are you going? Please stay so we can talk about this,” Castiel said.

“Why’d you come for me in Arizona, Cas?” Was all Dean replied with.

“Because I love you.”

“Do you?” Dean asked. “Or do you just love being able to have someone to come home to after you visit your husband?” He didn’t wait for Castiel to reply before leaving.  
  
  
  
  
**[The Family Group Chat]  
** **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _I’m such an idiot_ **  
** **  
** **Charlie:** _  
_ _What happened??_ **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _Me and Cas got into a fight_ **  
** **  
** **Jo:** _  
_ _Already?!_ **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _I just asked him if he could maybe not visit Inias every single day still. I barely see him. And when I go ver, I just see pictures of him/them every damn place I look_ **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _But Dean, Inias means a lot to him_ **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _And what about me? Does our relationship not mean as much or something? I’m TRYING. It’s been months and I’ve been patient and understanding and all smiling and supporting but what about ME? Is anyone gonna give me the support back?? Even when I’m here pouring my heart out to y’all, you’re acting like I’m the worst. Like I’m the one in the relationship who isn’t allowed to feel at all hurt_ _  
_ _So you know what, keep your opinions to yourself if all y’all are gonna do is shit on me when I’m trying to express myself_ **  
** **  
** **Charlie:** _  
_ _Dean, we’re sorry! We’re just trying to understand_ **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _No you’re trying to make me feel guilty for feeling like some cheap replacement in my relationship. I can’t help the way I feel and all I wanted was some damn support_ _  
_ _Just leave me alone_ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** ************* **  
** **  
** ****  
**  
** “Dean?” Sam said when his older brother came into the apartment. “What happened?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Sammy,” he snapped.

“I’m real sorry about what I said. I’d really like to help if I can,” Sam pleaded. Dean looked at him for a moment, searching his eyes before sighing and dropping down on the couch next to his little brother.

“I asked Cas if he still had to visit Inias every day. And he wants me to move in but how can I when there’s pictures of Inias everywhere I look? It just makes me feel like I’m intruding every time I go over. I reminded him that he promised to try and… and he said that if he knew I was gonna be like this, then he wouldn’t have said that,” Dean explained, his voice cracking by the end of his ramble. Sam pulled him in for a hug.

“I’m sorry, Dean. He shouldn’t have said that and there’s absolutely nothin’ you did wrong. You didn’t forbid him to see Inias, you just wanted him to see you a little more, and there’s nothin’ wrong with that. He’ll come to his senses,” Sam tried to assure him. He let Dean cry on his shoulder, angry with Castiel for hurting his brother again, but he tried to be understanding of both of their situations. Dean’s his brother though, and he protected him first _always_.

“What if we break up? I’d told him this wasn’t a movie and everythin’ wasn’t gonna happen all perfect, but he said he was gonna _try_. If this was a movie, I’d be happier,” Dean sniffled, wiping his face of the tears. “I got away from all of this because I knew I deserved better, but I just felt so empty without Cas.”

“Dean…”

“I’d rather feel alone by myself, then with the person I love.” Dean hugged his brother tight and then stood up. “I’m goin’ to bed. Thanks for listenin’, Sammy.” Sam could only watch as Dean walked into his room and shut the door. He leaned back against the couch and sighed heavily, trying to blink back the tears. 

He’d never seen Dean fall this hard from someone, ever. It shook him. Castiel, right now, didn’t deserve his brother. Castiel had his own thing to figure out first before he could pursue a relationship, and Sam just wished he’d done that _before_ going after his brother. He went into the kitchen and decided to make Dean some food for later when he’d eventually come out for a snack. Sam couldn’t cook all that well, but he was going to try.

********

Castiel paced his living room after Dean left, completely blindsided by Dean’s outburst. There was a knock at his door and he rushed for it, thinking it was his boyfriend.

“Dean!” He cried out as he opened it only to shrink back in sadness when he saw Crowley.

Crowley sighed. “Nope, just your bestie.” He walked inside and looked around. “I thought Dean was coming over? I wanted to talk to him about this new movie coming out.”

“He… was here, but we got into a fight and he just left.”

“A fight? What happened?” They sat on the couch and Castiel leaned back with his face in his hands.

“He said that I spend more time with Inias than I do with him, that he couldn’t move in with all the pictures of him hanging up. He said he was just a poor replacement,” Castiel explained. “He—he asked if I actually loved him or just the idea of coming home to someone.”

Crowley was silent for a moment. “What’s the answer?”

Castiel glared at Crowley. “How can you even ask that?!”

“Well, look around you. Did you honestly think Dean would be okay living in another house, under another man’s shadow? To be constantly reminded that he couldn’t be with you if Inias was still alive?” Castiel stayed silent. “Dean was already feeling insecure, ever since he left for Arizona, even before when he was going to see Charlie, so I don’t think it’s at all surprising that he would eventually feel like that again.”

“But there’s no way I can stop seeing Inias…”

“Okay, look. Let’s write it out, just so you can see,” Crowley said as he grabbed the journal and pencil that Castiel kept on the coffee table. “Walk me through your day.”

“I—I wake up at six or seven in the morning. I get ready for the day and then make us breakfast. Afterward, around ten or so, I work in the garden. By lunchtime, I've made lunch for the cemetery and then I go and come back as the sun starts going down, so six or so,” Castiel rattled off as Crowley wrote. “Dean will get off of work at around four or five and he’ll come over when I’m home and sometimes we’ll go over to his if it’s his turn to cook, or we’ll stay at mine and he’ll stay until around nine or ten because of work early in the morning. He’ll sometimes stay the night if he’s off the next day.”

**6 am- Wake up  
7 am-10 am: Breakfast with Crowley  
10 am: Gardening  
12 pm-6 pm: Cemetery  
6 pm-9/10 pm: Dean time**

“Okay, now let’s write out your days with Dean on his off days,” Crowley said.

“Well, um, I'll sleep in a little later. So we get up at around ten. I get ready, we’ll take turns making breakfast, then I check on the garden and show Dean how to care for it since he’s taken an interest. I have lunch with him and then go to the cemetery at around one. I’ll come home at six where he’s usually in the middle of making dinner,” Castiel says with a warm smile on his face. “We’ll do the dishes together and then settle in for a movie and then he goes home after it’s finished, around nine.”

**Dean Days  
10 am: Wake up w/ Dean and get ready  
11 am: Breakfast and Gardening w/ Dean  
12pm: Lunch w/ Dean  
1pm-6pm: Cemetery w/ Inias  
7pm-9pm: Dinner and movie w/ Dean**

“Okay, here they are,” Crowley said, sliding the journal over to Castiel. He watched as Castiel scanned the lists.

“It seems like I spend almost an equal amount of time with them... don’t I?” He asked, although his voice was unsure and small like he already knew the answer.

Crowley gave Castiel a flat look. “I don’t mean to be harsh, but on Dean’s days off, you leave him here in this house filled with mostly pictures of you and Inias for, like, six hours. All he has time to do is think.” Castiel couldn’t even look at Crowley and he sighed. “How would you feel if Dean just left you alone to spend time with Lisa in a house filled with their pictures?”

“How’s that possibly the same thing?” Castiel huffed.

“I don’t see anything that really makes it different.”

“Inias is dead, Crowley.”

“Yes, I know that. But do you? In this situation, Dean feels like the other man. Like he’s the one you’re cheating on Inias with, and why? Because at the end of the day, he’s still number one in your heart and there’s nothing of Dean’s in this home that would suggest you’re with him. You asked him to move in, but would  _ you _ want to live in a place that was filled with pictures of him and another person smiling and happy or would you feel like you’re trespassing on a relationship?”

Castiel looked around the living room, taking in just how many pictures there really were. Around the television that was mounted on the wall, which Dean had set up for him after having put it off for years, the bookshelf that Dean made himself when he noticed the other one was falling apart, and all along the walls surrounding them. Even in the kitchen and dining room, there was at least one photo in there. On his bedside table, there was one as well, not even one of himself and Dean.

But Dean had fixed all the problems that had been around, he’d poured his heart, soul, sweat, and blood into this house. And he did it with a sincere smile. With constant reminders of Inias everywhere he looked. But the truth was that this was a home because of Dean, not the pictures Castiel had hung up to make it seem like Inias was still alive. Dean was  _ here  _ and he loved Castiel, and, while he still loved his late husband, Inias was in a much better place. The few years Castiel got with him were now his to cherish and remember, but it was time for him to let go and be happy again.

Castiel sighed heavily. “How could I have been so blind… and so insensitive?” He muttered.

Crowley put a hand on his friend's back. “You’ve noticed now and that’s what’s important. What’s the plan?” He asked.

Castiel gave him a sad smile. “It’s time to start moving on.”

And they got to work.   



	33. March 2021

Dean laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling and ignoring the messages to the group. Yet, every time it went off, he looked, hoping it to be Castiel. He laid facing the wall, away from his phone, and tried to get some sleep.

The next time his eyes opened, the room was dark save for the light of the kitchen slipping through the cracks in the door. From the knock on the door, he figured it was the thing that woke him up in the first place.

“Dean?” It was Sam.

“Yeah, I’m up.” The door opened and Sam came in with a plate and a beer in his hands.

“I made burgers for dinner tonight,” Sam said. Dean took the plate and smiled down at the burger on it. “I—I, um, I hope it’s alright.”

“I’m sure it’s great, Sammy,” Dean said. He decided to take a bite right now to ease his brother’s nerves. When he bit into it, he smiled fondly at the red in the middle.

“How is it?” He sounded so eager and hopeful that it made Dean’s heart squeezed. Normally, every time Sam made him burgers to cheer him up, they were undercooked and Dean would mostly lie to him by telling him that they were perfectly done. But, after everything that had happened to him recently, he decided it was time to right a wrong.

He stood up and patted his brother’s shoulder. “I really appreciate this, man. But let me show you how I make them, okay? So you can make them for Eileen and your future family one day.” Sam’s face went a bright red at that and got all shy, causing Dean to chuckle.

They went into the kitchen and Dean walked his brother through every single step, guiding him honestly and smiling as he thought back to the time when his father first taught him how to make them. It made him miss their parents more. Their mother used to watch her dramas on television while their dad taught them how to do many different things, although Dean only picked up the stuff where he built things with his hands whether it was out of wood or food, and anything in between and Sammy was the one who retained all the academics. He’d always been okay with that.

After all, what some others may be good at may not be suitable for everyone, but there’s always something that makes every person special and  _ them _ .

“Thanks, Sammy,” Dean said once all three of them were sitting down for dinner. Sam smiled widely in return. There was nothing that needed to be said.

******************

“Are you okay?” Crowley asked when they’d finished taping up the last box that held Inias’s things.

Castiel smiled at him, and it was genuine. “Yes, I’m all right. I always thought, if the day ever came when I’d put all these things away, it’d be when I was nearing my time. When I was deciding what I wanted to be buried with. But I see now that it doesn’t have to be like that. All these memories that I have of him, the time I got as his friend and his husband, they’re  _ mine _ . No matter where I go. I don’t need to see him at the cemetery every day or have all these pictures of him up.”

Castiel put a finger to his own head. “It all exists here.” Then his chest, where his heart is. “And here. And that’s enough for me. I’ll meet Inias again one day, hand in hand with Dean. I’m sure they’d get along.” Crowley chuckled at that, nodding in agreement. “But for now, it’s time I start my life again and live it with Dean.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Crowley said.

Castiel pulled his best friend into a hug. “It’s thanks to you. All of it was thanks to you.”

“I don’t want a thank you,” he replied softly. “I just want you to be happy.”

“And I am. So, what are you going to do now?” Castiel asked.

“Well, I’ve enrolled in college again. Once the new semester starts up, I’ll be continuing where I left off. Until then, I’ll keep coming by here. I’m pretty fond of Dean.” Castiel’s smile was so bright, so happy, and so full of life again. Looking at this smile, Crowley would never guess that he’s been through the hardships he has and it makes him happy. To see his best friend smiling with that innocence, it makes him truly happy.   



	34. 2010

Dean sat almost catatonic right next to his little brother, the small boy crying against his side as he disconnected from the situation entirely. He felt so cold, so numb, so… _ helpless _ as he watched their parent’s caskets lowered into the ground.

“It’s gonna be okay, Sammy. I’ll take care of you,” he mumbled, holding his brother closer. “I got you.” He was only sixteen though. He didn’t know what to do or how to do it, but he’d figure it out. With some help.

Sam replied but he was sobbing too hard and Dean couldn’t understand him. “Where are we gonna go now?” Sam cried after calming down enough to ask.

“Jody’s gonna be our guardian now. We can still live in our house, but she’ll be checking in every day. I begged her to let us stay there,” Dean explained. He knew it wouldn’t be at all possible if Jody wasn’t the sheriff around here, so he was grateful.

As the funeral ended, the crowd slowly dispersed after giving the boys their condolences. It was so stupid and frustrating. Hearing nothing but apologies all day made Dean  _ hate _ those words. They were only meant to make the person saying them feel better, so they could feel like they actually did something. Dean hated them, hated all of them.

He kept a tight hold on Sam, whose face was buried in his hands, the entire time. For hours. Until it was just him, Sam, and Jody staring at the men putting the dirt over their parents. Jody, thankfully, didn’t say a single word. She stood there next to them patiently until they gave their okay to leave. She made them dinner that night and ate with them. And, bless her, tried to make things seem normal.

Jody stayed with them for a few days and taught Dean how to do certain things he hadn’t learned. Like the laundry, regular house cleaning, and how to pay the bills. She also helped him find a job nearby, which Dean insisted on despite Jody giving them money.

“Look, I wanna at least be able to get us groceries or maybe go out to eat, too. Fun stuff,” he told her. Sam was still trying to get used to it. More often than not, they shared their parents' bed and grieved together. They’d all been so close and losing them so suddenly to a drunk driver was like ripping a part of themselves out, a part they’d never get back and never heal from.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll handle the power, the water, and the property tax when it comes around and you get everything else,” she suggested. Dean agreed and they shook on it.

Every day though, he’d go to the cemetery and visit his parents for hours. He never said a single word. He just sat there. Some days he quietly cried, some days he was pissed off, and other days, well, those were the hardest. He’d break down, just drop to his knees and sob to his heart's content, and yet it was somehow never enough.

Every thought he had was jumbled, but he performed his daily tasks and his job on autopilot, so he figured he didn’t need to think much about it. Sammy, on the other hand, wore his heart on his sleeve and could often be found crying quietly, randomly, at home. Never at school, he said, never around heartless kids. Dean agreed. He put up this entire act in school, like he was fine, like nothing had changed.

There came a point, nearing Sam’s high school graduation when Sam started begging him to just stay home rather than go visit their parents, but he couldn’t. He felt like he  _ had _ to go and let them know they were doing fine, to give them updates and let them know that they hadn’t forgotten them. But it was getting unhealthy. Dean didn’t care how much it was hurting him, but it was starting to hurt Sam and that was something he couldn’t do.

But he just couldn’t stop going.

A few months passed before he realized that his parents were  _ gone _ . They weren’t buried there, at least not their souls. They were trying to be happy in Heaven, and he was positive his behavior was only making them sad. So he visited one last time.

“I know I never said a word,” he started. “But I wanted to tell you that I’m gonna stop comin’ here all the time. In fact, it’ll probably be years before I do again, because, well, I talked to Sammy about it... I’m goin’ on a road trip. I don’t exactly know where to, but I’ll let Baby decide.”

Sam was getting ready for college and, when Dean brought up wanting to road trip, he encouraged his older brother to do so. And, while it had a difficult decision, they decided to sell their parents' house and use that for Sam’s college education and a smaller place to live locally. Sam said he didn’t need a big house if it was just him. Just a simple two-bedroom apartment for whenever Dean came home again.

The house sold pretty quickly, and Dean left once everything was settled and Sam was starting school.

He promised himself he’d  _ never _ live that kind of life again. 

So when he saw Castiel doing exactly what he’d done years ago, he couldn’t help but hate him just a little… because he was seeing who he used to be.   



	35. March 2021

“I’m not going to visit you every day anymore. It was hurting Dean, but it was also hurting  _ me _ . I’ve been so convinced that you were  _ here _ that I let it blind me to who was truly here. You’re always going to be a part of my memories and in my heart; I don’t need to come to a specific place to be near you,” Castiel explained as he smiled down at Inias’s headstone. “I’m ready to start my life again. I wish you were here still, but the time we got together was some of the best years of my life. As for a life I’m hoping I can still start with Dean, well, we’ll tell you about it when we meet you again. Over a cup of sweet tea.”

Castiel didn’t feel the urge to cry this time. It wasn’t a goodbye, not really. He was going to see Inias again one day and he was looking forward to telling him about the life he lived.

He drove over to Sam and Eileen’s, sighing in relief at the sight of the Impala still there. He parked next to it and took a deep breath before heading towards the door.

He knocked and Sam answered after a few moments.

“Hello, Sam,” Castiel greeted, smiling apologetically.

Sam stepped aside to let him in. “Please, just fix it.” Sam pointed to a shut door. “He’s been sleepin’ so much lately, but he’s in there.”

“Thank you.” He then caught sight of Eileen sitting at the kitchen table with papers scattered across it, no doubt part of her work. “Hello. It’s nice to see you again.”

She smiled. “Yeah. You been okay?” She asked.

“I’ve seen better days, but I’m hoping to fix everything now,” he said honestly.

“Good, because you  _ really _ messed up.”

Castiel winced. “I know.” His voice was so sad because he couldn’t deny that he was treating Dean so horribly and then had the gall to get  _ angry _ when Dean was trying to be open and honest with him. “I’m going to do my best and work hard every day to be the person who deserves all the love Dean has given me, I promise.”

Sam patted his shoulder. “You already  _ are _ that person, man. Just be you.”

“That simple?”

“Of course it is,” Sam said with a wide smile. “It’s not something you need to travel to the ends of the Earth searching for.”

Castiel hummed. “I think you’re right about that. I’m going to see if he’s awake. I’ll sit with him if he’s not.” Sam and Eileen went back to what they were doing while Castiel knocked on the shut door.

No answer. He knocked again, the same thing. Slowly, he peeked inside the dark room only lit with the afternoon sun peeking through the curtains. Dean was sleeping quietly on top of the blankets. Castiel smiled fondly at the hotdog pajama pants. He took a seat beside the bed after closing the door behind him and stared at Dean for a moment. His face looked peaceful but  _ tired _ . The bag under his eyes spoke words to Castiel that made his heart clench in his chest. It was his fault Dean was like this. He had to make it right, if Dean would let him.

He grabbed Dean’s hand and held it tightly, the man hardly moving as he slept, and gazed at the sight of their hands intertwined. Over the past few months, they hardly ever actually held hands. Honestly, they hadn’t even made love despite sleeping in a bed together a couple of times a week. Castiel was positive that Dean was just waiting for him to be okay with taking their relationship to the next level because Dean knew that Castiel still felt married to Inias.

Castiel sighed deeply, mentally kicking himself for being an asshole this whole time. He thought he was doing better, but he hadn’t been. Not at all. He couldn’t blame Dean at all for asking him if he actually loved him because he was positive he would’ve felt the same way had their roles been reversed. He sighed again and laid his head on the bed, just staring at their hands and waiting for Dean to wake up. 

Castiel missed him so much.

******************

Dean jolted awake suddenly and looked around the room. The sun seemed to be close to setting, but what caught him mostly off guard was Castiel sleeping with their hands intertwined.

“The hell?” Dean muttered. He shook the man to wake him up.

“Oh. I must’ve fallen asleep too. It’s so peaceful in here,” Castiel said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“What’re you doin’ here?” Dean asked.

Castiel sat up straight. “I’m—I’m here to apologize. I’m very sorry, Dean.” He looked directly into Dean’s eyes so he could convey how serious he was.

Dean sighed and looked away. “Do you even  _ know _ what you’re sorry for?”

“I was being insensitive to you. I was hurting both of us with my unhealthy behavior,” Castiel explained. “And, even worse, I lashed out at you when you were expressing your feelings to me, which I know is something that you’ve struggled with. You should be able to always confide in me about anything and everything without risking me getting upset  _ at _ you for it. I really messed up.”

Dean stared at him for a moment. “Even if I forgive you, what difference will it make? We’ll just go back to what we’ve been doin’ these past few months.”

Castiel shook his head and gripped Dean’s hand tighter. “No! I promise. I’m not going to be visiting Inias as much, maybe once or twice a week for a little bit, and Crowley and I have put away all of his things and his pictures aside from a couple that I’ve left in the living room.”

Dean felt an overwhelming rush of guilt and ripped his hand away. “Don’t go doin’ me any favors!” He said.

Castiel grabbed his hand again. “I promise you that this was my decision. I told you that I realized it was hurting  _ both _ of us, and I meant it. I used to think I could spend the rest of my life frozen in time, just visiting Inias at the cemetery but I wasn’t happy. I just told myself I was. I want to start living my life again, and not just because I met you, but because I’m still here. I need to live my life to the fullest extent and I’d love for it to be with you by my side.”

Dean calmed down and stared at Castiel again, just stuffing his eyes before breaking out into a small smile. “You mean that?”

“You know I do.” Castiel was smiling brightly.

“Yeah, you never say nothin’ you don’t mean,” Dean mumbled. “Speakin’ of, that was fucked up. What you said to me.”

Castiel ducked his head. “It was extremely harsh and unfair. I really do hope you can forgive me. I don’t even know where that came from because I don’t regret me and you at all. I think I was just… scared.”

“I understand. But I also want  _ you _ to understand that I’m not your punchin’ bag and I’m not gonna let myself be treated like that, no matter how I feel about you. How ever you’re feelin’, we should talk about it like adults.”

“Yes, of course. I promise,” Castiel replied.

Dean exhaled. “Thank god. I hate fightin’. Let’s never do that again,” he said. “I love you.”

Castiel’s eyes lit up and he tackled Dean in a tight hug as he let a few tears out. “I was so terrified that you wouldn’t want me back. I’ve treated you so horribly and you deserve so much better,” he cried.

Dean held him closely and raised a brow. “I took you back and now you’re tryin’ to talk me out of it?”

“No! Definitely not,” he said.

“Then stop sayin’ I deserve better,” Dean chuckled. “Besides, I’m the one who gets to decide that.”

“I love you,” Castiel whispered. Dean held Castiel’s face and pulled him in for a loving kiss. “I love you so much.”

Dean could only smile into the kiss, comforted by the weight of Castiel on top of him.


	36. April 2021

Dean is visiting Castiel’s home as he usually does after every day and they’re sitting at the dining table having pie in the middle of the afternoon. Castiel had been tending to his garden while Dean was installing the second arbor.

Today’s pie was pecan.

“I swear your pie could bring happiness to anyone who tried them,” Dean praised. He was speaking with his mouth full but Castiel didn’t have the heart to tell him to behave. It was endearing.

“Flattery, hm?”

Dean winked.

“Dean?” Castiel asked, putting his fork down.

“What’s the word, Cas?”

“Would you like to… move in with me?”

Dean stopped mid-chew and stared at him before swallowing down his food and smiling wide at him. “Should we go pack later today? I don’t have much stuff, so it shouldn’t take more than an hour or so.”

Castiel went back to eat his pie. “That sounds perfect.”

“It only took you another month to ask me,” Dean teased.

Castiel moved the rest of the pie out of Dean’s reach.

“Wait, no, I was just teasin’ you!” Dean whined. Castiel laughed as he returned the pie to Dean’s side of the table. “You can be so cruel, you know that!”

“You’re the one who’s in love with me,” Castiel shot back easily. They bickered with one another until it was time to get Dean’s things. 

Castiel didn’t think it was possible to ever be this happy again, and he counted himself lucky. It didn’t take very long for Dean to pack up his things. Despite living at Sam’s for a few months, he kept everything mostly packed, a habit he picked up on the road. One that was hard to grow out of.

Dean caught Castiel’s fond smile as he started hanging his clothes up on his side of the closet, but he didn’t say anything. He knew Castiel was excited to have him here, just as he was excited to be living here now. He didn’t have to keep his clothes half-packed anymore, because he was home now.

Later that night, with only the light from the full moon peeking through the blinds, they made love, and their worlds burst with color. Like looking through a kaleidoscope for the first time.   



	37. December 2022

Dean stood in front of Inias’s headstone, a soft smile on his face.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been here, huh?” He said. “Sorry about that. I’m here because…” he trailed off and, instead, pulled a ring out of his pocket. It belonged to his dad while Eileen was currently wearing their mom’s ring.

“Well, I’d like to propose, but I really want your blessing first,” Dean finally said. He looked back down at the ring. It was a simple silver band, but it had years of love and a story behind it. It had meaning. Much more meaning than he would’ve found in any store.

Suddenly, the wind blew wildly around him. He felt like it was embracing him, despite the cold winter air. He understood, instantly, what it was saying.

_ Take care of him _ .

Dean smiled to himself. “Don’t worry.” He put his hand on Inias’s headstone. “I got him. You just wait for us up there, yeah? I’m sure we’ll have awesome stories to tell you.”

He looked up to the sky with a warm smile before taking his leave.   



	38. February 2023

**[literally everyone but cas Group Chat]** **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _ Okay! Tonight’s the night! I’m gonna propose to his ass *pleased face* _ **  
** **  
** **Jo:** _  
_ _ Finally _ **  
** **  
** **Eileen:** _  
_ _ About time _ **  
** **  
** **Benny:** _  
_ _ Y’all are slow _ **  
** **  
** **Kelly:** _  
_ _ Jesus, finally! _ **  
** **  
** **Meg:** _  
_ _ Gonna show us the ring or what? _ **  
** **  
** **Crowley** _ : _ _  
_ _ I saw it. It’s nice, elegant _ **  
** **  
** **Charlie:** _  
_ _ Awwww, Deanie Beanie!! *smiling face with heart eyes* *pleading face* _ **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _ Good luck, Dean!! *two smiling face with hearts* _ **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _ Thanks y’all! Here we go! _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** Dean slipped his phone back into his pocket and got back to cooking. He wanted to do something special, and he thought long and hard about it for weeks before deciding that every moment with Castiel was special. He just needed to be himself.

Which was why he was cooking his famous burgers while baking a strawberry pie. Okay, so he was being sentimental, whatever. Castiel was still at the cemetery visiting Inias. He hasn’t gone all last week so he told Dean he was going to be staying a little longer. Dean picked a flower from their garden and told him to give it to Inias.

The pie was ready first and he set it on the counter to cool while he finished up dinner. Castiel was normally pretty good about timing Dean, so he wasn’t surprised when his boyfriend walked through the door as he was fixing the burgers up.

“Great timing as always, babe,” Dean said.

Castiel looked around the kitchen, talking in the pie and food and the small mess. “You’ve been busy,” he noted.

“Yep. Now wash up and sit your butt at that table, I’ll be right there.”

Castiel playfully rolled his eyes but obliged. Dean took their plates to the table, and then their pie, and lastly the drinks. It was far from the standard proposal, but it was so  _ them _ that nothing else would work. It was perfect.

When they sat down together, they made easy conversation. Castiel gave Dean updates on the whole cemetery, not just Inias’s. He mentioned that people were still using the benches he made and there were more visitors. Dean felt happy.

They’d just started on the pie when Castiel looked up at him. “Please forgive me, Dean, but I don’t remember why today is a special day. You’ve done all of this for me but I just can’t remember. I’m so sorry,” Castiel said. And he really did look upset that Dean had to laugh.

“Cas, buddy, it’s a special day but not an anniversary,” he explained. “You didn’t forget anything.”

“Then… why?”

Dean took a deep breath and got out of his seat. Growing up, he didn’t know if he was ever going to get married or if he even wanted to, but he always wondered what it would feel like to get down on one knee and ask that question.

It wasn’t particularly spectacular, but the look on Castiel’s face… he could definitely see the appeal. He held up his father’s ring.

“Will you marry me, Cas?” He asked, his voice slightly wavering with nerves.

Castiel stared at him for so long that Dean was starting to feel like maybe it was a bad call, but then he threw himself into Dean's arms.

“Yes! God, yes!” Castiel cried as he peppered Dean’s face with kisses. Dean slid the ring on his finger, thanking Inias for the help with that one. Castiel had that ring put away in its box and Dean checked its size one night when Castiel was taking a shower.

“It’s perfect,” Dean said mostly to himself. Castiel hummed in agreement before pulling Dean into a tearful kiss.   
  
  
  
**[The Family Business Group Chat]** **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _ HE SAID YES _ **  
** **  
** **Meg:** _  
_ _ No shit _ **  
** **  
** **Jo:** _  
_ _ No shit _ **  
** **  
** **Charlie:** _  
_ _ No shit _ **  
** **  
** **Gabe:** _  
_ _ No shit _ **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _ Wow didn’t see that coming _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ I did say yes _ **  
** **  
** **Dean:** _  
_ _ He also said “god, yes!” *smirking face* _ **  
** **  
** **Sam:** _  
_ _ DEAN _ **  
** **  
** **Castiel:** _  
_ _ I mean, I did say that, too _ **  
** **  
** **Gabe:** _  
_ _ CAS _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Dean Winchester @DeanWins on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ He said yes!! *two hearts emoji* @CNovak _ _  
_ _ [Image of Misha Collins with his left hand on his chest, showing off his wedding ring perfectly] _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Castiel @CNovak on Twitter:** _  
_ _  
_ _ I said yes! *red heart emoji* @DeanWins _ __  
__ [Image of a close up of a wedding ring on a finger, stock photo]   



	39. June 2030

“Jack! Where’s your dad?” Dean huffed, waiting impatiently by the front door. Jack came running down the stairs and Dean couldn’t help but smile at his little boy.  _ Their  _ little boy, who was now six years old.

“He’s takin’  _ forever _ on his hair, like always!” Jack complained.

“Cas, hurry it up or we’re gonna have trouble findin’ a parkin’ space! C’mon, everyone else is there, even Charlie and Jo!” Dean called out again. Charlie and Jo had come from Ireland for this day.

Castiel came flying down the stairs. “Okay, okay, I’m here! Let’s go,” he said, rushing out the door. Dean and Jack shared a look before following him. “How long’s the drive again?”

“Like five hours,” Dean answered as he got Jack safely buckled in.

“When did Charlie and Jo get in?”

Dean got in his seat, buckled in, and started the car. “Last night. They crashed with Crowley. Sam and Eileen took off a couple hours ago with Benny and Andrea. And Kelly and Meg should be landing soon.”

Castiel huffed. “We really are the last ones.”

“That’s on you sweetheart,” Dean chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll make it with enough time to spare. I’ve decided we’re taking the toll roads.”

Castiel was silent for a moment before smiling over at Dean. “I can’t believe it. Crowley’s another step closer to being a doctor.”

“Yep. What’s he have, like three years of residency?”

“Four.”

“I miss that guy so much, but I’m real proud of him.”

“Yes, me too.” Castiel turned back to look at Jack and smiled when he saw him nodding off. He took the blanket that was next to their little boy and covered him up. “He’s getting so big.”

Dean glanced at Jack in the rearview mirror. “Yeah, he’s growin’ fast. I was thinkin’...”

“We should have another one?” Castiel finished.

“We have plenty still saved up. We could find a surrogate in no time, especially since Kelly’s definitely not up for it again,” Dean explained.

“Let’s talk about it some more when we get back home. We could do some more research. Maybe even look into adoption.”

“Well, I was hoping we could adopt our third kid.”

“You want three?!” Castiel exclaimed.

“I wanna big family,” Dean shrugged. “Besides, with Eileen and Sam trying for kids now, I want them all to have each other. Just in case.”

Castiel put his hands on Dean's lap. “I know what you mean,” he assured him. “I’m sure Jack wouldn’t mind siblings.”

Dean stared out at the road ahead, the sunrise only a couple of hours ago, and it was just them. Just Dean and his family that was apparently still growing. He took Castiel’s hand in his and squeezed it. He was so happy.

They were both happy.

**Castiel Winchester @CasWins** **  
** **  
** _ Loving my son, loving my husband, and loving life *two hearts emoji* _ **  
** **  
** **  
** **  
** **Dean Winchester @DeanWins** __  
_  
_ __ Jack’s dad. Cas’s husband. Sam’s older brother. Owner of Baby *red heart emoji*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes my little social media AU! I really hope y'all enjoyed it
> 
> If you're interested in reading it in its original form, please check it out on my twitter, @/WritingByCL  
> It's my pinned tweet.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and supporting! <3
> 
> Also note: When I originally posted up the first chapter a few days ago, I thought I'd posted up the entire work. Sorry if you got spammed with me uploading it chapter by chapter. I'm still new to some of ao3!


End file.
